Positive Signs she's into you

[ADIDAS]

Ok so we've seen the 9 signs she's not that into you....

 

so what are signs that she is def intrested i'm a newbie to this stuff so i'll sitback and let the experts slug it out.

...Ofcourse i have a hidden agenda so please be honest

Peace!

[alphamale]

if she's havin' sex w/ you she's most likely interested

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Originally posted by alphamale

if she's havin' sex w/ you she's most likely interested

 

And conversely, if she says she wants to wait a bit to have sex with you, then she's probably into you.

[elijahBailey]

oh, this is easy. Go thru the other thread. That list is pretty comprehensive, I think. And if you didn't get bruised too badly by that list, then you can safely assume she's probably into you

[drgnflybethany]

Originally posted by ADIDAS

Ok so we've seen the 9 signs she's not that into you....

 

so what are signs that she is def intrested i'm a newbie to this stuff so i'll sitback and let the experts slug it out.

...Ofcourse i have a hidden agenda so please be honest

Peace!

 

Uhm....

 

She'll ignore you - b/c she's afraid to look in your direction..

or

She looks at you all the time..

 

She can't shut up when she's around you..

or

She can hardly speak when she's around you...

 

She will find a reason to talk to you - stupid things, really...

 

She will want to touch you...

 

She will play with her hair...

 

She'll slant her head to one side when you're talking...

 

Pupils dilate when we're attracted - so check out her eyes...

 

She will call you twenty times a day.. just to hear your voice (this of course diminishes as you get older...)

 

She will email you..

 

She will not bring up other men in your presence... this is a test for you to know if she's interested in you as a friend or as a serious interest... If she does bring up other men, and you find out later she had an interest and was doing it to find out if you were jealous - well.. I never played these games...

 

She will say your name... a lot...

 

She will pop up in unexpected places..

 

She will stop you just to say hi..

 

She will smile at you... a genuine smile

 

 

Just do me a favor - if you ask her out - and use only the "So, what are you doing this weekend? That you follow it up if you don't get the answer you want... b/c we girls - can be stupid - and not see through that..

[blue16]

If you try hard enough, you can make almost any negative signal into a positive sign that she likes you.

 

Example:

 

She doesn't talk too much with you, gives short answers and such.

 

Copout answer: She thinks you're hot so she gets really nervous around you, that's why she's not talking that much.

 

Example 2:

 

She walks past you often in school and doesn't come to visit.

 

Copout answer: She's playing hard to get by ignoring you.

 

Example 3:

 

She's talking about how hot some guy is in your presence.

 

Copout answer: She's trying to make you jealous.

 

Now although SOMETIMES those signals are actually positive ones, most of the time they are negative and people try to turn them into buying signals to keep up hope that the other person is interested.

 

As for legitament signals girls give to guys, one of my favourite comes from my boy alphamale. Basically if she makes a lot of eye contact with you, looks at you often when you aren't speaking to her etc...

 

I actually used that hint not too long ago. I met this friend of a friend, and while I was talking to someone she kept making eye contact with me so I thought of this this damn forum and remembered "hey that's an obvious signal." I realized within 5 seconds of meeting her that she was probably interested. Sure enough, next day my friend says "she likes you, blue16."

 

My second favourite one is where she is mysteriously around you all the time. It's interesting how someone is interested in you suddenly appears next to you a lot more often than random chance would dictate.

[lonely101]

Yes but how reliable are these signs??? I had a girl that was giving me a lot of the classic signs. She was always looking at me and smiling, big smile too and her pupils were dilated. she would laugh at my lame ass jokes and i know i`m not that funny. I told her i could cook and she laughed.

 

Lets see she also would touch me when we talked. and she would play with her hair a lot too. SHe even told a mutual friend that she likes me. So anyway when i asked her out she was excited and even picked out the place. Then she suddenly got all quiet on me, she was more nervous than usual. When i questioned her about it she said it was nothing wrong. but i kept pushing it and she freaked out on me. I saw her a few days later and she was cold and distant.

