Binge eating

[hew]

Hey guys,

 

so im not sure if this is the right section to post this but I figured it seemed appropriate.

 

So for years now, probably about 4 consecutive years I have gained a lot of weight. It started when I began living on my own. I would binge eat on all kinds of sugary foods and carbs every. single. day. To the point where if I didn't go out and find these foods to eat, I would have anxiety, headaches, and any kind of withdrawal sort of feelings. The only way I can calm my nerves and stomach and mind would to eat these kinds of foods.

 

So before anyone says to just keep the foods out of my house... let me say I live in a city where literally right across the street is 2 pizza joints, stores that sell chips and candy and anything else you really want. So as long as i go out and get these snacks before they close at 11pm. Its sooo easy to get my hands on.

 

It feels like an addiction. Like its all I can think about, its taken over my life. I will wake up in the morning after a binge and say NEVER again, but surely by the afternoon or evening i find myself eating these awful foods to feel better. I wake up feeling like a balloon. My face, my fingers, my arms, are all so much chubbier than I ever was. I will get depressed about the fact that I look so different now and eat to calm my anxiety.

 

I worry that my neighbours see my eating all these junk all the time so I will bring a backpack with me to these stores to hide what I have bought. Literally feel like I have a drug problem with eating.

 

Its so scary to me lately because I feel like there are signs being presented to me EVERYWHERE. For example, someone will be talking about how someone in their family has gained a lot of weight. Or a commerical on TV will talk about weight management etc. When people bring up their own weight struggles to me I cringe inside and want to run away and hide because it makes me reflect on myself and hope nobody has noticed. When it reality everyone who knows me of course has noticed.

 

I can't date right now. NO WAY, even though I want to, I can't get myself out there. All I can do is hide away in my room and dream of a better self that just seems to far out of reach for me. I have woken up today just shaking with anxiety because I can't take it anymore. Today I have told myself that I must go for a long walk, something I never do, but i always say I will. I want to clear my head, work up a REAL appetite, not just one to sugar, and make myself a healthy fulfilling meal.

 

I normally don't eat meals (unless I am at work and have a schedule to work around), but I just eat popcorn or chips, or donuts or candy.

 

 

For a mental image I would say I look healthy anywhere from 150-160 (biggest I want to be). I am female 5'6. Right now I am about 205lbs.

 

My lower stomach is my biggest struggle. The fact that before I always had a somewhat small waist and flat stomach to this kill me inside.

 

I need the courage to do my workout videos every day again, and eat right. I feel that because I have gained the weight so dramatically from just poor eating and limited physical activity once I begin a routine i could lose it fairly quickly.

 

I also worry about my health too. My risk of diabetes, heart problems and cancer have surely surfaced due to my habits. So it really is a combination of things here I am concerned about.

 

 

Thank you to whoever read this, I tried to keep it somewhat short and to the point. It means a lot to whoever may respond to me.

[deep_night]

im so sorry you;re upset *hugs*

i can relate cos im a very emotional eater myself keep it under control 70% of the time, but it's always lingering. i;ve been trying to lose weight for years, which i do, and then i ruin it by bingeing.

 

you know, behaviours like binge eating sometimes show escapist tendencies. people like us need to be very mentally aware and check in with our reason all the time. it can be exhausting. im actually about to step out and buy a notebook where i can reason with myself. but why do we try to escape from reality? probably because of a hard situation.. or because we have a general difficulty coping... i know i do. i dont have just eating, i always seek out opportunities to escape.

 

overeating is better than alcohol and drugs, but can still ruin your health if the foods are bad quality. diabetes and blood pressure and cholesterol... who wants these? :/

[pureinheart]

(((((((hugs))))))) it's not easy what you are going through. BTDT back in the day, wow. I remember coming home from work one day and making one of those 'cake lovers delight' cakes. I ate half of the batter and was afraid it would make me sick, so made myself sick (if you know what I mean). That was it in my mind, I had really hit a new low here. After that I changed my lifestyle and eating habits drastically.

[Buddhist]

Here's something to think about.....

