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Being Clear on stance


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I am ready to move on finally. Of course like most i want another chance. I want to know if it is best to let her know exactly where i stand on what i want. Some things i never told her when we where together. Things like saying if we ever got back together it would be for the long haul and get married (she wanted to get married up until 3-4 weeks before she broke up with me and ran to a dud.

But i need to move on, because in 3 months i have gotten no where. But should i tell her all the stuff i want her to know, like marriage, family, etc..all the stuff i could not answer while we were together, but now that i have had a long time to think about what i actually want, i feel that is the direction i want to go.

 

Realise i dont want nor expect a response from her. I just want to be clear and walk away and let life take its course. It is not a tactic to win her back by any means, just gives me peace of mind that i left being very clear on where i stand.

 

Is that a waste of time even though i never said those things when it actually mattered? It seems like it would give me piece of mind to move on knowing that i have done all i can do and it is not in my power. I do want her back (we where together for 5 years, known her for 6) so i know my feelings for her are the real thing. She has to figure her life out on her own. I dont want to influence her, but i want to be clear about my position.

 

We have been broken up for 3 months and she got with a new dude 2 weeks later who by my and about 10 other peoples accounts is not suited for her, but i wont get into that. Plus he is 28 and she is 22 turning 23. I think those are different stages of life.

 

Not sure what to do, i just feel the need to say what was unspoken. But who knows, i am sure she knows where i stand anyway? i dont know. Not the family stuff anyway.

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LucreziaBorgia
It seems like it would give me piece of mind to move on knowing that i have done all i can do and it is not in my power.

 

It sounds like your intentions for doing this are accepting of the situation and realistic. It can't hurt to put a voice to all that you want to say and then turn and walk away and move on with your life. If you don't say those unsaid things, you will always wonder what would have happened if you did say them. Just let her know that you have accepted that its over, and that you are saying these things as a part of your own closure and that it would probably be best if she not answer to it or contact you again.

 

It might not make a difference, but at least you'll know you said your piece.

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NightsEcho

Hey Taco,

When I was at 3 months I did the same thing. She came over and I basically wore my heart on my sleeve. Told her I loved her, and always would, told her I wish she could see the man I had become, and wished her nothing but compliments.

 

You know what I got. Nothing. She walked away and didn't even look back. Oh well, once I knew I had done all I could, I felt free....the next month of NC was natural and peaceful

 

THat was until she called me a week and a half ago........

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It is so weird. and impossible to predict, the moment you can get your head around the fact that their is nothing you can do and you gave it your all is truly when you can really begin to move forward.

Thats why i feel i need to do this. But the thing is, this other guy makes it so awkward and he puts major pressure on her to stay away from me. It just feels wrong and awkward right now.

 

I dont think i could get her to meet me right now, it would have to be through email, which really really sucks, because i am a in person kind of talker. But i may have no choice.

 

A month after you did it, she called, thats so weird how unpredictable this stuff is. Was she with another guy as well?

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NightsEcho

You know I never asked.....actually i never even picked up.....you can follow my ost on Breaking uo called "Urgent advice needed"

 

Ya you know I feel like I am moving on now, sad to say. It feels like not some revalation, but a natural progression.

 

Let me know if i can help ya man

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thanks for the support, it helps talking to people who are going through the same thing at the same time. It is great talking to family and friends, but i find it easier to relate to the people feeling what i am feeling at the same moment.

This site has helped me a lot.

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