EA - Finally ready to share my story w/insights from counseling

[HadMeOverABarrel]

First thing...as I started typing this my eyes began to unexpectedly well up with tears. In my individual counseling session earlier today, same thing happened as I read something to my counselor written to me by another forum member, PinkSunset, on her own thread who said, "I was in your boat, and I did eventually sleep with him...Don't do it."

 

I asked my counselor, "Why does that make me cry?" She replied, "Because you know it's over." OM does not know it's over yet, but I suppose he will figure it out soon enough. I'm not strong enough yet to face him, and just doing all I can to guard myself against future contact for now. Guess that is why the tears are coming now, too...every step I take that aids me getting out brings up the tears of saying good-bye to one of the only men I've ever deeply loved.

 

The basics of my story are that I called his firm for legal advice, he was the one who answered the call, I was successful on what I was trying to achieve legally, he followed up and said, "We have to celebrate." After some weeks of communicating, via text mainly because he said he hates talking on the phone after he's been on the phone all day long (or was it because he was married but I didn't then know it?), it was apparent we'd be meeting soon so I did my customary check the guy out before we meet in public records for safety. That's how I learned he was married! The deed to his home said his name and "wife." I literally had to re-read that three times because I couldn't believe it. Up to that point, I was feeling like this is THE guy I've been holding out for twenty years! Even told a stranger that I think I found my guy. Couldn't believe "my guy" turned out to be married. I immediately confronted him by phone that night, he fessed up to everything, answered all of my questions, I felt he was very honest in his answers, he said he didn't think I would talk with him if he told me he was married (correct!), said he lived near his office during the week and went home on weekends, he said "I'm not unhappy in his marriage," I gave him a lecture on how wrong he was to risk hurting his family (one child remaining at home entering last year of high school), how my father's infidelity had so profoundly shaped my life, how seriously he could hurt his daughter, he said he didn't want to be sitting in a wheel chair one day wondering What if?, on and on.

 

He texted early the next morning apologizing, etc. Called me that afternoon saying he hoped he hadn't screwed anything up and kept asking why I had come into his life. We had a good non-emotional chat. I gave him more moral verbal whippings that day and the next (before I fell into the rabbit hole with him of course! ugh!). By the third day he texted me he doesn't like rules and maybe it would be better we forget everything. Then, the thought occurred to me that I might always wonder What if? myself because we did have this crazy, spiritual/physical/intellectual connection. So I told him let's still meet up and I would stop hammering him for his dishonesty. We met soon thereafter at a restaurant and the sparks were so crazy that our the wait staff kept giving us looks and smiling. That was early Sept 2015. We met up a couple more times in the following weeks. The last of the meetups during that time I had told him that I wouldn't sleep with him because he is married (and I wouldn't let him touch or see my breasts...nothing beyond kissing).

 

In late Oct 2015, he disappeared without warning. I caught up to him in person about 3 and 1/2 weeks later in early Nov 2015. He said he daughter "found something" and that he had to move back into his house full time. We were more physical than before touching each other in inappropriate places. From there communication resumed to what it was before until Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving Day he messaged me not to text or call over the weekend because things had blown up at home, but he gave me an email that I could use over the weekend. By Monday, I suggested we talk via a web messenger for a while, but he said we could email instead. I hated that idea the moment I read that! Nevertheless, that has been our primary communication ever since. What I've realized is he has practically all the power in email only--ignores what he doesn't want to respond to, gets back to me days later, I can't reach him outside of email (he'd usually ignore any of those attempts).

 

He was plenty warm through the holidays in his communications. By Jan 2016, his communication began to flag. Then, he disappeared again on me in Feb 2016 until I finally broke down and called him. He didn't answer call b/c was at work but texted. I texted back to call me after work, it's important. I was determined to get some kind of answer to his disappearance. He called that evening and said he'd been a coward (I'm not sure if he meant with me or with his wife??). We talked and he agreed to be more consistent in communication, which he has been since and apologized for any time his reply took longer than 4 days. Communication consisted of what's going on in our respective lives plus some strong sexual content. For a brief time we were writing each other poems back and forth (although his were mostly sexual while mine were at times sexual, emotional, or cute). I have tried many times since Feb 2016 to exit emotionally, but each time the pain of trying to escape outweighed the pain of staying in.

