Dealing with extended family

[aileD]

If you've read my story, you know that (long story short) my husband had an affair for about a year and a half and bounced back and forth between me and his AP.

 

We are working it out now, he's home and things are going well...AP is out of the picture.

 

For the most part, I didn't talk with anyone in my family about this. But the few people I did, told others and word got around. No one really said anything to me but I know there was talk. They were worried about me because of how I'd changed during that time.

 

My grandmother passed away yesterday. We'll be going to the funeral and all that in the next few days. This will be the first time me and H have been together with family since being back together.

 

I don't even know what I'm asking..,,I guess....how did others deal with that ? With family that may not have wanted you to give H a second chance? Did you say anything? Were they cold to your H?

 

I know this is a funeral and no one is really going to be focused on us. I am not trying to be selfish I just have issues with anxiety and the stress of my grandmother dying and having to do all the pictures and find clothes for the kids to wear and the funeral will be on my daughters birthday where she literally had a band parade to attend for the opening of the fair then Had all these birthday plans with friends and I haven't even told her yet and now everyone might ignore my husband and he knows that will happen and has to stand to it, but it still makes him feel bad and uncomfortable too.

 

Stress/vent... Sorry

Edited September 28, 2016 by aileD

[benpom]

If you've read my story, you know that (long story short) my husband had an affair for about a year and a half and bounced back and forth between me and his AP.

 

We are working it out now, he's home and things are going well...AP is out of the picture.

 

For the most part, I didn't talk with anyone in my family about this. But the few people I did, told others and word got around. No one really said anything to me but I know there was talk. They were worried about me because of how I'd changed during that time.

 

My grandmother passed away yesterday. We'll be going to the funeral and all that in the next few days. This will be the first time me and H have been together with family since being back together.

 

I don't even know what I'm asking..,,I guess....how did others deal with that ? With family that may not have wanted you to give H a second chance? Did you say anything? Were they cold to your H?

 

I know this is a funeral and no one is really going to be focused on us. I am not trying to be selfish I just have issues with anxiety and the stress of my grandmother dying and having to do all the pictures and find clothes for the kids to wear and the funeral will be on my daughters birthday where she literally had a band parade to attend for the opening of the fair then Had all these birthday plans with friends and I haven't even told her yet and now everyone might ignore my husband and he knows that will happen and has to stand to it, but it still makes him feel bad and uncomfortable too.

 

Stress/vent... Sorry

 

I don't have similar experience, but I want to share my opinion. Just opinion. Please don't take it seriously.

 

I think you guys don't need to be stressed out about this. It's your life. If you two can work it out, that is good enough. The extended family will mostly likely, and should, respect your choices.

 

Try think this way: 50% people have affairs. Lots of families don't break up just because of affairs. The families you think are happy and affair-proof, may not be as happy as you think. They might have unpleasant secrets other people don't know.