Author pkn06002 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 Not hurting are you? Don't by any chance have a little of that awful gut wrenching feeling knowing that she's with someone else? You know that ache, the desperation, the wondering what you could have done differently? Again I don't care she is with someone else the ambush way she notified me followed by other conversations has killed those feelings. I can tell you in details if you about what what she is physically doing with him and how that will get him to fall in love with her you want those for me to prove that? What I could've done differently??? The only thing I would've done differently is not allowed her to convince me to stay in contact past January. But as far as divorcing etc.... to be with her I would be doing nothing different. Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 I kind of get what you are saying but in the case of my wife no. She was honestly happy until I told her since her needs were being meet and I never brought drama etc... home. Other then the lack of sex and loving attention towards me the marriage is not bad. It functions like a good business should and I have a feeling that is how my wife saw her parents interact. But even businesses break down and stop it looks like that time for my marriage is happening also. This all could've been avoided if I would've just left 12 years ago, all that wasted time all around. But I do have a good kid and have gotten to watch them grow up, so there is something. She could have ben very unhappy, but hiding it. In spite of what mm like to think ( and mw too) , a bs usually knows something is off, but they don't know what. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cyra Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 You saw a lawyer and went 'aah this is too hard' So you would rather stay in a dead marriage rather than man up, and b*tch and moan about a woman whos realized youre all talk and no walk and moved on. You seem like you need mothering, directionless without a woman willing to welcome you to her bosom grow a set 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pkn06002 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 She could have ben very unhappy, but hiding it. In spite of what mm like to think ( and mw too) , a bs usually knows something is off, but they don't know what. Not what she says in counseling and frank and open discussions we are having now. She had no idea. Look if you are a BS posting on this you are going to have a really hard time with me. I have zero remorse or guilt about what I did, I know WS are supposed to but I don't. I am honest with my wife that sure she wants to try one more time but I don't have a lot of "team marriage" in me after so many years in an affair. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pkn06002 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 You saw a lawyer and went 'aah this is too hard' So you would rather stay in a dead marriage rather than man up, and b*tch and moan about a woman whos realized youre all talk and no walk and moved on. You seem like you need mothering, directionless without a woman willing to welcome you to her bosom grow a set Might be better if you ask questions instead of assuming things, that is what smart people do. The lawyer told me kind of what I expected, if anything waiting till the end of the year is better logical play financially etc.... You should very bitter and upset with me, you might want to see someone about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Pete2304 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Again I don't care she is with someone else the ambush way she notified me followed by other conversations has killed those feelings. I can tell you in details if you about what what she is physically doing with him and how that will get him to fall in love with her you want those for me to prove that? What I could've done differently??? The only thing I would've done differently is not allowed her to convince me to stay in contact past January. But as far as divorcing etc.... to be with her I would be doing nothing different. What could you have done differently? Ask yourself that again and have a think about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pkn06002 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 What could you have done differently? Ask yourself that again and have a think about it. Oh you mean the not have an affair to start with? LOL!!!! Yeah can I have a time machine too? I am going to assume you are a BS because those kind of comments only come from that side of the fence. Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 I find it incredibly strange how a ws will assume their bs is instantly trusting them with their deepest feelings once they find out about an A. Like they are going to instantly trust their heart with he person who just stomped all over it, especially in this case, when it's gone on for ten years. Unless your child is a teen, during those ten years, your wife was good enough to sleep with, get pregnant, etc. Given your track record, I have a very strong feeling that your marriage issues are not based in your wife, but in yourself. You blame everyone else for your problems, but reuse to accept any responsibility for your own actions. Don't like hearing that from a BS? Suck it up, buttercup. You don't get to dictate anyone elses views on here. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Cyra Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Might be better if you ask questions instead of assuming things, that is what smart people do. Said someone not long ago Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Oh you mean the not have an affair to start with? LOL!!!! Yeah can I have a time machine too? I am going to assume you are a BS because those kind of comments only come from that side of the fence. Actually, read through the thread. Note who made comments like this. It's BS, OW/OM and WS. You know why that is? Because almost all of us have been in a relationship at some point that didn't work out, and we all moved on. Some of us have received crap treatment, and some have dished it out and feel bad about that. In spite of what you think, they are trying to help you. Your righteous indignation about what the ow did to you by daring to move on in her life without seeking a by-your-leave from you is really unsettling.. Why should she have had to tell you she was moving on? Why is she not allowed to seek happiness away from you? Instead of going on about how she hurt you, how about some consideration for how you hurt her, your wife and how your child will be hurt? Link to post Share on other sites
Author pkn06002 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 Actually, read through the thread. Note who made comments like this. It's BS, OW/OM and WS. You know why that is? Because almost all of us have been in a relationship at some point that didn't work out, and we all moved on. Some of us have received crap treatment, and some have dished it out and feel bad about that. In spite of what you think, they are trying to help you. Your righteous indignation about what the ow did to you by daring to move on in her life without seeking a by-your-leave from you is really unsettling.. Why should she have had to tell you she was moving on? Why is she not allowed to seek happiness away from you? Instead of going on about how she hurt you, how about some consideration for how you hurt her, your wife and how your child will be hurt? Good lord!!!!! You folks really need some reading comprehension since I am starting to repeat myself. I don't care that she moved on I expected it and she even told me about times she went out. Why did I expect she would tell me when she finally found someone because that is what she told me she would do! I wanted a heads up to protect myself and the feelings I had for her. Because I KNEW what would happen if it got sprung on me like it eventually did. Oh and more of this crap I have seen over the years about how I should care about other people because I hurt them blah blah blah.... Guess what they can make a thread if they want this is my thread to bitch. Again if you are a BS thinking you can apply the 2x4s to me good luck bring a lunch you are not going to like the results. Link to post Share on other sites