 

Why are women so confusing??? It`s been over a week now and i still can`t stop thinking about her, i guess i`m not ready to give up on her yet but i don`t know what to do..

[blue16]

Originally posted by lonely101

So anyway when i asked her out she was excited and even picked out the place. Then she suddenly got all quiet on me, she was more nervous than usual. When i questioned her about it she said it was nothing wrong. but i kept pushing it and she freaked out on me. I saw her a few days later and she was cold and distant.

 

Probably nervous because she really liked you. You kept pushing the issue till it freaked her out and she blew up and then that's it. The only thing you can do now is ignore her as well...

[lonely101]

Thanks Blue16 but do you think it`s hopeless? I apologized to her when i saw her and she accepted it but it didn't change the way she acted. I have been staying away but now i just want to call her. Do you think i should wait Or call tonight?

[Marshbear]

The only positive sign that I know is when she says yes to a date. All the other signs can be positive or just friendly.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by Marshbear

The only positive sign that I know is when she says yes to a date. All the other signs can be positive or just friendly.

another strong positive sign is when your genitalia come into contact with her mouth in some way, shape, or form

[blue16]

Originally posted by lonely101

Thanks Blue16 but do you think it`s hopeless? I apologized to her when i saw her and she accepted it but it didn't change the way she acted. I have been staying away but now i just want to call her. Do you think i should wait Or call tonight?

 

Wait, don't call her. The only way she will change her mind is if she misses you a little bit, and that can only be done by not contacting her at all.

 

Originally posted by Marshbear

The only positive sign that I know is when she says yes to a date. All the other signs can be positive or just friendly.

 

Yup, very true. The 'signals' can only increase the chance of her saying yes, and less chance of rejection.

 

Originally posted by alphamale

another strong positive sign is when your genitalia come into contact with her mouth in some way, shape, or form

 

maybe she is not into you and is just desperate for some action? haha jk...

 

anyways I remember like 6 months ago there was a similar thread to this one, and you mentioned the #1 signal is eye contact. When I started to notice unneccesary eye contact from a girl, I thought of your post and it's worked everytime since. Cool eh?

[alex434]

Originally posted by alphamale

another strong positive sign is when your genitalia come into contact with her mouth in some way, shape, or form

 

LMAO no thats LOVE lol.

[thrillseeker]

Originally posted by lonely101

Yes but how reliable are these signs??? I had a girl that was giving me a lot of the classic signs. She was always looking at me and smiling, big smile too and her pupils were dilated. she would laugh at my lame ass jokes and i know i`m not that funny. I told her i could cook and she laughed.

 

Lets see she also would touch me when we talked. and she would play with her hair a lot too. SHe even told a mutual friend that she likes me. So anyway when i asked her out she was excited and even picked out the place. Then she suddenly got all quiet on me, she was more nervous than usual. When i questioned her about it she said it was nothing wrong. but i kept pushing it and she freaked out on me. I saw her a few days later and she was cold and distant.

 

Why are women so confusing??? It`s been over a week now and i still can`t stop thinking about her, i guess i`m not ready to give up on her yet but i don`t know what to do..

 

If it is established that shes physically attracted to you only 4 things will prevent things from progressing:

 

1. threat - can be caused by her insecurity, low self esteem, painful shyness, she may think you are too good for her etc. In other words, its her own inner bull**** getting in the way: you did nothing wrong. Men and women always put up their emotional guard when aroudn someone they feel vulnerable too. When she was flirting with you before you asked her out, she's playing out a safe fantasy and all she requires from you is friendly ensures and she's emotionally satisfied. When you give her the reality check that yeah, I am interested in you miss shy girl, she will back off because she enters into the unknown and is no longer in her safe little fantasy. BELIEVE ME ON THIS.

