cucumber95 Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 So I am thinking to send "thank you and sorry" type letter, but few weeks ago she said that I should not contact her, but I don't want to make contact with her, just want her to know that I am sorry for what happend, and to thank you her for great times I had with her. Should I send it? Link to post Share on other sites
Mi7522 Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 I don't think you should send her anything, you are hoping for a response from her that you probably won't get and if you get one it won't be the response your are hoping for which will make you want to send her another letter. Just leave her be and if she wants to contact you she will. By sending her a letter when she has asked for NC then in fact you are going against her wishes and contacting her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 I don't know your story, but when you F up in a relationship women love apologies, for you to acknowledge her pain if you caused it. I personally think she would appreciate the letter if your genuine and not having some different motives. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 she said that I should not contact her There's your answer. You shouldn't send it even if she hadn't said don't contact her, but this makes what you should do very clear. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cucumber95 Posted October 7, 2016 Author Share Posted October 7, 2016 I don't hope that she is going to come back / write back, I really want her to know that I know that I Fuc*ed up, that I am really sorry what I did. I don't have any motives, I just want her to not hate me, if she wants to stay no contact, I'm fine with that, I just realised that I wasn't ok with her, I did lot of things which I should not, I want her to know that. But I don't want to make her hate me more by sending that lette :/ I don't know what to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 I don't hope that she is going to come back / write back, I really want her to know that I know that I Fuc*ed up, that I am really sorry what I did. I don't have any motives, I just want her to not hate me, if she wants to stay no contact, I'm fine with that, I just realised that I wasn't ok with her, I did lot of things which I should not, I want her to know that. But I don't want to make her hate me more by sending that lette :/ I don't know what to do. Yeah. I know. I was sorry too and apologized to my ex-wife over and over again. All it did was make me seem weak, lame, and pathetic in her eyes. Don't do it, young man. Just learn from your experience and be better for the next lady that comes into your life. Show her through your actions that you're now a better man. Link to post Share on other sites
benpom Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 So I am thinking to send "thank you and sorry" type letter, but few weeks ago she said that I should not contact her, but I don't want to make contact with her, just want her to know that I am sorry for what happend, and to thank you her for great times I had with her. Should I send it? If you have done something wrong, then making an apology is a good idea. Apology is the first step to making amendments. But don't over-apologize. Overdoing it will make you look weak. You can only get someone back by attraction, but by begging. Admitting fault and taking your responsibility makes you look responsible; Over apologizing makes you look unattractive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cucumber95 Posted October 7, 2016 Author Share Posted October 7, 2016 Yes you are right, I said sorry to her (over fb), and she laughed and said that my sorry doesn't mean anything, that is mean ****.. By writing to her, I will show that I did not change, because she asked for something and I did not keep it. Thanks guys. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 (edited) Give it a month. Maybe a little less, maybe longer... depends how you feel. Do also take into consideration their own feelings too. Apologizing, acknowledging your mistakes during and after the R/S, also in a way that you are not fully contacting them is a respectably good idea, however if you were to do this, you'd need to give it some real, deep thought and enough time. You are still obviously healing, I'm sure she is too. She needs time to heal and move onto things that doesn't involve you or anything in relation to you. Bringing up a letter or something will only trigger her feelings and the way she feels towards you. Nine times out of 10, it's not positive feelings. Let her figure out herself in the meantime, let yourself figure out you. Once you've settled onto a formal, sincere letter or an approach of some sort that doesn't require you seeing her, I'm sure it would be appreciated. Time is the key factor here. Sending it straight away or not giving it time, will be potentially an entire different outcome if you were to wait a while. Edited October 7, 2016 by DarrenB 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cucumber95 Posted October 7, 2016 Author Share Posted October 7, 2016 She has moved on, she has dating site already, she had it week after breakup... but Thanks Darren, as always you give great support. We did not contact for about 17 days. I did not seen her from 28 of august :/ I will wait until NC will be around 30 days and see what to do. Thanks again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
benpom Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 She has moved on, she has dating site already, she had it week after breakup... but Thanks Darren, as always you give great support. We did not contact for about 17 days. I did not seen her from 28 of august :/ I will wait until NC will be around 30 days and see what to do. Thanks again. That's tough. While you are doing NC, go out more and meet new people. Hope you get better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted October 7, 2016 Share Posted October 7, 2016 She has moved on, she has dating site already, she had it week after breakup... but Thanks Darren, as always you give great support. We did not contact for about 17 days. I did not seen her from 28 of august :/ I will wait until NC will be around 30 days and see what to do. Thanks again. You are very much welcome. Always happy to offer support and enlighten people, due to my own personal experience/s and knowledge. I will say, just because people do things, it's not entirely because they are completely moving on. Some people do it out of spite, revenge, to forget or to have a 'rebound' as people would say. Like I've said before, she's young, so it's mandatory for her to do this. Don't take it too personally. Good, keep it that way. Focus on yourself and change in yourself, if you feel it is necessary to do. Take time and think of self-preservation and fulfillment. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cucumber95 Posted December 26, 2016 Author Share Posted December 26, 2016 I just wanted to update that thread. I did send her and her family a card for christmas, with only wishes and "happy new year". I had little hope that I will get "thank you" in response on FB? well I got nothing, it feels bad but at least now I know to not waste my time anymore. Regarding my other thread about being broke up, it got lot better after those months, still sometimes I feel sad, but it is lot better. Now I am focusing on myself Thanks for helping me out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MeadowFlower Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 Did you end up saying sorry? Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted January 4, 2017 Share Posted January 4, 2017 I just wanted to update that thread. Regarding my other thread about being broke up, it got lot better after those months, still sometimes I feel sad, but it is lot better. Now I am focusing on myself Thanks for helping me out. Great to hear. Keep it up and maintain that focus and new mindset! You'll find a new love in no time 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cucumber95 Posted January 9, 2017 Author Share Posted January 9, 2017 Did you end up saying sorry? No, I just wished merry christmas to her and her family. Great to hear. Keep it up and maintain that focus and new mindset! You'll find a new love in no time Thanks Darren, if not you I would probabaly still cry, you explained to me everything so well, thanks again. Thanks everybody for helping me out in that hard period of time I had. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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