 

Meanwhile, beginning in Apr 2016, I began to wonder what this pen pal thing (with occasional calls and meetups) really meant to him. I know I put hours and hours of time thinking of him and writing him. I decided to see how he would handle my birthday in June to get some answers about his true feelings. I reminded him of my birthday the week leading up, and he totally blew it off! Not even a "Happy Birthday" typed in an email, which is really all I was looking for. For his birthday, I emailed him a Starbucks gift card to let him know I was thinking of him. I wrote a scathing email about it a couple days later--he responded accusing me of being quid pro quo!!! Wow! The balance of our "relationship" has been like 85% me and 15% him--hardly quid pro quo! I have peppered a couple more such emails (about why it's important to me, etc) in between our usual communications since. I think he has felt bad about my birthday (a little), but he has done nothing in all these months to make up for it. It's significant to me for personal reasons. Since my birthday, I have begun to slowly extricate myself emotionally once and for all...mainly because for me it is a sign post about how little he is willing to do despite hurting me. All this time, I have played 100% on his terms, he has reciprocated very little, but him injuring me without cause or remediation was too much. One thing that puzzles me is for the last couple months he has been saying that his head (the one behind his eyeballs) won't let him sleep with me because he can't give me everything in life. People, is that a BS line?

 

Fast forward to the last week and a half, he told me he was traveling to Europe for his daughter to start college there (I confirmed via Facebook on her page--first time I visited her page). He told me a week ago Sunday he'd be away for about two weeks. Something clicked in me that I was going to do what I needed to untangle myself from him while he is away...something about knowing the only way we can communicate would be email without any other possibilities got me in this mode. The college shows her classes starting this past Monday, Sep 26. I also checked wife's Facebook and noted her commenting something to a friend a couple weeks ago about Paris. Hmm...daughter starts classes Monday (not in France by the way). He'll still be away the whole week that his daughter will start classes. I'm assuming he and wifey are taking a [romantic] trip in week two (this week). So get daughter sorted during week one, mommy and daddy on European vacation in week two. Yep, that has driven home even more the need to break free. After all, a big premise for my justification for my role in this was that they were only co-inhabiting for daughter's sake and had a lukewarm friendship at best. Now not so sure about that...it is only fair to say that I'm making such assumption based on her statement to friend about wanting more info on Paris...but does it really matter? NO! By the way, even though he said we could email each other while he is traveling, I haven't heard from once since he left. I wish that didn't bother me, but it is ultimately for the better!

 

I spent all last week miserable in bed neglecting my business, my customers, and some very important court stuff with deadlines over this crap. I NEVER do that kind of thing. I always push through and get my business done...but right now I'm a train wreck. I wish I could put off getting over him for a couple of months but something in me is forcing me to do it now. Right now I'm in danger of getting sucked back in and am trying to get myself to some firm place before he returns and contacts me again in the next few days.

 

Here's what I've done and learned over the past week and a half (my new recovery journey) that I hope also helps others:

 

- 2 weekly no cost Celebrate Recovery group support meetings (find one in your area: Home)

- 1 AA 12 step meeting (I don't drink but I was so emotionally wrecked that I needed to go somewhere right then!)

- 2 individual counseling sessions

- Confessed my story to 3 women (2 from the support group and 1 friend) and asked they all hold me accountable.

- Read all I could find on any topic that popped into my mind about affairs, addictions, personality disorders, etc.

- Read the posts on this forum like mad (hugely helpful!!!!!).

- Gave into my tears, weakness, sleep randomly, mind wandering.

- Didn't push myself with other stressors even though I am getting into serious trouble by not getting things done.

 

Some wisdom I've learned so far in my short recovery journey:

 

- The pain is in the shame; the shame is in the secrets. There is power in truth and choice!!!

