SpiralOut Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 Their comments get to you because you see it as embarrassing you, but what's really happening is they are embarrassing themselves. Try and see it that way, and it will be much easier to deal with. You could say something like "you sound surprised!" and wait to see what they say. If you want to take it a step further, you could say "I didn't expect you to act so shocked." It puts the focus back onto them. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 What I'm reading is that you don't ever tell anyone anything, and then you get mad if they assume something different than what actually happened. I mean if you never mention dating anyone, what are people to assume? Especially since most people your age post everything on social media, the fact that you go out of your way to avoid posting your friends and dates, people come to conclusions. It almost seems like a game, you frame your life intentionally to make it look like you're lonely, and then get offended when people see it like that. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Whoknew30 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 What I'm reading is that you don't ever tell anyone anything, and then you get mad if they assume something different than what actually happened. I mean if you never mention dating anyone, what are people to assume? Especially since most people your age post everything on social media, the fact that you go out of your way to avoid posting your friends and dates, people come to conclusions. It almost seems like a game, you frame your life intentionally to make it look like you're lonely, and then get offended when people see it like that. Completely agree! OP, you added these people to your social media...your choice. Then you state you only post certain things bc of this or that reason. Well if you just stated to the people saying things, "I'm a little private & I don't like posting my whole life on social media"...that would take care of it. I think you're being a bit dramatic about it. Sounds like they care about your wellbeing & you're being defensive. If they didn't care, they wouldn't bring it up...or maybe deep down you're afraid there's some truth to it? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Clavel Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 That's a comforting thought lol, I can't just unfriend my family though if they started asking me about my lack of anything, using my social media as the barometer of how popular i am, i just lower my voice and say: "well, you know i don't put my private life on the internet, it's just not safe". "lotta weirdo stalker hackers out there and everyone should be careful". "i'm seeing lots of men and i am very active in my social life, if any of these men become "steady or serious" of course i will tell you first, in a private letter or a phone call. thanks so much for asking". (now go f off you nosy judgmental biddy) good luck Link to post Share on other sites
xyzisnotme Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Seriously, family members I see and talk to maybe once a year think they know everything about me and then start judging me. I have a family gathering coming up and some of these people I haven't seen or spoke to in years, but since they're friends with me on Facebook, they act like they know me or they assume my life is the same as last time I spoke to them years ago. Even when I saw these people last year half of them didn't even talk to me, so it's been more than a year since we spoke. I do post things to Facebook such as current events, charity events I volunteer for, festivals I go to or vacations I take. However, I rarely post anything about my job, dating, or personal life. Most of my photos on FB are of me alone at different events. Sometimes I'll post a picture with my parents and sister. I don't put anything about my relationship status on FB or post about dates because it's nobody business. I also don't post any pictures with friends because my friends and I don't really take pictures together, some don't use social media. As soon as I walk into this family gathering I get assumptions that I have no friends, don't date. I was chatting with my aunt last year and when I told her I went on a few dates with this guy she was shocked and almost fell out of her seat. My parent's attended a family wedding last year where I wasn't invited, they didn't invite extended family, but anyway they told other family members I was out with friends that night and it was like a commotion, they couldn't believe I was out friends. I am a 22 year old female, it's so insulting they think I don't date or have friends. Nobody asks me if I'm seeing anyone, just assume I'm not. It's insulting and ridiculous. The only people that really know my life are my parents, sister and close friends, so I just get fed up of these other family members acting like if it's not on FB or I don't call them and personally tell them something about my life it's not happening. I get really annoyed at these gatherings especially when these people start judging me, what should I do?? People aways assume. It's so annoying. People lack depth. Link to post Share on other sites
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