salah Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 theres a girl a really love alot , but we are best friends, she dont know any thing about that, at first I thought its just a crush that will go i will forget her but this wasn't the case, I found out that its real love, but I couldnt tell her until now, im so afraid that if I told her she will say no and i will lose our friendship so i dont wanna lose her in any, and I cant let it go actually i don't wanna stop lovin her it feels so right. I always bring to her presents, I treat her more kindly than all other girls but all I know that she dont have any idea about that im not sure, and i think she doesnt love in the same way, she probably loves me as her best friend. so i really dont know what to do, to tell her or not, and if so when and how, i really afraid of losing our friendship and at the same time I dont wanna say after 5 years what if told her, especially that each one of us is goin to study university in different country after two months and i will only see her next summer.......................thanx Link to post Share on other sites
Nur Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 A really similar thing happened to me -- except I was the girl. A guy that was one of my closest friends told me he'd liked me after three years, and asked if I'd give a more serious relationship a chance. If she's as good a friend as you think, she's not going to just blow you off and get mad and end the friendship -- she'll hear you out, and if she's at all interested, she'll give it a try. If not, be ready to graciously accept her choice, and fall back into the Just Friends world. I'm also facing the same timeline... I'll be off to college, and he'll still be in high school one more year. I've decided to let the relationship live as long as it does... as soon as I get to the point where I feel like it's not getting anywhere, or I don't really feel like seeing him as often, or find myself even more attracted to someone else, I'll just break it off as kindly as possible. But there's no reason why the relationship wouldn't be able to work for a while even when you /are/ in different schools. It might be nice to have a friendly voice to talk to during that first transitioning year. Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 She knows you like her. Women have a sixth sense about these things and she is just using your devotion to satisfy her ego. I'm not saying she doesn't care about you but if she felt the way you do then she would find a way to let you know it's alright to pursue her. She probably will give you the friends speech if you confess you undying love for her and you will either have to be happy with that or move on. Most women DO NOT change their mind from friendship to romance. I think the choice is up to you. If you can't take just being a friend then you know what you must do. If you don't mind hanging out with her and can control your feeling then friendship might work. She has made her choice and the ball is in your court. Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewJ Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Wise words Mrash bear Link to post Share on other sites
Nur Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear She knows you like her. Women have a sixth sense about these things and she is just using your devotion to satisfy her ego. I'm not saying she doesn't care about you but if she felt the way you do then she would find a way to let you know it's alright to pursue her. She probably will give you the friends speech if you confess you undying love for her and you will either have to be happy with that or move on. Most women DO NOT change their mind from friendship to romance. I think the choice is up to you. If you can't take just being a friend then you know what you must do. If you don't mind hanging out with her and can control your feeling then friendship might work. She has made her choice and the ball is in your court. I don't think that's particularly true at all. From a woman's standpoint, having faced a rather similar situation, I can tell you that I was quite confused about my friend-now-boyfriend's feelings. He'd liked me for three years, and truthfully I had little idea. Many other people could tell, but I was rather oblivious until, completely thrown by the conflicting signs of friendship and something more, I bluntly asked him how he felt. Only then did I discover the truth. And as for most women not changing their minds from friendship to romance, that is quite untrue. Almost every romance starts as a friendship -- how else do you get to know the person well? It is not at all uncommon for close friends to end up as something more. The only way to find out if she might return the feelings is to tell her. Don't make her answer right away -- let her think about it first. Link to post Share on other sites
drgnflybethany Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by salah theres a girl a really love alot , but we are best friends, she dont know any thing about that, at first I thought its just a crush that will go i will forget her but this wasn't the case, I found out that its real love, but I couldnt tell her until now, im so afraid that if I told her she will say no and i will lose our friendship so i dont wanna lose her in any, and I cant let it go actually i don't wanna stop lovin her it feels so right. I always bring to her presents, I treat her more kindly than all other girls but all I know that she dont have any idea about that im not sure, and i think she doesnt love in the same way, she probably loves me as her best friend. so i really dont know what to do, to tell her or not, and if so when and how, i really afraid of losing our friendship and at the same time I dont wanna say after 5 years what if told her, especially that each one of us is goin to study university in different country after two months and i will only see her next summer.......................thanx Chances are if you are buying her little presents - and only her - not your other girl friends (meaning girls that happen to be girls) - then, she already knows how you feel. In that instance.... if she's not rejecting the gifts - or telling you she feels uncomfortable accepting them, I say you follow Nur's advice on this one.. Take the chance - and, if she's as great a friend as you believe she is, again, she won't blow you off - either she'll be flattered, but not interested or flattered and interested. Link to post Share on other sites
drgnflybethany Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 Originally posted by Marshbear Most women DO NOT change their mind from friendship to romance. You know - it would be fascinating to sit and spar (sp?) with you at a coffee shop some day... I've always heard the same thing, but about MEN... How MEN never change their minds from friendship to romance. I've always noticed that women will change their mind - and in fact, the strongest attractions I've had in my life, the strongest crushes have always been friends first. So there Link to post Share on other sites
Marshbear Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 You know - it would be fascinating to sit and spar (sp?) with you at a coffee shop some day... I must warn you, I voted Republican, just like your friend... Link to post Share on other sites
Author salah Posted July 9, 2005 Author Share Posted July 9, 2005 so you all think that I must tell her, but when would it be the right time to tell her ,now, before we both go to college lets say 1 week before? and by the way she always accept my presents with lots of happiness Link to post Share on other sites
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