Sweetfish Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 Who said anything about him not getting sex at home to begin with? There's no reason to cheat when you can just leave the relationship instead of lie and deceive the woman and bring diseases home. This thread is in regards to Love. Lies and selfishness does not mean you love or not love an individual. Kids lie and deceive their parents and vice versa all the time, that doesn't not mean they don't love each other. Everyone I know with a cheating man was having lots of sex and some of them wanted it more than he did. It's about total selfishness. Be interesting to know the relationship dynamics of these people. Men and women cheat.. nothing new. Are these women grabbing the tall dark and handsome men who are out of their league which is typical of many women these days...you can see them all day on match.com or OKC and over looking the actual "good men/reliable men" because they thought they were boring? Did they let them selves go? Are they dating bad boys? the nice guys? So i can't go by you just saying a bunch of girls got cheated on... I'm letting you know that if your a woman and your not giving you man good companionship...not keeping yourself sexy or letting your self go.. your chance of your guy straying to other women increase. Is it fool proof... no its not...but if you have a guy that's 30's- 40 years of age and is doing well and your 30-40 and your letting your self go... just know the 20 year old girls will be eyeing him.... and he will ALWAYS be eyeing them.
Sweetfish Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 Why didn't the man fix food for himself? Or discuss the lack of food with his spouse? At the end of the day, those are all excuses-- the man wanted to get some outside of the home because he wanted to. From someone who dabbles in affairs... do you tell that to the OW?
Taramere Posted February 21, 2017 Posted February 21, 2017 I personally think that he does not love her, even if he claims he does. How can you say that you love when you hurt that person? If he truly loved her, he would never ever think of being with another woman (even though it's for the sex only). More, he never loved his wife in the first place. What's your opinion? I would think it's perfectly possible that a man could cheat sexually and romantically on a woman who he would nonetheless take a bullet for...and I think people often either either deny that possibility vehemently or maintain certainty that the man cheating on his wife nonetheless loves that wife, as part of supporting the choices they want to make. That choice might be "I'll carry on having an affair with this guy, because he obviously doesn't love his wife and sooner or later he's bound to leave her." Or it might be "I know my husband has cheated on me, but I don't doubt his love for me and I'm determined to work this through." You're never really going to know for sure what's going on in the head and heart of another person. All you can really know is "how do the choices this person makes impact on my life?" A man might well love his wife, but that's not necessarily going to console a wife if his adultery brings all sorts of problems into her life. Those could be STDs, or women who decide they want to confront or speak to the wife...or it could involve the guy channeling scarce resources in the direction of the other woman rather than towards his wife and family. Regardless of what sentiments the guy feels in his heart, if he's making choices that are having a very negative impact on his wife, children and overall family life then she has to consider the wisdom of continuing to persevere with the marriage. I think a lot of women would find if far easier to make apparently difficult choices if they stopped trying to second guess what men are feeling (which, for all the woman knows, could change dramatically from one hour to the next)....and simply focused on the the choices men make, the actions they take and the general consequences of those actions. I suspect that women who are in the "other woman" situation are probably often focused very much on romantic rather than practical aspects. "Which one of us does he really love" - that kind of thing. Wives are more likely to be focused not just on whether their husband loves them from the heart, but also on any number of practical issues relating to children and family life. If they still have a reasonably affectionate and sexual relationship if the affair doesn't impact overly much on family life and resources, and provided she doesn't have to deal with the other woman (either face to face or by listening to her husband talking about her) then it might be something she's prepared to accept without spending too much time trying to conjure up answers to questions about something as abstract and subjective as love. 1
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