QuietBoy Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Here's a brief summary of my situation: I'm usually a shy/quiet guy but when I drink I become un-quiet, which I guess can be a good thing. Well..last Thursday night I got drunk and asked this girl for her number and she gave it to me. I told her I would call her the next night but I did not. My crew and her crew have been hanging out for a few good months now so we kinda knew each other. She was drunk too so I thought she probably would have forgotten that I asked her. Well on the 4th of July, our crews chilled again and I talked and chilled with her for a good amount of the day. So this was Monday now and I still haven't called her since I got her number. We didn't bring it up the whole time. So she leaves before I do...I knew she was drunk so I called her to make sure she got home ok and she did. But during that phone call, she mention that I was suppose to call her the next night but didnt. I told her sorry and she said it's ok and told me she would save my number. Well now it's Thursday and we haven't talked since that Monday. I haven't called her..she hasn't called me..it has been 3 days... what sign does this point out that she hasn't called me? does it mean she's not interested in me? Because I'm definately into her. Should I make the move and just call her? Well I need your opinions please! Sorry to bore you with my summary! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 She seems interested to me, but she called you out on not doing what you said you would which was to call her at a specified time.. so IMO she may feel that you're not that into her and she doesn't want to put herself out there no more than you do when she feels uncertain of your interest. I say call her Link to post Share on other sites
SassyBug Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Call her! You'll feel better! Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietBoy Posted July 8, 2005 Author Share Posted July 8, 2005 Yea I know I'll feel better if I did call her no matter what the results are. I guess I'm just afraid and shy of what will happen if it doesn't go the way I hope for. But I did give her a sign that I was intrested since I did call her to see if she got home ok..and she also did call me out that I didn't call her. so many questions..haha i'm just stressing and confusing myself even more. Plus, I'm afraid of not knowing what to say on the phone or in person if we do hang out just us two. I will have to be sober...yikes. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by QuietBoy Yea I know I'll feel better if I did call her no matter what the results are. I guess I'm just afraid and shy of what will happen if it doesn't go the way I hope for. But I did give her a sign that I was intrested since I did call her to see if she got home ok..and she also did call me out that I didn't call her. so many questions..haha i'm just stressing and confusing myself even more. Plus, I'm afraid of not knowing what to say on the phone or in person if we do hang out just us two. I will have to be sober...yikes. You'll do just fine. When you call her ask her what she's been up to, how she's been.. whats new.. BEFORE you call her have in mind something you could invite her to do with you possibley this weekend.. concert, movie, lunch.. whatever.. When you're uncertain of what to say, ask her questions about herself... people love to talk about themselves and can go on and on forever about thier favourite subject LOL Good Luck, no go call her Link to post Share on other sites
SassyBug Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 CALL HER HUNNY PLEASE! don't be shy don't be afraid to talk without the booze she probably is wondering if you really DO like her women can be funny I myself am not calling my love interest 'cause he's acting stand offish and he didn't call me when he said he would (but that's me I'm also interested in someone else too so its a little different situation) women do that-they don't want to be disrespected so just be respectful and invite her out for coffee or something like that and when you see her give a little flower or something sweet like that YOU CAN DO IT! PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL we're rootin' for ya Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietBoy Posted July 8, 2005 Author Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by SassyBug YOU CAN DO IT! PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL we're rootin' for ya haha thanks you guys.. i'll give you a quick update though: i haven't called her yet...hehe..it was already late so MOST LIKELY I'll call her tomorrow (Friday). I don't know about the flower thing though..I've done that in the past and it sometimes didn't go well. It shows that I'm too nice or that I really do like her...and like some girls (not all) in my area take advantage of knowing that and play games. It happened to me a few times, so I've learned from it and don't want to go that route again eventhough it shows the good side of me. I do want to take her out, but I don't think I could take her out for a meal just yet. Reason is I'm not sure if I can hold a conversation for a whole meal..plus i usually need to go to the bathroom after a meal if you know what I mean..and that wouldn't be a good first impression on a first date. I wouldn't mind taking her to a movie but then again you can't talk much in the theraters and I do wanna atleast talk. See I'm giving you guys two sides..I just need to gain a little more confidence in my communicating skills. I'll keep you guys posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietBoy Posted July 8, 2005 Author Share Posted July 8, 2005 Oh yea...and I haven't been on a date for like 3..4 years now so I'm pretty nervous. I kinda feel like this is my first time and I don't know what to do. I'm a rookie again..not used to the dating game Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Yeah man, you dropped the ball when you didn't call her when you said you would. It's not a big deal, but she's not calling you now because she wants to see if you'll pull through. You definitely need to pick up the phone and call her up. If not tonight then tomorrow. Also, if you're nervous about the phone call, just have a couple shots beforehand. I know that's not very conventional advice, and definitely don't get bombed before calling her up, but a little confidence juice might keep you from freezing up verbally. Be the bear, man... (if you've seen Swingers) Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by QuietBoy Reason is I'm not sure if I can hold a conversation for a whole meal.. You would be surprised at how easy conversation can be. My first post divorce lunch with a woman, turned out to be 5 hours long with non-stop conversing. Would have been longer but she had to go pick her daughter up after school. Ask about her, her interests, let things flow. But first you got to call her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietBoy Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 Well I called her the other day and we talked for a few minutes. I ended the call though because I ran out of things to say..plus she was working anyways...But I realize that I don't think I'm her type anyways and just other things standing in the way. So I don't think I will be calling her again anytime soon, unless she calls me which I doubt she will. But she did end the phone call by telling me to call her again if I wanted to. So what does this mean now? I don't know..I have mix feelings if I want to go for it or not. I feel if I did try then I would be setting myself up for diaster. Link to post Share on other sites
bebegal Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 she may be interested, why dont you ask her to hang out if she says no, you will know right away. Is emailing easier..? get her email and ask her that way..if a girl is not interested..she will not say yes to a one on one date... ask her to dinner. GIve it one more try..do not give up that easily. Let us know what happens Now:: read my post I need a guys opinon. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 But she did end the phone call by telling me to call her again if I wanted to. My take on it is, you've goofed a little bit here and there, but usually, if a girl tells you straight up that she wants you to call her, then that's usually a pretty good sign. I say "usually" because it depends on the circumstances. If you asked her point blank if it's okay to call, and then she said "Sure, call", then it's possible she's just humoring you. But if she herself said it without any prompting, I'd almost say for certain that you're at least in play. Doesn't mean you'll score, but you've got a shot if that's the case. But now I've a few pieces of advice: 1) No more idle chat on the phone. Use the phone to set up a rendezvous and nothing else. It's much better if a girl can see your face when you're having a meaningful conversation with you. It's much better if you can smile and look into her eyes - and dude, please, make sure you only look into her eyes and no other part of her body. You'll give yourself away otherwise. 2) About conversations, a simple rule of thumb is to keep her talking about herself. Keep asking her questions about herself, and then use that to keep asking more questions about herself. If she wants to know about you, she'll ask - don't volunteer a lot about yourself, let her start getting curious. It's really not that difficult, just keep asking her question after question, follow up questions and so on. 3) You've got to start separating her from the pack. You need some one on one with her. Invite her out for coffee or something, or perhaps something you can do together like a walk in the park etc. If she turns you away at any turn (i.e. I'm really busy, let me call you back...) accept that you're done and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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