- From my counseling session today, my counselor advised I focus on the bigger picture. In other words, I may have fallen in love with MM for the qualities I've perceived in him, but the bigger picture is about what I've gained from the experience...now that I've learned the things I needed to learn, I can let MM go...along with realizing the love I perceived I was getting from MM (or whatever it is that keeps us hooked--counselor uses the sun as an analogy), realizing that can come from someone else or even ourselves, MM is not the only one who can provide that. Here's my specific example hoping someone can relate and use it for themselves...my dad was emotionally unavailable. MM is emotionally unavailable. I can re-frame my relationship with MM seeing it as an opportunity to heal my pain from my dad rather than fixating on trying to win MM's love, etc. Once I re-frame that in my mind, I should anchor the positive feelings to my healing rather than MM. (search emotional anchoring online)

- I don't really know MM. I only saw what he wanted to show me. He could have 10 OW's that I don't know about it. He could be a narcissist or other dangerous personality disorder. He could have an std or venereal disease. None of that is as important as the fact that he is married, chooses to stay in his marriage, has made it abundantly clear that he won't be leaving his marriage, and as things stand there is no future here for me (despite if he is so amazing that fireworks shoot out of his a$$). I'm 40 and want a family. I am losing precious time on a 59 year old man who I doubt would ever give that to me.

- it's almost cliche to say, but yeah, I deserve better! Waaaaaaayyyy better!!! and if he were to miraculously become available, he would need to [be willing to] do the hard yards to heal from his 30 years M and figure out what's broken inside him before entering into a healthy relationship. Then, we'd have to date to see if we are truly compatible outside of A. This is all assuming he'd want a relationship after exiting a 30 years M. -OR- I could just meet someone who is ready now to give me the love and life I want. No brainer...now to just get my heart 100% on board with that!

 

In closing this post, comments welcome! I really need the feedback!! I believe I've come a long way these last few days but I'm still very much in danger of back sliding. I'm still having crazy thoughts like we can be friends if we don't hide it, maybe he will divorce now that his last child has left (but he's said he wouldn't), etc. Really, one phone call from him right now, or even an email, and I could be back at square one. One real danger is that he could call from his law firm and I would answer thinking it's someone else calling about my legal case. I'm counting on the AMAZING PEOPLE on this forum to help me get through this, pleeeeeeaaase!!!

 

Wishing everyone love and success on your journeys!

 

A couple songs to help us out:

 

[Adoraxx]

Hi HadMeOverABarrel!

 

Welcome to LS . Of course I wish you wouldn't need to be reading/ writing any posts here!!

 

You wrote:

One thing that puzzles me is for the last couple months he has been saying that his head (the one behind his eyeballs) won't let him sleep with me because he can't give me everything in life. People, is that a BS line?

 

It reminded me of when my xMM said in one of his 'I-want-to-disappear-but-I-cannot-disappear-because-you-always-come-and-ask-your-crazy-questions!' phases (just like when you texted him to call you because it's IMPORTANT). He said: "I have to follow my head now instead of my d@ck." What a nice comment.......... NOT!

 

Anyway, I think it often has a lot to do with CONTROL! Your xMM probably likes it too that he has so much control over you. I think some proof about that is also in the fact that he was the one who controlled the way(s) of contact, in your case: EMAILS only.

 

He sounds like a pro to me after reading how he contacted you and all that stupid 'we need to celebrate' stuff. I'm pretty sure that he had OW before you/ during 'you' etc. Did you ever ask him? (not that you would get a truthful answer but I'm just curious if you ever asked...) My xMM told me about two former OW's out of his own initiation but I think he was worried that his W might let it slip (I know her too, they're my neighbors). I wasn't allowed to ask more questions about it though and if I did, I got slammed with "you're accusing me!!!! Stop dredging up the past!!!" or whatever comment he could come up with to make me shut up...

 

After reading your post, I really hope you'll stay far far far away from him! Can you let someone else pick up the phone if the law firm calls? Or you could let it go to voicemail to see what they have to say? You're still young and please don't waste any more of your time on this creep!!! He'll want to keep this going as long as possible... reappearing/ disappearing/ reappearing/ disappearing... and yes, I also think he is on honeymoon number 20 (or whatever) with W. You did some good PI work on that

 

I liked what you said about "I don't really know him". My A began 8.5 years ago and recently I looked at a pic of him where he was hugging his W and I thought "he is like a stranger to me" which is a scary thought in itself.

 

Hugs!!

[HadMeOverABarrel]

Adoraxx, thank you very much for your reply. I read it within hours of you posting it but this is first chance I've had to reply. Yesterday was long, busy work day with customers all day long and I pretty much collapsed in exhaustion after that and slept a loooong sleep. I'm happy to say I didn't wake this morning with the dreadful pain in my heart I've been feeling, so hooray! Progress!

 

To answer your question about OW before me, I asked him that the night I confronted him. He responded 2-3 that didn't go very far (I call bs on that looking back).

