missingu Posted October 2, 2016 Share Posted October 2, 2016 I have been at my job 15 years and 2 months ago we found out the whole place is moving in another 2 months. I have been feeling miserable, hopeless and sad. My job is 10 mins away and they are moving more than an hour away with traffic and tolls are not compensated for. Ever since we found out i have got a huge crush on a coworker i have always got along with. I never felt this way about him until we found out and we are all looking for other jobs. I have a boyfriend who i love very much and i hate this stupid crush. Why cant i just be normal and not care about work people. I feel sad a lot and stressed about getting another job. And this stupid crush is making things worse. Sometimes i feel helpless is this normal?? Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 Yes, it's normal. Forget about your stupid crush, you're probably only feeling that way because you're experiencing a loss of your current work space and routine. Focus harder on having a healthy, happy relationship with your boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted October 3, 2016 Share Posted October 3, 2016 I think it's normal to feel invested into a work place that you've been at for that long. I've been with my company for 15 years as well, and the thought of changing jobs sounds stressful to me. As for your crush, unless you really want to break up with your bf you shouldn't be obsessing over him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author missingu Posted October 4, 2016 Author Share Posted October 4, 2016 Thanks you guys. I am a bit depressed at the moment i think thats what i am putting it down to Link to post Share on other sites
Author missingu Posted October 7, 2016 Author Share Posted October 7, 2016 My coworker and i got along great. Laughing, joking etc. He used to come look for me and was always trying to get my attention by teasing me. I realized i have developed a crush on him. I get awkward and i started avoiding him as i have a boyfriend i love very much and he is also married. I feel guilty. He was still normal until a couple of days ago and he started avoiding me and seems upset with me. I want us to be able to get on. But i think i stuffed up. What do you think?? Link to post Share on other sites
Nowty V Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 I think you have a boyfriend you love very much. The co-worker is of no importance. You are there to earn money to pay your way in life. Work is work, you should not try to turn it into a circus, you could lose your job or your boyfriend or both. Focus and be aware. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 He is married. Be grateful he's leaving you alone. Unless of course you want to start a sad affair where you're used for sex on the side forever. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 Maybe he has been told by the boss to calm it and get on with his work. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 Maybe he realized you have inappropriate feelings for him and is avoiding you to put out the flame. Leave him alone because you have a crush on him and I don't think you bf nor your co-workers wife would like that. Besides you are looking for another job anyway and that will help you to get over this crush. Good the company is moving. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 Either he realized you have feelings OR he realized you are not going to sleep with him, so now he's moving on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author missingu Posted October 7, 2016 Author Share Posted October 7, 2016 Hey guys i am not even thinking of sex, the attraction isn't sexual. I am not a cheater and i feel guilty as it is. I just wonder why everytime i get along with someone so well i develop a strong attraction and it seems to come out of nowhere. I am so sick and tired of it. It seemed to develop when someone asked me what the deal was with him and i and said they think i like him. Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 Hey guys i am not even thinking of sex, the attraction isn't sexual. I am not a cheater and i feel guilty as it is. I just wonder why everytime i get along with someone so well i develop a strong attraction and it seems to come out of nowhere. I am so sick and tired of it. It seemed to develop when someone asked me what the deal was with him and i and said they think i like him. Regardless of how you want to classify it, a 'crush' on a married man isn't good. Unless this is happening with women and people of all ages, there has to be some underlying sexual/physical aspect to this attraction. If the guy was 97 and bald and toothless, would you still have a crush on him? The fact that you're on a love website asking about this married guy and why he's stopped talking to you speaks volumes. Might want to look at your relationship with your bf and see if you're actually happy with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author missingu Posted October 7, 2016 Author Share Posted October 7, 2016 I am happy with my boyfriend. Why couldn't this guy just leave me alone? He is married, he should know better than to seek me out at work constantly, tease me constantly, i mean who doesn't like the attention single or not?? It doesn't mean im not happy and it doesnt mean im going to cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 Hey guys i am not even thinking of sex, the attraction isn't sexual. I am not a cheater and i feel guilty as it is. I just wonder why everytime i get along with someone so well i develop a strong attraction and it seems to come out of nowhere. I am so sick and tired of it. It seemed to develop when someone asked me what the deal was with him and i and said they think i like him. You said you're attracted so you may not be going to have sex, but you're thinking about sex. Anyway, it's not all about you. He's a man. So he's probably thinking about sex, whether he was going to go through with it or not. If he wasn't thinking about sex, then he discovered that you were and it got awkward and he decided it had gone far enough. If he was thinking about sex, you said you backed off a little, so he knew he may as well stop. Flirty people attracted to each other or even if it's one-way, and we don't know here, they're cheating even if they're not sleeping together because it's disloyal. Your insistence that you just want to be friends is betrayed by your actions and admitting you flirt as well as the fact this got under your skin enough to write to Loveshack. If it was "just friends" and no emotions at all involved or lust, this wouldn't be any issue to write about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 I am happy with my boyfriend. Why couldn't this guy just leave me alone? He is married, he should know better than to seek me out at work constantly, tease me constantly, i mean who doesn't like the attention single or not?? It doesn't mean im not happy and it doesnt mean im going to cheat. It does mean you have some inner issues to work out. You're not a victim. It takes two to tango. You can't flirt with someone unless they're flirting back with you. YOU liked the attention. It is not normal to have a partner you're supposedly happy with and then get pissed off because some married man isn't giving you attention at work anymore. He probably realized it was a stupid thing to be doing since you're not worth losing his wife over. How would your bf feel if he knew what was going on and how you feel about this man? Single or not, I wouldn't give a crap about some attention from a man at work or anywhere else unless I wanted him. Guess you have to ask yourself why you need so much attention and why your boyfriend's attention clearly isn't enough for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author missingu Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 Well today i spoke to my boyfriend about this and i felt bad. But now i am glad he knows. I dont feel as strong of an attraction already but its still there. Maybe because it was my little secret and its not anymore i am glad we talked about it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author missingu Posted October 15, 2016 Author Share Posted October 15, 2016 I have since found out how some men talk behind my back. Accusing other male coworkers of sleeping with me. The guy in question was one of the guys who asked if another coworker was sleeping with me. The guy was disgusted in how the other men are talking and came and told me. Big turn off. Link to post Share on other sites
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