Author pkn06002 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 If anything you guys should be celebrating the notion I got what I deserved why are you not focusing on that? She moved on with a new guy having all kinds of fun I'm stuck deciding to divorce and move on with my life all while hurting my BW. Come on try to focus on something that might upset me but the OW moving on and being with someone else is not the tactic to take. Link to post Share on other sites
Pete2304 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 If anything you guys should be celebrating the notion I got what I deserved why are you not focusing on that? She moved on with a new guy having all kinds of fun I'm stuck deciding to divorce and move on with my life all while hurting my BW. Come on try to focus on something that might upset me but the OW moving on and being with someone else is not the tactic to take. She's moved on with a new guy having all kinds of fun you say. Hurts doesn't it? Nobody is trying to upset you, nobody needs to. Rant and rave all you like but when you look at yourself in the mirror, you know why you are in this situation. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Pete2304 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 And you are unlikely to find anyone celebrating the fact that you are hurting now because all people can see is the damage you have caused over the last ten years. There isn't a single winner out of the situation you've allowed to develop. It may well be that you are coming off worse out of everyone involved but ah well, someone had to I suppose. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pkn06002 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 She's moved on with a new guy having all kinds of fun you say. Hurts doesn't it? Nobody is trying to upset you, nobody needs to. Rant and rave all you like but when you look at yourself in the mirror, you know why you are in this situation. Like I said earlier it hurt at first now no so much. She is happy this I am happy for her that is the thing about love at times you led someone go even if you can't be with them. Yes put myself here and yes it sucks thus we I tell people to not get into an affair no matter how good it feels. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 And you are unlikely to find anyone celebrating the fact that you are hurting now because all people can see is the damage you have caused over the last ten years. There isn't a single winner out of the situation you've allowed to develop. It may well be that you are coming off worse out of everyone involved but ah well, someone had to I suppose. I doubt he is hurting more than his BS is at the moment, being that Dday coincided with his OW's FB notificaton. I guess his child is hurting too, wondering what on earth happened, why is Mummy crying and Daddy is soooo angry... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Pete2304 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 And again....how is your wife actually coping with discovering ten years of betrayal? Is she actually ok? I imagine the reason you've had something of a cold response on the whole is that you aren't sorry, your only concern is for your own feelings now that the house of cards has fallen down and seem almost shocked that the level of sympathy is where it is. I'm sorry you are feeling like crap, I wouldn't wish it on anyone for what it's worth but if you play with fire..... And yes, you are quite right I was cheated on. Many, many times as it turns out. Despite this, I turned down my own wife a couple of weeks ago because she had told me the day before she was in love with her new partner and I don't believe in cheating so I actually turned her down when I was sat in her house and she wanted to take me upstairs. It's called morals. I ain't perfect, far from it but to cheat for 10 years is a disgrace. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pkn06002 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 I doubt he is hurting more than his BS is at the moment, being that Dday coincided with his OW's FB notificaton. I guess his child is hurting too, wondering what on earth happened, why is Mummy crying and Daddy is soooo angry... Just so you know this is the second Dday with the same OW. Child knows nothing since we are careful when we discuss and act around the house. You BS crack me up same song and dance from years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Pete2304 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Just so you know this is the second Dday with the same OW. Child knows nothing since we are careful when we discuss and act around the house. You BS crack me up same song and dance from years ago. You think your children don't see and hear things? You think your wife hasn't cried at night when you have disappeared yet again or stayed out hours later than you said you would? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pkn06002 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 And again....how is your wife actually coping with discovering ten years of betrayal? Is she actually ok? I imagine the reason you've had something of a cold response on the whole is that you aren't sorry, your only concern is for your own feelings now that the house of cards has fallen down and seem almost shocked that the level of sympathy is where it is. I'm sorry you are feeling like crap, I wouldn't wish it on anyone for what it's worth but if you play with fire..... And yes, you are quite right I was cheated on. Many, many times as it turns out. Despite this, I turned down my own wife a couple of weeks ago because she had told me the day before she was in love with her new partner and I don't believe in cheating so I actually turned her down when I was sat in her house and she wanted to take me upstairs. It's called morals. I ain't perfect, far from it but to cheat for 10 years is a disgrace. Not here to discuss my BS I would start a different thread if I wanted to discuss that. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Just so you know this is the second Dday with the same OW. And that is somehow better???? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Pete2304 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Just so you know this is the second Dday with the same OW. Child knows nothing since we are careful when we discuss and act around the house. You BS crack me up same song and dance from years ago. Shall I tell you something that might not crack you up? Right now there isn't a single woman here who has read your story who would look twice at you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pkn06002 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 And that is somehow better???? Just a fact and again don't care to discuss my be with you folks, my thread about my issues. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Just so you know this is the second Dday with the same OW. Child knows nothing since we are careful when we discuss and act around the house. You BS crack me up same song and dance from years ago. Nothing for now... later it may be a different story depending on what questions your child starts asking. The aftermath of an A can ripple for decades. Pitiful you gave your BS a second Dday! I hope she finds the peace she deserves! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author pkn06002 Posted October 3, 2016 Author Share Posted October 3, 2016 Shall I tell you something that might not crack you up? Right now there isn't a single woman here who has read your story who would look twice at you. You have talked to all of them? Plus I'm not looking to hookup so don't care. Link to post Share on other sites
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