 

I'm still having crazy thoughts like we can be friends. Hope those go away by the weekend.

 

My plan...would like some thoughts on it...I believe he will email me within a few days of his return from Europe. He'll be back this weekend. I put an auto-responder on the email I use saying the email adding has been disabled (lol!). Then, I expect he will reach out again...maybe try another email to see if he gets disabled account message again or he'll go straight for text. In any case, I'll ignore all written contact attempts. From there, he will either give up (for the time being) or call. If call, I'll ignore call. If call again, I'll answer and speak casually like i would any other friend and cut the call short. Frankly I would like to torture him a little if I maintain my strength. I'm determined to make him ask what's going on (like the jerk made me feel for so long). Don't know what I'd say at this point but that's what I have so far. My next IC is Wednesday so I should be able to figure it out soon.

 

Everyone, please support. Don't know how strong or prepared I sound, but I have some very weak moments that will put me back at square one. I appreciate all the support I can get!!!!

[Midwestmissy]

As is often said here, the person who cares the least has the most power. Try looking up grey rock behavior - it's very helpful for dealing with manipulators. I wouldn't respond with anything but silence. That's the power.

[HadMeOverABarrel]

I'd also like to hear from xMM about how they truly think/feel about their OWs so I have no delusions about how my MM perceives me. Don't hold back...the truth may be painful, but the truth sets us free!

[carhill]

Welcome to LS and, to answer your question, my particular brand of love was very long-lived, over decades of intermittent contact, and sincere. Once I got the message our styles of loving were markedly different, it was, especially with some good MC, easier to finish business and move on. However, I didn't move on from the group therapy LS provided back in those days so am still here

 

I remember my last contact with the lady in my story after we flew home from visiting her daughter and grandchildren. In baggage claim I gave her a sincere hug, told her I loved her, turned, walked away and never had contact with her again. MC had taught me that it's OK to love someone and let them go. I did the same with my wife. Embrace the real and accept it.

 

Good luck with the counseling. Our psych helped me a lot.

[HadMeOverABarrel]

Thank you Carhill! These message boards have been a godsend!

[HadMeOverABarrel]

Adoraxx, something I wanted to add after reading your response...the first weird, red flag comment he made to me about a year ago...we were sitting in my car after meeting up for coffee (2nd face to face meeting). He said, "You're going to marry someone else while you're seeing me." Guess he had it all planned out from the beginning. It was an odd, out-of-the-blue comment because I'd not discussed anything of the like with him. He also said in that conversion that he didn't want to rock the boat in regard to his home life. :/

[Poppy47]

Welcome to LS and, to answer your question, my particular brand of love was very long-lived, over decades of intermittent contact, and sincere. Once I got the message our styles of loving were markedly different, it was, especially with some good MC, easier to finish business and move on. However, I didn't move on from the group therapy LS provided back in those days so am still here

 

I remember my last contact with the lady in my story after we flew home from visiting her daughter and grandchildren. In baggage claim I gave her a sincere hug, told her I loved her, turned, walked away and never had contact with her again. MC had taught me that it's OK to love someone and let them go. I did the same with my wife. Embrace the real and accept it.

 

Good luck with the counseling. Our psych helped me a lot.

 

Great advice as usual Carhill. Barrel, read some more of his posts.. pure gold.

 

Poppy

[Adoraxx]

Adoraxx, something I wanted to add after reading your response...the first weird, red flag comment he made to me about a year ago...we were sitting in my car after meeting up for coffee (2nd face to face meeting). He said, "You're going to marry someone else while you're seeing me." Guess he had it all planned out from the beginning. It was an odd, out-of-the-blue comment because I'd not discussed anything of the like with him. He also said in that conversion that he didn't want to rock the boat in regard to his home life. :/

 

ugh what an arrogant man!! He truly seemed to think that you would continue with him forever!!!!!

[starswewillnavigate]

KC - The not sleeping with you because he can't give you everything in life... definitely control. My xMM said he wouldn't sleep with me again because he felt guilty. That didn't stop him from carrying on chatting to me or going on a dating website everyday!

 

Hi HadMeOverABarrel!

Anyway, I think it often has a lot to do with CONTROL! Your xMM probably likes it too that he has so much control over you. I think some proof about that is also in the fact that he was the one who controlled the way(s) of contact, in your case: EMAILS only.

