Methodical Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 I understand what you are saying about stealing women away from other men conceptually, but unless you kidnapped, blackmailed, or used some other nefarious means to lure them away, then they willingly left their relationship to pursue another interest. And, at the time, that happened to be you. Most ppl in healthy, happy relationships can't be stolen. They leave of their own volition. Maybe they were bored or unhappy with their current relationship; maybe temptation and their own lust caused them to end the relationship. You may be (or were ) a casanova, and even if that were the case, the women you wooed into your snare came willingly . That said, you may have been a temptation for them, but ultimately they made that decision, not you. And had it not been you, they would have likely left as soon an another temptation entered their life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 I do feel like a bad person though that I did not put myself in the position of the other guy and think about how I would feel if I were them. I have been in that position, being the other guy, but I must say that I blame my ex more for allowing him to come closer than I blame him for trying. Thanks for the update and I'll offer up one old guy tip: Respect your own boundaries and decline to castigate yourself at the altar of the billions and their feelings. Your girlfriend is an intimate and worthy of additional empathy and care; she has earned it through love, care and empathy of her own. Strangers, don't worry about it. Trust me, they don't care whether you live or die. That's not cruel, rather life and, as so often repeated on these forums, life isn't always fair or kind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kelley Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 Well you could say my boyfriend was stolen from me by another woman, but if he was worth his salt, he wouldn't have been up for being stolen! To me, both are on the same level. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted October 4, 2016 Share Posted October 4, 2016 Having someone who you're dating being stolen away is a blessing, and you should see it as such, For if they were stolen that easily, then all you can really say is "Thank you very much." Saves the awkward meetup afterward only to hear "sorry, it's not really working out", Let them go be happy with each other, you'll find another without a doubt! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ManyDissapoint Posted October 5, 2016 Share Posted October 5, 2016 Nothing wrong with starting a relationship with someone who wants to be with you. Don't do it with the SO of your frienda though. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 5, 2016 Share Posted October 5, 2016 ken8156, Well you really put your clog in it here didn't you, by telling your GF that you "stole" two girls ? I'm not too sure what you can do in the form of "damage control" now As others have said, no-one can be "stolen" that doesn't want to be taken. However, your GF will probably be feeling a bit insecure now and will probably be hyper-vigilant. I'd dump you, because it says a lot about your selfishness, but that's just me 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted October 5, 2016 Share Posted October 5, 2016 You and these girls were not married or engaged. There was no stealing. If you did not date or have physical relationships with these girls while they were still committed to their boyfriends then there was no stealing or cheating. All dating exclusive means that one will not date others while committed to be exclusive with the current BF/GF. Note the word current. Current implies now, for the moment. Committing to be exclusive does not mean or imply that you will marry your current BF/GF. Dating is the job interview for marriage. It is trying each other out. Not a commitment to marry. Any time during this dating/interview if one of the two feel that it is time to end the relationship and go to another is not cheating provided they dump their current BF/GF before dating the new love interest. People flirt. Flirting is fun, interacting is fun, helps the time to pass specially when bored, not busy, stress release. So when a single person meets another and after chatting and flirting, whether once or a dozen times they realize that this new person is a better fit then their current BF/GF. That is not cheating or stealing. As long as they dump their current BF/GF first before they go on that first date with the new BF/GF. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 5, 2016 Share Posted October 5, 2016 road, Yes, this is the kicker - As long as they dump their current BF/GF first before they go on that first date with the new BF/GF. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 You guys should NOT be comparing who's past mistake is worse. Terrible, drop it immediately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 If you knew these women were taken then I agree it's as bad as cheating. If they lied or you didn't know then probably not. In relationships I've had men indicate they were interested in me if I ever was single again. That is different IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Clockwork Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 You as a guy know this saying I am sure, but you never take another man's rhubarb. Sorry, it is just off limits. I'm sorry, that is just a horrible way to start a relationship. This might be why they both ended for you. If you weren't honest at the beginning it is very hard to stay together. Look, I did things before I met my wife that I knew I might have to explain someday along the lines of skeletons in my closet. She was cool with them just like I was because I claimed responsibility. Your tone shows you don't seem terribly sorry about doing what you did. Link to post Share on other sites
Joga_31 Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 Hi all, Yesterday I had an argument with my current gf. We are together for 8 months now and it's the best thing that ever happened to me. But then yesterday I told her that the two girls I was with before her, I stole from someone else. She said she could not believe I am that kind of guy and that it is as bad as cheating (which she once did before she knew me btw). Am I wrong or is she completely exaggerating? I know that what I did is not the good thing to do and in retrospect I shouldn't have done it, especially not after the first time. But then again, the second time the girl actually started the whole thing and I just wasn't able to say no to her. So surely, this isn't as bad as cheating? And secondly, should I be worried she thinks it is? whether it is bad or not, I feel like it was something that is in the past. You two have opened up a new chapter in your lives and should enjoy it, what ever she did or you did, should be left in the past. It was before you met her and before she met you. As long as you are faithful to her and treat her well and the relationship is growing then that is all that matters. We all make mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 Dude, you were cheating with those girls. You got them to emotionally cheat with you. You got them to become emotionally involved with you to the point that they placed more of a value on you than their current relationships. They became so emotionally invested in you that they gave up on their relationships. You, sir. You were cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
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