Last Chance Saloon - What Do I Do?

[hornetsmad]

So, I am originally from the UK but moved abroad a few years ago. In that time I began a relationship with a girl that lasted for almost two years until a few weeks ago when she messaged me telling me that she wanted to finish things, and that she felt bored in our relationship. Things hadn't been perfect but I was shocked to hear that she really wanted to end things. We lived together and had been to several trips to the UK together, we saw each other all the time and I thought we were generally happy.

 

At first I refused to accept her decision but once I told her I understood she started messaging me saying that she just needed some space. For the past few weeks we have been meeting up on her terms, and she even stayed over last week and we spent the night together. Every time that we have been together things have been normal and I was sure that things would be fine after I get back from the UK, as I already had a trip booked back which leaves this Friday and was due to return on the 17th October.

 

However, last week she messaged me again saying that she doesn't think that she can go back to the way things were, and wants me to stay in the UK with my family and not come back. I have tried to accept over the past few days that my life here is likely over as I do not want to live here without her, it's a very small community and it will be too hard to come back and see her

all the time without being with her.

 

The last time I saw her we had a great night together, we were hugging, kissing, and things were great. For the past four days I have managed to do No Contact but as Friday, my leaving date, gets closer and closer and I am packing up our things (which really hurts, I wish she could have helped me), I can't help but thinking that as I'm leaving anyway on Friday, what harm would one final try do? I have thought about sending her flowers, explaining that I am sorry I wasn't perfect and to thank her for all the good times we had together and that I will always be willing to come back and be with her if she gives me the chance.

 

These last few weeks have been the most stressful I have ever experienced, full of tears, sleepless nights and a lot of pain. As I will be going on Friday anyway, should I try to reach out to her one final time?

 

When we were together last week I asked her to come to the airport with me to see me off and she agreed, but as we haven't spoken since then I worry that she has changed her mind. Do I just wait to see if she turns up to say goodbye before I leave or do I try to initiate final contact? I don't want to leave thinking that I didn't do all I could possibly do, or for her to think that I didn't fight for her.

 

Any ideas are greatly appreciated. Also feel free to ask me questions as I know I maybe haven't given enough information about our circumstances, relationship and break-up.

[PegNosePete]

You lived together, and she messaged you that she wants to break up...?

 

It very much sounds as though there is someone else, to me. She is saying all the classic lines, and doing all the classic actions, of someone involved in an affair.

 

No, don't reach out to her and don't fight for her. She has made her feelings known, and knows exactly how you feel already. Begging, grovelling or acting like a puppy dog will not convince her that you are the better man. In fact more likely those actions will convince her that you are weak.