 

YES! I didn't realise my xMM was the controlling type (he's so laid back and easy going in person it's unbelievable, that's why I loved spending time with him) but he must be to juggle his OW (I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one). Initially he would be on the chat app we used to communicate all the time and I mean we chatted ALL the time. Then he started limiting that to only a few messages a day or deleting it for days at a time. Is it a conscious control thing? I don't know. It's pretty rubbish either way.

 

Anyway, KC, it sounds like you are doing all the right things! I'm interested in hearing your therapy journey. I started with a new therapist recently because I couldn't admit to my old therapist that the guy I had been seeing, and was emotionally wrecked about when he dumped me, was in fact married. No wonder I wasn't getting anywhere The new therapist is very good with addictions, she got xMM in a nutshell, things that I had been blind to.

[HadMeOverABarrel]

Stars, thank you for your reply. I agree...lots of control and that's crossed my mind at times throughout. I'll keep you and all updated on therapy journey! Giving back here makes me feel good and hopefully will help me stay on track!

 

Update for everyone:

MM emailed me overnight Friday upon his return from Europe apologizing for not contacting me for 12 days (longest he's gone since February). 1st part of email was about him feeling depressed about leaving daughter at college even though daughter very happy. It took strength not to contact to cheer him up (I do admire how he gave his daughter her dream education). I kept reminding myself that he's a grown man who can take care of himself, it's his wife's job to comfort him (not mine), if I step into her role on that I'm enabling the dysfunction in their relationship, and I have plenty plenty to take care of and clean up on my own side of the street without fixing his issues (the same guy that over three months later still hasn't made up for blowing off my birthday!). So I've not responded and don't plan to. I'm getting stronger by the day with keeping NC.

 

2nd part of email was sexual ending with this little gem, "Fantasizing f*cking u in front of my wife so she can see how it's really done., Just a fantasy, sorry, but I really like sharing with u whats in my mind." Hmm, pretty loaded comment. I have my own thoughts on it, but I really want to hear what you all see and hear in that quoted sentence...as a reality check for me! There was a time when he told me regularly how grateful he was that I came into his life, but the comment above? Riddled with debauchery.

 

Meanwhile, I'm curious to see when his next contact will be. I put the auto-responder on my email saying my email has been suspended so I wonder how that will go with him. I'll keep you posted and much appreciate the continued support!

[Patrice]

Please, stay in NC.

Edited October 2, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language

[HadMeOverABarrel]

What will it take to stop the obsessive thoughts (like trying to sort out what was real verses total bull)?...at least long enough for me to put my energy into my neglected responsibilities? **sigh** Any tips, people?

[carhill]

Block his contacts and/or change your contact information - e-mail, phone, etc.

[Adoraxx]

What will it take to stop the obsessive thoughts (like trying to sort out what was real verses total bull)?...at least long enough for me to put my energy into my neglected responsibilities? **sigh** Any tips, people?

 

You could start writing it all down....... Write down everything that happened and keep adding to it. At least that way it will get 'out' on paper and it won't stay stuck inside of your head.

 

Also, that's ridiculous what he wrote about being depressed because of his daughter going to college. Apparently he is trying the pity play on you just so you'll forgive him for ignoring you for 12 days. (Google pity play)

 

And him wanting to f you in front of W?? No words for that.... I think he wants to hurt both of you while he comes out as the 'winner'

[spideywoman]

2nd part of email was sexual ending with this little gem, "Fantasizing f*cking u in front of my wife so she can see how it's really done., Just a fantasy, sorry, but I really like sharing with u whats in my mind." Hmm, pretty loaded comment. I have my own thoughts on it, but I really want to hear what you all see and hear in that quoted sentence...as a reality check for me! There was a time when he told me regularly how grateful he was that I came into his life, but the comment above? Riddled with debauchery.

 

OH. MY. LORD. I haven't even finished reading the rest of the thread but just had to respond to this. Good grief. How lewd, how crass, how vile. I didn't like the sound of him anyway but this is just too much. Hang in there girlfriend. Run from this guy as far away as you can.

