MoonshineGirl1990 Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 About 5 to 6 years ago, I kind of snapped and started sleeping around, a lot. Blues: Prior to when you started cheating, was it a constant struggle or hard to NOT cheat? You say something "snapped". I guess Im just curious, what is the mindset of the average dude in a marrage who doesnt cheat, in terms of temptations, other woman, etc? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 OK Rockflower, I guess OP is gone for now. So here is the short version. Wife was a drug addict for 20 years. It was a hidden addiction so I just found out about it about 2 1/2 years ago. I just thought the was actually crazy for the most part up until then. About 5 to 6 years ago, I kind of snapped and started sleeping around, a lot. She got sober as I was fixing to divorce her about 19 months ago. She asked for another chance to fix the marriage and see if it could work. So how is that... I swear, that's going to be me. I should divorce but keep trying to avoid it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 MoonshineGirl1990 - For me it was the sex or lack there of, when her addiction got so bad that it was not happening. Until then it was still pretty good. Also, just the general stress of what was going on was enough to make anyone crazy. But, lack of sex will cause most men to cheat. dot - If he is still screwing around, continues to be abusive or starts drinking again, you should divorce. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
eye of the storm Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 Rockflower, when I first came on here, I was in denial about how "like everyone else" I was. I was in denial about how my A was. I was in denial. I got raked over the coals. Some posters were kind, some were cruel, most were matter of fact. Matter of fact that I had my head in the sand and was an idiot. Each and every one of them was right. I was lying to myself. I didn't enjoy hearing it. Still don't. But, eventually I realized my A was damaging me. Not in the usual way. Just in the "I am not going anywhere" way. But if everyone had held my hand and said "oh there there baby, its ok. You are different, your A is different, your AP is different"...maybe I would still be there with my head in the sand. Sometimes the truth isn't what you want to hear, its what you need to hear. And the reasons many of these posters are able to pinpoint motivations is because so many of us tell the same stories. Just the names, dates, and locations are changed. It is kind of sad really. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
NTV Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 It is kind of sad really. Yup. I got me an order of that too. Wanted nachos. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 I have to agree that most of us come to LS with our heads still stuck firmly in that pink fluffy A cloud. Mine was there 8 years , as most of you would know by now. As I read through all your posts and comments here, I am still recognising and learning that the A wasn't special at all. It was just an A like any other. xMM for all his sweet words, always went home, never changed a thing in his life. Sometimes we need to be gently shocked in order to get to this point and on the road to recovery. Participating in an A warps one's sense of reality. Do we ever totally recover normality??? I don't know yet. Poppy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted September 30, 2016 Share Posted September 30, 2016 If the threadstarter would like more responses they can request the thread be reopened via the "Alert Us" button. Thanks, ~6 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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