Messed up bad with guy :(

[VeveCakes]

I don't see any games from him at all...actually I see him making a huge effort to keep things going (for what reason who knows with how you have been acting??).

 

You need a major time out...and try to be nice to this guy. He seems alright.

[ExpatInItaly]

Have you absorbed absolutely nothing from your previous threads?

[Sweetfish]

I consider myself a pretty easygoing guy when it comes to relationships, and the women I have dated say the same about me. I know women can be emotional sometimes and it's just something I take into account. I think most men know this, and we let a lot of things slide. One thing I will not let slide is a girl who keeps breaking things off with me. If a girl wants to break things off, I let her go. A lot of problems can be worked on if people stay together, but someone always threatening to walk away is a lost cause, IMO.

 

I can't be sure, but maybe your BF was a bit hesitant to commit because you keep walking away? I know I would be. Then again, your instincts could be right about him, and walking away might be for the best.

 

 

I guarantee cookie is seeking out introverted guys as they seem more of a safe bet. :trusting;

 

Problem is introverted guys are very observant, quiet, and APPEAR suspicious because they are very reserved.

 

We are very good listeners as well.. next thing you know your talking about you, next thing your nervous, next thing your talking about your ex and trust.

 

Now your scrambling to correct your self and getting your bearings

 

All were doing is watching this unfold and saying...

 

Ummm. No.

 

This is all an assumption... but how I visualize it..

I really think you need to just be your self and relax.

 

Question... how is your relationship with your father?

[aurelius99]

Sometimes...the best people for each other are not necessarily the ones who have "strong feelings" for each other. Rather, they are the ones who truly make each other's lives better and are grounded.

[Miss Spider]

I guarantee cookie is seeking out introverted guys as they seem more of a safe

 

Question... how is your relationship with your father?

 

 

Expat-I have learned a lot and the insight I've received from everyone here including you has opened my eyes to my unhealthy behavior. But I'm still not convinced he wasn't trying to Fwb me despite him denying it. I feel hurt.

 

Sweetfish - think cuz I'm an introvert myself I like them more, but yea I agree with everything else you said seems spot on. My relationship with my dad is great. Are you referring to where I told this guy my dad was the only guy I've ever had to/could trust. Because yes it's true. I'm a daddy's girl and don't trust strange men by default. Maybe that is a bad thing, but I think it's also foolhardy to be 100% trusting of everyone you meet til proven otherwise. I think it needs to be earned.

 

 

Anyways,

I'm just happened to go to his profile today like 2 weeks after I said goodbye and told him I'm blocking him. Just curiosity. He's changed his main pic on the app to a pic he had taken /sent to me and changed his status from looking for casual dating to looking for relationship " lol what a jerk and a liar

Edited November 4, 2016 by Cookiesandough

[usa1ah]

Expat-I have learned a lot and the insight I've received from everyone here including you has opened my eyes to my unhealthy behavior. But I'm still not convinced he wasn't trying to Fwb me despite him denying it. I feel hurt.

 

Sweetfish - think cuz I'm an introvert myself I like them more, but yea I agree with everything else you said seems spot on. My relationship with my dad is great. Are you referring to where I told this guy my dad was the only guy I've ever had to/could trust. Because yes it's true. I'm a daddy's girl and don't trust strange men by default. Maybe that is a bad thing, but I think it's also foolhardy to be 100% trusting of everyone you meet til proven otherwise. I think it needs to be earned.

 

 

Anyways,

I'm just happened to go to his profile today like 2 weeks after I said goodbye and told him I'm blocking him. Just curiosity. He's changed his main pic on the app to a pic he had taken /sent to me and changed his status from looking for casual dating to looking for relationship " lol what a jerk and a liar

 

Maybe not. Him changing things might be to clear up the confusion the two of you had. Him not wanting to get into that type of situation again. So he changed things so there is no doubt that he is looking for a relationship and not fwb. I could be wrong but that would be my take on it.

[Miss Spider]

At first I was so wary of nc and it drove me mad. I so badly wanted to reach out cuz I missed him, worried I would lose him, afraid he'd never come back,etc., but I stood firm with the advice given here and kept NC. Well bad news is he didn't come back. The good news is I don't even care anymore! I can't believe it. I woke up about a week ago expecting another day of heartache. Instead, when I thought about him, I didn't feel that overwhelming desire to have him back, but a 'WTF was I thinking?' feeling. It's almost as if the blinders I had on were taken off and I could see all his flaws, our relationships flaws clearly. And the attraction waa gone. It's almost revulsion lol. I think he's a good person and all, but romantic feelings have completely left. A few days before this, I inadvertently heard he has a new woman and I thought this would make me feel something, like a pang of jealousy or something , but nope. I really can't believe this so I had to write about it. I wish I knew for sure why this happened. Maybe I just fall out of love easy,but I didn't get busy or even stop thinking about him so I truly think it has a lot to do with NC. Acceptance and moving on was something I feared, but there was nothing to fear. I'm so grateful for this community and hope you all find peace and love.

[Satu]

Good for you!

 

Now walk into the sunshine

[marky00]

Glad it worked for you, but we are all different and had different circumstances etc.

 

 

I am almost 4 months NC and I definitely don't feel indifferent but the relationship was almost 10 years.

 

 

I think what tends to delay the NC healing is when you hit the guilt stage where you look at all the things you did wrong. I still go back to that stage occasionally.

 

 

Some of us will never reach total indifference. Glad you did but.

[cucumber95]

Well what if you have seen him? he would come back? what then? are you sure that you don't feel a little bit?

[marky00]

Well what if you have seen him? he would come back? what then? are you sure that you don't feel a little bit?

 

Yeh exactly.

 

 

A lot of people say they are indifferent without testing it out.

 

 

If you saw him out in person with his wife and cute kids in his arms, u think you would still be indifferent?

 

 

I think you have just reached the point where you have been able to disconnect enough to allow yourself to heal. Sometimes but you need those little setbacks down the line to give you the final push.

[Noideanow]

as a woman when somebody makes you jealous you feel less/nothing towards that person, a way of selfprotection maybe, you walk away and if he loves you he better come running immediately:cool: and tell you he only did it to make you jealous:( the only way he can be forgiven:o

Edited November 14, 2016 by Noideanow

[jaQ3]

Glad it worked for you, but we are all different and had different circumstances etc.

 

 

I am almost 4 months NC and I definitely don't feel indifferent but the relationship was almost 10 years.

 

 

I think what tends to delay the NC healing is when you hit the guilt stage where you look at all the things you did wrong. I still go back to that stage occasionally.

 

 

Some of us will never reach total indifference. Glad you did but.

 

Man, Debbie Downers over here. Regardless, it's obviously a HUGE step forward!

[Kelley]

Good for you we are all different in how we heal that is what makes us unique. Stay happy :-)

Edited November 15, 2016 by Kelley