 

High carb food actually fuels anxiety. How? Good bacteria in your intestines needs vegetable fibre to live, candida lives on pure sugars such as the food you are eating. When you throw your gut balance out you get anxiety from it. So that carb fix is actually making your anxiety worse. If you want to fix the anxiety you need to start eating a higher proportion of vegetable fibre, steamed vegetables are great! They have other health benefits too. If you switch over to steamed veggies as your main source of carbs you will drop that weight so fast and you'll hardly need to exercise because most vegetables (exclude potatoes) are actually low in calories too.

 

In my 20's I lived almost exclusively on bakery items. If it was made from white flour I ate it. I weighed about 40lbs more than I do now and could not get the weight off no matter what I did exercise wise. I suddenly switched over to eating steamed vegetables as the staple of my diet and guess what? I lost all of it in less than 3 months doing no exercise at all. Within those 3 months my taste preferences also changed to preferring savoury, non-starchy food. I cannot eat a bakery item now without feeling sick. That was 20yrs ago and I've put no weight back on since.

[Els]

For me, I find that I mostly binge when I deprive myself too much. It's why fasting or strict diets never worked for me. Here's the thing - your body has evolved over the years to compel you to get it the calories that it believes it needs. So if you skip lunch, you're setting yourself up for a huge binge later in the afternoon.

 

Rather than focusing on 'not binging', I suggest you focus on getting used to eating regular, healthy meals. Also, focus on how you can incorporate little treats into your day. A few chips with lunch are fine (buy the ones with tiny packets inside that are around 50 calories each, not the big packs). One or two squares of chocolate with dinner are fine. If you try to go cold turkey, you're only going to set yourself up for a huge rollercoaster ride.

[darkbloom]

I find that if I plan something (like a vacation to Hawaii where I'm going to be seen in a bathing suit) I can stick to eating right better. It gives you a goal and a timeline. Start small, don't try to cut out all the foods at once. Start eating in meals, then eating one healthy meal a day, and then two. Don't deprive yourself though. That's the fastest way to fall off of it.

 

The only thing you have to change is your mindset. You got this.

[Kelley]

I will tell you what really annoys me, people that say just eat salads and go down the gym and you won't be overweight! I was a binge eater for many years. When I was sad, when I was happy, when I was bored, even when I went out and ran I would binge eat when I came back! I do think it's an addiction like drugs, smoking and drinking. Except it's harder to quit when you need food to survive! I went to see a councillor because at the time it went totally out of control, it was everyday, I was overweight and the weight kept piling on. I had no confidence, no self esteem. I would cancel social engagements basically if I didn't have to leave the house I wouldn't, I basically had no life.

 

Through counseling I got to the bottom of it, and I developed new coping skills. It was tough but I did it. I even joined the gym! I cried when I left the first time, in the car because I felt so out of place and unfit. But over the weeks I made friends and they encouraged me to keep going. I changed what and how I ate and made it back to my target weight. I haven't binged in years, overindulged sometimes when out for a meal, but not binged. I think in some cases there are reasons behind the binges and instead of being told to exercise and watch what you eat, there should be counselling available to get to the root cause!

 

I know it can be a vicious circle I will lose a little weight then go to the gym, or go for walks, or start an exercise video at home. Tomorrow never comes. You just have to find the will power to start the exercise and stick with it, which will encourage you to eat better and walk past the fast food places. But most of all develop other coping strategies. Mine was the gym, baths, talking on the phone to my sister/friends and going for a walk. Another was just wrapping myself under the duvet for some comfort!

Edited October 5, 2016 by Kelley

[Kelley]

Basically what I'm saying is you need to force yourself out for those long walks, you have to force yourself to do the exercise videos. Before you know it you will have a routine, you will lose some weight and it will spur you on. Don't worry about what other people think, worry about you, out there improving yourself. Remember tomorrow never comes so start now. Take care.

[GemmaUK]

You need to get yourself sorted with real meals for the daytime.

No sugary rubbish.

 

You give yourself a sugar high all day and then stop and so you then get to almost diabetic coma levels so you need big time food each night.

 

You could easily ask for a diabetic test kit from your doc and you will see this is happening to you each day.

 

Sort yourself a good decent meal for the daytime - jacket potato, beans and cheese is good and will last you but there's not anywhere near as much sugar so you won't crave and need so badly.

 

I know I cannot tolerate high sugar food or drink - I have been through al that you are going through with your need to get a huge pizza late at night because you are about to faint.