 

2. bitch - a guy acting needy is some way and conveys a lack of masculinity (you're not in this category)

3. fraud - guy isnt who he says he is. ie putting on an act (you're not in this category)

4. gross out - you're a disgusting slob (not the case either)

 

 

You're playing a sexual dynamic here and the best thing to do is to do nothing. She is afraid and needs that fear to disappear on its own. Her attraction to you will force her engage you again at some point. This can be from as little as a week to as much as a month. I had one girl who was so insecure around me, that she wouldnt talk to me for 6 months, and when I got in touch with her again, she admitted she was afraid I was gonna use her then get rid of her. Basically, she felt threatened because of her flawed perceptions. Does this make sense? That whole idea of "coming on strong" in a confident and non needy manner elicits that feeling of being threatened emotionally, because a guy or a girl may feel like they will lose emotinal control over themselves.

 

of course there's "coming on strong" by being a lil bitch, ex: whining and begging for a date, professing immediate love etc. (you're def not in that category either) Just wanted to give you some things to think about. It is VERY VERY VERY easy to understand how men and women operate once you udnerstand the whole concept of " ego gratification" vs "threat to ego gratification".

[Mary3]

Pretty Easy here : If she is with you today , then obviously she is right there with YOU where she wants to be.

 

If she is NOT with you today , its usually because she is somewhere else with someone else who she does enjoy being with.

 

Or because she is sick or has a headache or her car is broken or she is just shy BUT do the Math : Where is she right now ? With you ? Out somewhere ? With someone else ? Some other friend ?

 

Its easy to figure out when you run out of reasons why she isnt out with you tonite.

 

She seemed to exhibit many of the classic signs of liking you ( or you imagined some of them or misread them but lets assume she DID do all the things girls do to show you they are interested ) She did exhibit them but something went wrong .

 

How she turned from warm and interested to cold and distant means a few things :

 

1. She found someone else

2. She sees you only as a friend and you misinterpreted all signs

3. She is moving to Siberia and does not want to get involved with you.

4. Her dog ate her shoes, the one pair she was going to wear to go out with you.

5. You exhibited some bizarre behaviors such as howling when the moon was full.

6. She is a game player of the mind and enjoyed stringing you along and then said " WHam " ! Heck no I wont go ! " and dissed you completely

 

But seriously : you can find 164 reasons why she didnt go out with you but the fact is she did not go out with you. You saw her a few days later and her limbs were intact , so you know she didnt get hurt in a car accident .

 

She is alive and well.

 

If tomorrow she goes out with you then who knows ? Maybe she was just shy and backed off.

 

Are you the quiet easy going type or the outgoing loud party guy ? Which do you think she prefers ? An assertive outgoing male or a easy going man ?

[thrillseeker]

Originally posted by Mary3

Pretty Easy here : If she is with you today , then obviously she is right there with YOU where she wants to be.

 

If she is NOT with you today , its usually because she is somewhere else with someone else who she does enjoy being with.

Maybe , but not always. If sexual attraction is established, it doesnt just go away. I mean, she tells her friend she likes the guy... BIG BIG hint she likes him. That she may be insecure, shy, low self esteem is a very real possibility.

 

Or because she is sick or has a headache or her car is broken or she is just shy BUT do the Math : Where is she right now ? With you ? Out somewhere ? With someone else ? Some other friend ?

 

 

 

Its easy to figure out when you run out of reasons why she isnt out with you tonite.

 

She seemed to exhibit many of the classic signs of liking you ( or you imagined some of them or misread them but lets assume she DID do all the things girls do to show you they are interested ) She did exhibit them but something went wrong .

 

How she turned from warm and interested to cold and distant means a few things :

 

1. She found someone else

highly doubt. She reacted. She felt threatened. Felt vulnerable. Felt she might actually follow through with her attraction to the guy. This means entering the unknown and risking rejection by him down the line.

 

 

2. She sees you only as a friend and you misinterpreted all signs

that's about as likely as me flirting with a fat ugly chick I am not sexually attracted to. People just dont do that. More evidence: she told one of her friends she liked him.

 

4. Her dog ate her shoes, the one pair she was going to wear to go out with you.

Highly unlikely.

