katiebour Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 I was with my ex for 3 and a half years until he ended it in January. Since then I've dated quite a bit, had some new and interesting bedpartners, moved to a different state, found a job, and am working overtime like crazy. I still dream about him at least once a week- and every time I do I wake up missing him and thinking about him. I still love him- and I keep wondering if we'd still be together if I'd made different choices, or if, sometime down the road, if I just pay off all my bills, work hard, and lose weight, we could be together again. I had a lot of self-improvement to do in the relationship, and I've done a fair amount already- got my driver's license and a car for the first time at the age of 25, so I'm no longer dependent on anyone for transportation. I'm working like crazy to pay my bills and become self-sufficient. I've joined activities to fill my time and to participate on my own without needing a partner to be involved. Sigh... Any input anyone has would be appreciated. Does anyone else dream about their ex a lot? When does it go away? How do I stop loving him? Is it just a matter of time, or finding a new love, or what? I'm tired of missing him. Link to post Share on other sites
head/heels Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 it is all normal...dont worry...keep working on yourself as a person probably the self doubt is creeping into your mind and making you feel like you wont ever find someone or be happy and all that nonsense....just keep evolving from now on and keep being a better person and you will find what you are loooking for...as for the dreams...they come with it... i have been broken up with for about11 months now and i still dream of her....and think of her, but not like i used to and i was the one who was broken up with too so it took some time...but now i am happy healthy wealthy and wise bc i made myself a better person and shored up all the things i wanted to but never had the gumption bc i thought the person was perfectly happy with me..so dont sweat it for 1 sec... make sure that you fix yourself first, then you can find happiness in others! i suggest working out or doing something active everyday! i cannot believe how much that helped me, plus it got me a killer bod and the girls like that ...it is amazing what a new outlook and fitness can attract...you deserve to be whole again, so dont worry about what you are missing with him.....that part is over, now it is time for you to shine..make him see what he gave up! even if you dont see him or know mutual friends, somehow someway it will get back to him! and he will kick himself..... here are some things that i have found that helped me... 1. have some goals -whether it be $, work, fitness, diet, nutrition, anything! 2. think positive- everything else is old 3. surroud yourself with +, and happy people 4. work towards something you always wanted ...car, lasik, better bod, marathon, reading war and peace backwards...etc 5. get a makeover, complete with hair, tan, clothes, 6. turn off the tv and do something 7. eat like they tell ya in those girlie magazines like fitness or shape...i have never felt better after cleaning up my diet..oh and take a daily vitamin 8. dont contact him or mutual friends (at least dont talk to them about your feelings on him or anyting of the sort....bc he will hear about it) ok that should help for now...good luck and PM me if you need to talk about more specific stuff that you want to keep confidential...YOU CAN DO IT KATIE....be proud of your changes already! Link to post Share on other sites
rastafari Posted July 8, 2005 Share Posted July 8, 2005 damn, i have been dreaming about the ex for the past two nights, thats why im on LS today..thats weird..or it must be common. i thought for the most part that i was over the whole thing, doing the nc and all, keeping myself busy. then all of a sunnden it just creped up on me...then i dream about her, wkae up thinkin of her...then think through out the day again about her. the dreams are a real bummer though, i just dream about hangin out and stuff. and i know i cant. i dont know what to tell you. anyone else have any advice. i mean i guess we just have to put up with it, becuse we cant controle our dreams. Link to post Share on other sites
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