My issue was with diet food though which also contains a heck of a lot of sugar or sugar substitutes which are worse than sugar.

 

PS. I gave up diets, did as above and had good big meals at lunch, lost several stone over 6 months and have kept it off - now 14 years later.

[RecentChange]

Hey OP - I get it, and the struggle is real! At times I am ashamed to admit it, but there was a point in my life when I was 65 pounds heavier than I am today.

 

I am not going to say getting the weight off, and keeping it off was easy, but once I got into a good routine that worked for me, it was much much easier than I ever imagined it could be.

 

For me, its ALL about routine. I eat almost the same thing for breakfast and lunch each weekday. I get out and exercise every work day as well.

 

Was it easy at first? No, but once I settled into it, got used to the routines, took a bit of hunger as a badge of pride instead of something to be placated with sugary foods - my life changed.

 

Here is the short version of what worked for me.

 

1. Decided THIS IS IT, I am CHANGING. Period, no more excuses, its doable, and I owe it to myself. You have to want it.

 

2. Took action. Cleaned out the frig and cupboards. Downloaded a food / exercise tracking app, and USED IT. Logged every damn thing that went in my mouth for months. I got out and MOVED every day. I started with walking 2 miles + stairs (now I run 3+ miles a day).

 

For me, high protein + lots of vegis was the answer. I have eggs (one whole, a few whites) or greek yogurt for breakfast. A apple for a snack, a light lunch (usually a riceless sushi roll) - dinner, often a big ol' giant salad with kale, brussel sprouts and other filling + nutritious vegis. Plus meat, maybe a salmon fillet, chicken thighs, pork chops, even steaks. I do not particularly avoid fat. I eat avocado daily, I eat meats, and not only the leanest cuts. I find fat + protein keep me satisfied.

 

Like you, I live down town in a urban city - I can SEE the store from my house where I could get ice cream and other "not good choices" - but you have to decide to choose yourself over them.

 

For my sweet tooth, I keep fruit etc around the house. If I am really jonesing for some ice cream for instance, I will have an apple with some peanut butter - and then revisit if I STILL want ice cream - the vast majority of the time the craving will have passed.

 

For ME - things that help - when I really don't feel like exercising, when I am out on that first mile of my run thinking "this sucks! I don't want to do this" I remind myself about how good I felt after finishing my run the day before. I remind myself I feel like throwing in the towel often, but feel great when I don't.

 

With food, again, I remind myself about how I feel healthy and good, and proud of myself if I ate sensibly all day. I'll look at a tempting treat, and remind myself that the pleasure it brings is very short lived, and can't hold a candle to the way taking care of my health makes me feel.

 

Oh and I will think - that thing is more calories than I can burn running, not worth it!

 

Basically I had to become my own cheerleader and coach. I feel proud when I stay on track, and when I fall of the wagon, I am the coach saying well, you F'ed, but no point in wallowing around in it - get up! And get back on track! You'll be happy you did. I TALK to myself about these things every freaking day!

 

Right now, I am psyc'ing up for my run. I started to make excuses on why I could pass, I had a light dinner yesterday right? I could skip run today..... NO!! Because falling into excuses is what knocks me out of my routine, and a down spiral starts.

 

I have learned to stick with it, and when I do fail, not to beat myself up, but to get right back on that horse.

[TiredFamilyGuy]

As a middle aged man, more overweight than you, I am in no position to offer advice.

 

Except for this: emotional reasons for eating (comfort, distraction, displacement) cannot be tackled by a skipped lunch. They are about how you view yourself and your life.

 

Best of luck with sorting out the whys and wherefores in a way that makes you go "Aha!" instead of "I hate myself".

[Tinie]

I completely sympathize with you, OP.

 

I didn't have quite an extreme problem, but I also used to skip meals, eat loads of junk and nothing but junk all day, and it was a miracle if I ate anything green ever. While I was always very thin, I had this horrible acne that made me look like I had the black plague or something. I later found out that I have PCOS so out the junk food went.

 

I found that changing your diet too radically will make it harder to stick to it. Other posters covered good points. I personally started off by having a good breakfast and good dinner, and junk at lunch. That way I was still having a junk meal but at least two other meals weren't junk. Then I cut the junk out of lunch and made all my meals healthy.