 

5. You exhibited some bizarre behaviors such as howling when the moon was full.

This would constitute "fraud like behavior" as in "not being youself" from the first onset of attraction. So we can discount this.

 

6. She is a game player of the mind and enjoyed stringing you along and then said " WHam " ! Heck no I wont go ! " and dissed you completely

Indeterminate since you dont know her dating history and or how she interacts with other guys. More likely than not, given that sexual attraction has been established, she got nervous that he liked her back and would evolve the interaction in a manner which would cause emotional fear in teh girl. The girl may very likely think she's not good enough for the guy/insecure/shy. One thing is for sure, he shouldnt have pushed the issue since it caused her to raise her shields way way up. If he backs off for a while, the sexual attraction she feels for him will cause her to seek out ways by which she can renew interaction with him.

 

 

 

Last thing I wanted to add: sexual compulsion is the basis for her behaviour.

interest is a function of ego gratification or threat to ego gratification.

 

interest is high when there is no threat to ego gratification

interest is low when there is a threat to ego gratification

 

high or low, sexual attraction remains constant. Multiple variables effect whether the degree of ego threat/gratification all people feel with a member of the opposite sex. In short the ego threat always revolves around the fear of getting hurt emotionally.

[lonely101]

What you say makes a lot sense thrillseeker. You actually gave me a little more hope when i was about to give up. thanks. Also i`m thinking she wasn`t really cold that night, more like nervous and distant.

 

I`ve only seen her twice since my last post. 1st time was about 10 days after the nervous and distant night. She was friendly again, but still nervous. I didn`t push her this time, i learned my lesson about that. We didn`t talk long and when she left i asked if i could call her later and she said not right now, it wasn`t a good time. I told her i undsertood.

 

2nd time was last Saturday, we didn`t talk at all then, she was a few feet away and we just looked at each other for a moment, then i went the other way. A few days ago she asked one of my friends about me, so i guess that`s a good sign.

 

Maybe the NC will work, i`m trying to stay positive. Things were going so well though, if only i didn`t push her. I guess it`s too late to worry about that now.

[thrillseeker]

most important thing is self control k? I know how it feels to have desire for someone and they're not acting in a manner that will bring you emotional (ego) gratification. Take solace in the fact that she IS into you. She's a bit afraid/insecure/shy and might think you are a player. Even if you are not, the point is her feeling of being "threatened" is caused by her flawed perception of you. Think about some really really really really hot chick you see walkign down the street. You may be attracted like hell to her, but you see her as the physical manifestation of perfection adn she can see all your falws, and you immediately think "damn I want her, but she would never have me. If she acts like shes interested in me, its only because she's messing with my head..." THink about that. Just be patient, and hang back. Let her come to you. Remember, her sexual attraction will force her to engage you in some way. (She even asked about you). Dont push because this amplifies her fear. The thing she wants to percieve in her head is that she is in control. Knowing this, and knowing that she's def interested in you kind of gives you the advantage because you're not dealing with the unkown. You know she feels threatened and she must overcome this fear herself, or you have to work around it if you find out what she's afraid of. Hope this helps bro ;-)

 

 

Originally posted by lonely101

What you say make a lot sense thrillseeker. You actually gave me a little more hope when i was about to give up. thanks. Also i`m thinking she wasn`t really cold that night, more like nervous and distant.

 

I`ve only seen her twice since my last post. 1st time was about 10 days after the nervous and distant night. She was friendly again, but still nervous. I didn`t push her this time, i learned my lesson about that. We didn`t talk long and when she left i asked if i could call her later and she said not right now, it wasn`t a good time. I told her i undsertood.

 

2nd time was last Saturday, we didn`t talk at all then, she was a few feet away and we just looked at each other for a moment, then i went the other way. A few days ago she asked one of my friends about me, so i guess that`s a good sign.

 

Maybe the NC will work, i`m trying to stay positive. Things were going so well though, if only i didn`t push her. I guess it`s too late to worry about that now.