[HadMeOverABarrel]

Have not posted for a few days because nothing too much to say. I have remained NC. MM hasn't tried to reach out since his one email he wrote overnight Friday upon his return from Europe. I don't have any urge to contact, but very much feeling the sting that he hasn't tried again either...especially because no dday or any talk about ending things. I just went NC out-of-the-blue and am surprised he hasn't sent a follow up email or text...nada. So after a year of regular ongoing contact, this is what I get? My last communication to him was almost three weeks ago. Don't you think he'd be concerned that I'm ok? We're in Florida and just went through a hurricane...I thought he might reach out to check on me, but nope! Even a guy who I rarely talk with who lives out of state texted me to check on me, but MM not a peep. On one hand, I believe it's better for me that he's not trying to connect. But, is this an indicator of how very little he cares about me after a whole year and countless hours I've given him? Am I delusional? It hurts all over again!

[carhill]

Pretty normal stuff. IMO, healing will proceed more speedily if all contact methods are severed so there's no ambiguity.

[HadMeOverABarrel]

Pretty normal stuff. IMO, healing will proceed more speedily if all contact methods are severed so there's no ambiguity.

 

Thank you. Carhill, for your quick reply. Just surprised he hasn't checked on me as I've always responded to him (usually same day but never more than four days). Now that I haven't contacted him in three weeks, I would think he would've reached out somehow again within the week. I mean after more than one year of ongoing whatever with a lady, certainly a man who cares would not let so much time pass, right? Does this mean I'm about as significant to him as a piece of dirty chewing gum stuck to the bottom of an old shoe? Wow all my time and energy for this...burns!

[Birdies]

What will it take to stop the obsessive thoughts (like trying to sort out what was real verses total bull)?...at least long enough for me to put my energy into my neglected responsibilities? **sigh** Any tips, people?

 

BLOCK HIM. What it will take is to STOP communicating with him all together. The longer you communicate with him or even have the possibility of it, the longer the obsessive thoughts / actions will drag on and on and on. And where will you end up? In exactly the same place as you are now, but just with a ton more of your life wasted first. BLOCK HIM. Sorry you're going through this

[HadMeOverABarrel]

You could start writing it all down....... Write down everything that happened and keep adding to it. At least that way it will get 'out' on paper and it won't stay stuck inside of your head.

 

Also, that's ridiculous what he wrote about being depressed because of his daughter going to college. Apparently he is trying the pity play on you just so you'll forgive him for ignoring you for 12 days. (Google pity play)

 

And him wanting to f you in front of W?? No words for that.... I think he wants to hurt both of you while he comes out as the 'winner'

 

Adoraxx,

I googled pity play earlier this week...very helpful. Thought it was so insightful I shared it with my Monday night group. Thank you.

[Adoraxx]

Have not posted for a few days because nothing too much to say. I have remained NC. MM hasn't tried to reach out since his one email he wrote overnight Friday upon his return from Europe. I don't have any urge to contact, but very much feeling the sting that he hasn't tried again either...especially because no dday or any talk about ending things. I just went NC out-of-the-blue and am surprised he hasn't sent a follow up email or text...nada. So after a year of regular ongoing contact, this is what I get? My last communication to him was almost three weeks ago. Don't you think he'd be concerned that I'm ok? We're in Florida and just went through a hurricane...I thought he might reach out to check on me, but nope! Even a guy who I rarely talk with who lives out of state texted me to check on me, but MM not a peep. On one hand, I believe it's better for me that he's not trying to connect. But, is this an indicator of how very little he cares about me after a whole year and countless hours I've given him? Am I delusional? It hurts all over again!

 

I truly believe that this is a indicator of how little he cares about you... and the same goes for me and my xMM!! Yes, you would think that someone who cares about you at least a little, would contact you to ask how you're doing and to see if you're in a safe place!!! It's really sad when you realize that he never loved you and that he only always pretended to....

 

Hugs

[oldshirt]

What will it take to stop the obsessive thoughts (like trying to sort out what was real verses total bull)?...at least long enough for me to put my energy into my neglected responsibilities? **sigh** Any tips, people?

 

This one is easy and it comes from Chumplady -

 

Trust that he sucks.

[Ruffian1]

I'm enabling the dysfunction in their relationship,

 

You don't know the truth about their relationship, only what he has told you. And all MM say they are "unhappy" with their marriage.

 

That comment about Fing you in front of W so she could see how it was done?

 

I thought you didn't sleep with him yet? How does he know how you F&*k?

 

He is planting a thought into your mind, wanting you to go "there" and prove him right, you know how to F*@k better than her.

What a class act.

 

Run, Forrest, Run.