Angelina1433 Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 So, there is this man that I'm wild about - that I work with. I know that he's into me too, no doubt. There's lots of sexual tension and we flirt -overtly- constantly. I try not to be too obvious or too "available" so I don't walk by his cubicle or just stop by to chat. Don't want to be that stalker girl. We only talk by chance when we're not working. But it's there. Touching by accident, smiling, eye contact, gifts because I knew you'd like it, etc. The problem is - I don't know if he likes me or if he's just being nice! I'm dying over here. Is it because we work together. If he just said "wanna go for drinks", I'd probalby say "I thought you'd never ask." Any suggestions? What should I do to let him know that I'm definately interested? Link to post Share on other sites
SassyBug Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Tell him you like him. He might be relieved, sounds like he likes you too but he might be too shy to ask you out or make the first move. I say GO FOR IT But don't get nervous, I know he excites you but just ask him out for a drink and see what he says you've nothing to lose! Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Why can't you ask him if he'd like to go have drinks or coffee' IME People don't knock themselves out in getting gifts just because, getting all touchy (by accident ha!), smiling a lot and talking just to be "nice" they do those things because they're interested and flirting Ask him out for coffee' or lunch Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina1433 Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Sassybug, thanks for your reply! I'm too dang shy to ask him out. If he says no, I'll be mortified. Not to mention I'll have to see him every day. And I'm no teenager - I'm in my early 30's. So I have a real job and can't just quit out of humiliation...How can I make it sound casual without being the "agressor"? He's driving me insane. Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina1433 Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Same question and kudos to you, M. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by Angelina1433 Sassybug, thanks for your reply! I'm too dang shy to ask him out. If he says no, I'll be mortified. Not to mention I'll have to see him every day. And I'm no teenager - I'm in my early 30's. So I have a real job and can't just quit out of humiliation...How can I make it sound casual without being the "agressor"? He's driving me insane. First are you certain he doesn't have a GF or Wife there is 411 you need to have before you ask.. Second if you find out he is single, then good to go.. the worst he could say is no (but I don't think he will say no) and even if he did (he won't) then you don't have to make a big deal over it.. Since you've got him a few small gifts that you thought he might like says you obviously are learning things about him such as what he likes or dislikes.. so if you know what his favourite food is then perhaps find an amazing place to eat that perhaps he hasn't been to and ask him if he'd like to check it out with you.. You can do this! Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina1433 Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Merin - you are great, thanks for the confidence. I heard through the grapevine that he has an on again off again GF in another state, about 7 hours away. How do I find that out without being too obvious? I feel like a huge dork. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by Angelina1433 Merin - you are great, thanks for the confidence. I heard through the grapevine that he has an on again off again GF in another state, about 7 hours away. How do I find that out without being too obvious? I feel like a huge dork. Nah you're not a dork (not that theres anything wrong with that!) If this is an on again/off again GF in another State, there isn't any photos of her on his desk and he hasn't mentioned anything about it would indicate to me that even if he see's her now and then it isn't a serious relationship.. but just to be sure you could always ask him "Any plans with your GF this weekend?" then if he says he doesn't have a GF you jump on his back, say who's ya damn daddy and shout Whoo! several times! JK JK JK! If he says he doesn't have a GF then be cool about it.. just say Oh for some reason I thought you did, smile and let it go.. then you've set it up that you can ask him in the next few days to join you for lunch or coffee'.. I still recommend lunch at some place cool... but if he says he does have a GF or make reference to her then you're still good to go, you haven't put anything out there... Go for it sista! Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina1433 Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 You're funny. He definatley does not have any photos of her on his desk, and he never mentions her to me or anyone I talk to. I'm going to try to make something happen tomorrow. All of these feelings between us are just boiling up, you know? One time he asked me if I had seen this band. I said no. He said he'd see them again live, for sure. I feel like he was fishing for me to say "let's go", but I freaked out and was silent. I'm going to go for it. Thanks for your advice. I'll post back. In the meantime, any other words of wisdom are much appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
SassyBug Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Dear Angelina: Don't worry about the GF 7 hours away. If he's serious with her, he will let you know once you take the chance just from my own perspective, I have an off again on again I don't know what kinda BF 4 hours away. (maybe thats his situation too...?) If someone I liked (AND I KNOW HE LIKES YOU I CAN TELL FROM WHAT YOU'VE SHARED) asked me out, i'd go don't be afraid to take a chance you don't have to be all serious just like was suggested, out for coffee or something that's harmless and he'll get the idea I know how you feel, you have chemistry with him and its driving you crazy I've been there Just be yourself and don't worry about anything try to be calm and relaxed maybe do something nice and nurturing for yourself first, like get a massage, a manicure, or a new outfit or something to boost your confidence and feel like you are LOVED by YOU first and then you'll feel more confident and sexy and know that he'll be the LUCKY ONE that you like him good luck to you!!!! rootin' for ya Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina1433 Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 OK, so all day long I was mustering up the courage to casually ask him out - or get him to ask me out. But he wasn't there. He went away on business until Monday, according to his sec'y. I never saw him at all. I never emailed him or called, of course. I did nothing. Even though we have emailed eachother about personal stuff before. And my gawd, do we flirt! If he hasn't asked me out by now, is he just doing it for fun or ego? But he doesn't flirt with anyone else, as far as I can see. He acts "differently" with me. I feel stupid...again. I don't get it - men flirt with me ALL the time and ask me out, but I'm not interested in anyone but him. I wonder if it's just the challenge sometimes. But then again, I don't think so. From the moment I saw him (1 year ago) I was interested. Sad, but true. Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Hey! I`m a shy guy and do what women have done to me to get me in gear. Just tell him to give you a call some time. Take a piece of paper and write down your phone number and give it to him. If he cannot handle it from there forget about him. I do not recommend you ask him first. But there is nothing but the rules (you know- the book) that says you can`t do that. but if a guy can`t at least phone you up after you have give him the green light then he is just not that into you. Or whatever you gals say. Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina1433 Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Neptune! I'm glad that a guy has replied to my pathetic entries. I wonder, how old are you? I wonder if he would think that just sliding him my phone number would be an immature thing to do, or confident. BTW, this is a really grand idea! Then I wouldn't have to say a thing...Hmmm... And I wonder when you say, "I do not recommend that you ask him first", what do you mean? Ask if he'll call? Link to post Share on other sites
Neptune Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Angelina 1433, I`m glad anytime a gal is interested in anything I have to say. My age is 50ish. When I say to not ask him first that means directly asking him to get together. Leave that to him. Also, giving him your number should be something you do in actual conversation with him. The point is that often gals are a little to subtle with communicating their interest in a guy. She thinks he percieves that she`s interested but he really just didn`t get it. Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina1433 Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 I think you are right, Neptune. Especially since it seems that he has tried to guage my interest a few times, and I respond by silence because I'm so nervous. So, the next time I talk to him, I'll really try harder. It's difficult though because we never have time during work to talk casually. We'll see what happens. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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