 

I now eat mostly veggies and fruits, organic and low GI (glycemic index). I am also pescetarian so I eat fish but no other meat for protein, as well as eggs, greek yogurt, and a large variety of nuts and seeds. If I want something sweet, I fill my cupboards and fridge with a large variety of low GI fruits (because variety stops me from getting bored). I also like raw dark chocolate (76% or higher). And of course, a small amount of grains per day- oatmeal, brown rice, quinoa or kasha. My acne has since disappeared without a trace and honestly I love my skin so much now that I don't want to go back to eating junk! The results are just so great!

 

As Buddist pointed out, you can end up losing desire for junk through healthy eating. I can't stomach donuts, pies, white pasta etc anymore. Sugary foods make my teeth hurt and I feel sick from them, and pasta is just so bland and boring compared to the delicious veggies and fruits I eat. There are also lots of recipes online that are quick and easy to make because healthy food doesn't have to be boring.

 

Also, try not to shop when you're hungry! I find that its harder to stop myself from buying junk (I still don't buy it! Just more resistance though) if I'm hungry.

[truthtripper]

Hew, there's a possibility that your body is not producing enough leptin. Leptin is a hormone that the body releases into the bloodstream when we have had enough to eat, it makes us feel full. People whose bodies don't produce enough of leptin will continue to eat beyond the amount they need because they don't get that full feeling.

 

In fact recent scientific studies show that this is main reason for obesity, rather than people lacking discipline with their eating habits.

 

https://authoritynutrition.com/leptin-101/

 

Most doctors are ignorant of this new research and will probably prescribe you an antidepressant and give you some information on healthy eating.

 

Go to a doctor you trust and say you want to have a blood test to test your leptin levels. I wouldn't be surprised if your levels are very low.

[Noproblem]

I am so sorry about what you are going through

I am in a similar situation myself, I am not doing binge eating, but I eat a lot in the last three weeks, and that's all because of the stress of my college.

 

But I'll give you advice when I was healthier hope it can help

 

First, join a gym! It helps .. even if you eat every day if you go the gym every day that takes away from the calories. Gym helps if you go daily freaking day. I know it worked for me when I used to go to the gym every day. I didn't lose much weight because again I love to eat, but I never gained any as well which is important, and my body looked way better.

 

Secondly, purchase a Fitbit! and add friends there, not your real life friends, no strangers, and you will compete with them for walking more .. when I first got my fitbit I lost 8 pounds after 2 months, sadly again organic chemistry happened, and I became skipping the gym and eating more and more out of the stress.

 

Thirdly, plan your meals, and I can see you can afford it so heck sees a nutritionist and find yourself a trainer

 

Trust me 1500 dollar on a trainer is nothing compared to how much you spend every day on junk food.

 

Fourth, be on Fitbit pal, it helps tremendously to track down your calories and what you eat. I helped me a lot.

 

fifth, don't be too hard on yourself (but be strict) you will get there, just believe in yourself.

 

As a starter, just reduce everything you at every day to half.

[vla1120]

I can sympathize. I am especially frustrated with myself because a year and a half ago, I dieted (eating properly, not starving myself) and exercised daily and lost 80 pounds. I did it with the support of my husband, but then his support turned into nagging and guilt trips. I got down to 131 (I'm 5'4") and I should have been happy with that. I feel like I could have maintained. But he kept nagging me to lose more weight. I used that pressure as an excuse to binge when he was not home. I gained back 40 pounds.

 

I bought a Fitbit. I downloaded My Fitness Pal and paid for the full version. I joined a gym. I have been paying the monthly fees for about 4 months, now. Everything is in place for me to be successful, so WHY haven't I taken the steps necessary??? I still binge. Not as much, because I don't live with him anymore (but that's another story for another forum...) so I do not feel the need to rebel. Ugh. I just need to do it for me, for my health. Why is that not enough to motivate me!? I'm not a lazy person. I have a good job. I am responsible and reliable. I am always on the move! What the heck!?

 

Maybe I will come out here once a day and read this to get my butt in gear. I should probably just pack a bag with clothes for the gym and go EVERY DAY after work. That would be a good start! I'll motivate you if you motivate me!

[Kamille]

There's a lot of good advice here but in your shoes my first step would be to find a good therapist. You need to address the underlying reasons behind the binge-eating.

 

Big hugs. You can handle this.