Lost pretty much all of my friends

[CJDJ6963]

Where do I start ?

Well I had a friend group of 5 people. 2 guys and 3 girls. One of the girls I brought into the "group" as I used to go out and do stuff with her when I wasn't with my close group. I got everyone chatting and doing stuff together and yeah.

Then I got a girlfriend who didn't have any friends when I met her because she has manic depression and yeah she wasn't in a good place at all.

We ended on very good terms simply because she fell out of love with me.

I introduced her to all of my friends and at first I was like well she has no one else so if I can't be there or I'm working and my friends aren't then she could have more friends. I started taking her out with me and my friends to do stuf and even though one of the girls didn't like her at first, her and the other guy in the group got very close with my girlfriend. At first I reacted badly because I knew if we split up it would create drama etc. It did. The guy (my best friend) was really angry at me because I was constantly having arguments with my girlfriend and yeah that's partly why we broke up.

Basically for about two months I was being super selfish. I had a lot of problems in my life but I bottled it up and took my frustration out on my girlfriend. Unacceptable I know. There's also something "huge" I did to the guy (my best friend of two years) but he hasn't opened up to anyone apart from my now ex. He made her promise she wouldn't tell anyone so she didn't tell me. All she said was he feels I putmy problems before everyone else's and basically I was really selfish. I also found out that he complained a lot about me on nights out. I don't have a lot of money so I'd often say I couldn't go out and he would be like aw well I got a bonus in work so come out. It would take him ages of begging me to go out before I caved and let him buy me drinks etc. I've always been very grateful for it but he apparently gets annoyed on the night. Even thought he kept begging me to come out.. I don't know. He's also possibly gay(?). He doesn't open up to anyone about anything really but he did tell my ex that he pulled a guy before and I met one of his colleagues from work and she said she thinks he's gay but doesn't want to come out in fear of his dad disowning him. I got told that on a night out and I went up to him in the club and just Hugged him. He never comes to me with his problems and he hasn't this time either.

I asked him what I did and he said "there's loads of little things but the main one is how you treated your girlfriend".

I have admitted and apologised for the way I selfishly acted at times with her but he is still mad.

He won't meet with me to talk and he ignores most of my messages. He told me he would tell me when he has time to come and talk but he's always out with everyone else. So it's now my ex, him and the other girl.

I'm in contact with the girl I brought into the group but she was isolated probably because they know we're quite close anyway. I don't know it's just so messy and I'm not really sure what to do? Do I just wait it out? Maybe avoid social media as they do see everything on there and ugh I don't know

[Nowty V]

You should never cave, having drinks bought for you by friends is a sure way to lose your friends.

 

Especially when you have nearly £1000.00 savings, you just don't want to put your hand in your pocket.

 

Look within and see what sort of person you really are.

 

Cut your coat according to the cloth.

Edited October 2, 2016 by Nowty V

[CJDJ6963]

Thank you for this. I'm trying to change as a person because it's nobody else's fault apart from my own that I'm left with no one..

I've always gone to the guy for help and opinions on things because I don't know I just like how he sees multiple perspectives but he's never asked me for help.

I just want to be selfless and get my **** together for the sake of everyone around me

[preraph]

Not sure you can come back from this with all your friends, but maybe you'll salvage one or two. My best advice to you is to always be asking yourself if you're treating others the way you would like to be treated. Hold yourself to that simple standard. It makes you more aware of when you're being unfair and more able to see their side of things. And to prevent making them mad.