what456 Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 so, it does happen? have you had friends that this has happen to as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J dub Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by what456 so, it does happen? have you had friends that this has happen to as well. Yep, even my dad did it!! Tudor, how long did it take to come back? Did you maintain NC or did she ignore you? Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by J dub Yep, even my dad did it!! Tudor, how long did it take to come back? Did you maintain NC or did she ignore you? I called her at first off and on to check on her because I felt bad knowing that I had hurt her and totally blind sided her with leaving. She thought everything was hunky dory. She told me to stop calling her because it was confusing to her. So we didn't talk for almost 2 months. Her sisters wedding was coming up and she called me after 2 months to see if I was still going as we had been together for 2 years and her family had become close to me. She said she wanted me to go so I gave in and did. We did a lot of talking that night and she and more or less made me own to why I left. I guess after saying it out loud to her and confronting my fears with her it just sounded foolish to me to be running from a good thing because I was scared of it. Link to post Share on other sites
what456 Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Tudor, that's what i am trying to figure out with my ex. he seems to be scared but at the same time i don't know if he likes me or not. he claims that he has feelings for me but can't give me what i want (a serious relationship) when i saw him last it seemed like he was really in to me..i was treated like a princess...and when i came home...he was acting weird/distant. (this was a LDR). The last we time we talked he said alot of mean things to me for NO reason at all. he told me he didn't love me and was being rude. i couldnt understand where this behavior was coming from seeing as though we had an AWSOME weekend the week before. he hurt me. i love him...but after this we may never talk again. i sent him a text message to to see if we could part on better terms but he hasnt responded back. and honestly, i will see him in about two weeks. he says he is not with anyone...he told me he wanted to see me again...and then this. i don't know he confused me really bad. i know he was in a relationship for 5 years and his fiance cheated on him and married someone else. so i know he has issues. but i love him and want to help him..he says he can't. i am confused... Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Is it easier for them to come back if they arent dating anyone else?? How long does the fun of being single last, like going out with the boys? Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by what456 i am confused... All I can tell you is that I confused my g/f at the time pretty bad as well. I did a 180 on her and I was some what rude about it to because it was the only way I could walk away. If I was nice about it I knew I would get sucked back in so I was some what mean and it so hard to do that to her because I really did love her but felt I had to walk away any ways. All you can do is put him on the spot and try to get the answers to your questions so that you at least have that or you move on and maybe in the long run it will work out. I think these things don't work out the majority of the time and people just go there own ways. You could use your female magic to rope him back in but I highly encourage you to let him do it on his own or you will have repeat ship jumper again in due time. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 OMG mine left me so confused too...and he was so rude. It was completely out of left field, didnt see it coming... one day i loveyou, the next its not working out...and to top it off he took a check from me the day before for our vacation we had planned. We planned 2 vacations together... I think he got scared and ran too but who knows..maybe he just stopped caring. Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Sucks that some of us make it harder than it needs to be. Maybe these guys just don't know how to talk about what is going on with them so they run from it instead of confronting it. It's hard to say what you should do because there is chance that maybe he was just ready for something else in which case you need to move on even though it is hard. I was lucky that my now wife didn't move on even though I told her to. But like I said before, %s are that these things just happen for what ever reason and people must move on. Link to post Share on other sites
what456 Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 yeah your right....i think it's time for me to move on. what do you think i should do when i see him...i have no idea! Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 I know that I am iniating NC now, not that we really talk anyways but seriously I have been nice thruout all of this and its gotten me no where... time to make him suffer and i hate to be that person but seriously its not fair. I do love him with all my heart but he has done a 180 as well and i do think that in time he will regret his decision, after the partying is over.... You can only have so much fun and then you are left with a void in your life where someone important used to be. Link to post Share on other sites
what456 Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Queenie, I can relate. i have been nice so far as well and we weren't even together! Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 You said you will see him 2 weeks right? Well you can either feel things out and confront about what he wants and where is going or you just keep it simple. Say hi if you like, after all you can still be friendly with out crossing lines with him. But don't set your self up for dissapoint if you by thinking as soon as he sees you he will come running back. Trust me he will be tempted to try and get one last dip in the pool so to speak so you have to have your guard up no matter how tempting it is. Just because he may want to have a roll in the hay doesn't mean he wants to get back together and that will just start your emotions back to square one and confuse you even more. If you guys wind up talking take the opportunity to ask him what happened, why did you just jump ship when things seemed to be going so good?, etc. If you feel the need to get answers then ask the brutal questions that don't allow room for him to dance around with vague answers. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 I think if they know they can stil have you or even have your attention then they are not interested at all...once they know you have moved on and walked away, they panic... Who knows tho because im just speculating but mine does email from time to time, if he wanted nothing to do with me, he shouldnt care how my vacation was!! Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 btw i tried asking that question and i got no answers...he said he couldnt explain it, it was nothing i did or didnt do, its just that something was missing from our relationship and it was something that "trying" wasnt going to fix!! The more and more i think of some of the things he told me the more mad i get at myself for still responding to his emails... Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by queenie01 btw i tried asking that question and i got no answers...he said he couldnt explain it, it was nothing i did or didnt do, its just that something was missing from our relationship and it was something that "trying" wasnt going to fix!! The more and more i think of some of the things he told me the more mad i get at myself for still responding to his emails... I would have had him define what that "something" was? I mean every person knows what is important to them to have in a relationship. They know what exceptions they can live with and what are deal breakers for them and must have no matter what. More often then not the vague answer is because the truth is not something he wants to just out and say because he knows he will hurt your feelings. If doesn't have any thing solid to account for his actions then he just is ready to move on in which case maybe you need to also. I know that sucks but once you give the the **** or get off the pot option and they chose to get off then you have to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 You are absolutely right...that is why I am chosing to walk away now. Its not fair to me that he has access to me the way he obviously wants it right now. What i think is SOOO funny is that if he was 100% over me, he shouldnt be emailing me....just leave me be. I can almost garantee that by me changing my gym schedule and having no contact with him, he will contact me in some way...if not I will be shocked. The way our relationship ended so abruptly with no warning and no real reason, leaves me to believe he got scared and ran but no one really knows but him, so i cant sit around and try to figure it out anymore. I was an AWESOME gf, he even told me when he broke up with me that it wasnt an easy decision because i have done more for him than anyone has...ultimately, unless he soon meets the girl of his dreams he will regret his decision, at least i think so! Link to post Share on other sites
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