Petty Nitpicking Or Major Problem??

[MsJayne]

Scenario: A couple of months ago I met a great guy online, Mr Right-I-Hope, and so far we're pretty keen on each other and both think we might have met The One. I will add that he is very handsome, is intelligent, sensitive, and has a great sense of humour. He also happens to be quite well off, but this isn't important to me as I'm reasonably comfortable myself. In November we're going to meet in person and see if it translates to real life.

So, this morning I'm talking to my sister and she brings up Mr R-I-H's pending visit and gets on to the subject of how things can be different in real life than they are via the internet, (like I don't know that), and I said yes, in real life sometimes little things can get on your nerves and make the person unsuitable and I jokingly mentioned an old boyfriends constant sniffing which drove me nuts. So then she says, "Well, speaking of bad habits, don't take offence at this, but you know, you eat too fast. It's not very ladylike and might put him off you." Now, I don't push my food 'round my plate and take an hour to eat a meal, but nor do I go at it like a starving dog at a beef steak. Also, being as Mr R-I-H and myself regularly speak via Skype, during which I sometimes am eating my dinner so he's seen me eating a number of times, I'm pretty sure that the way I eat is perfectly normal, and I have managed to eat at some very fine establishments and never been thrown out for bad table manners. I feel that she is jealous and is just finding a vent for that jealousy with petty nitpicking. She has a less-than-happy marriage and is often moaning about financial problems.

Anyone want to comment on why they think she would say something like that?

[ja123]

Yeah, it sounds like she's jealous or something, as she said it in a way to put you down and not try to give you helpful advice.

 

 

Keep your distance from her, if she's negative and puts you down. You may want to consider not hanging out with her much when your new beau visits.

 

 

Good luck with your visit in November. Hope it works out.

[Methodical]

Do you get along with your sister or is there lingering, off the wall animosity?

 

You mentioned excessive sniffing drove you nuts. Perhaps your eating habit, fast or whatnot, is off-putting to her. Without just coming right out and saying so, maybe she assumes it's bothersome to others too and she is giving you a head ups - trying to be helpful, not hurtful.

 

Good intentions can get misconstrued. Let's face it, nobody enjoys criticism, and sometimes the truth hurts. Without knowing the type of relationship you have with your sister, it's hard to say what her intent was. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was trying to be helpful.

[MsJayne]

Do you get along with your sister or is there lingering, off the wall animosity?

 

You mentioned excessive sniffing drove you nuts. Perhaps your eating habit, fast or whatnot, is off-putting to her. Without just coming right out and saying so, maybe she assumes it's bothersome to others too and she is giving you a head ups - trying to be helpful, not hurtful.

 

Good intentions can get misconstrued. Let's face it, nobody enjoys criticism, and sometimes the truth hurts. Without knowing the type of relationship you have with your sister, it's hard to say what her intent was. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was trying to be helpful.

 

We get along pretty well, but she is known in our family for making snide or spiteful comments and being jealous of other's happiness. I might add that she's a very big girl and will sit and cram her own mouth full 'til her cheeks are bulging. I wish I'd had the presence of mind to point that out, LOL.

[Methodical]

You know how often you have communicated with your bf, and to what extent. You have eaten in his virtual presence and that didn't bring up any red flags or put him off. I think you'll be fine. I suggest you don't overthink things, be yourself and enjoy the one on one time you'll finally get to share . Let your sister's comment roll off your shoulder, especially if she is known for being a negative Nellie.

 

Good Luck and Have Fun!

[Miss Peach]

I have a friend who acts like this. The rest of our friendship is really good and he's always there for me so I accept this part of his personality. I just ignore it and try to not let it get to your head.

 

I had an ex who offered to get me plastic surgery and a few other comments that I let get to my head for too long. Don't let that crap affect your self esteem.

 

You're probably fine as long as you have manners in front of him.