stillafool Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 There are days where I am tired and don't want to work, though, and would love for someone to tell me I can quit my job so they'll take care of me lol I bet there are a lot of men who want the same thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 This is true to a very very small extent for me. While I only date professional women, I don't want to date one that is so career driven and works so many hours that she barely has time for any hobbies or for dating. I've gone on dates with doctors and lawyers and they seem to have very little free time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GoodOnPaper Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Really? How did you come to know this? Did these ladies admit this to you, your male student peers? In my program, first-year students were all assigned to work together in this huge room of cubicles. So, during a year of working 60 hours a week, plus the occasional after-hours party, together, you get a good sense of where you stand with everybody. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 In my program, first-year students were all assigned to work together in this huge room of cubicles. So, during a year of working 60 hours a week, plus the occasional after-hours party, together, you get a good sense of where you stand with everybody. So man never made an attempt to ask them out? Funny, I found that college was a place synonymous to finding a future partner, esp. when working/studying closely together with your peer students. Of course, this may be outside your field of study and you may be better off dating a student in a different field of study. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I think the question really is, "Are professional men willing to do 50% of the housework and childcare?" I'm sure the answer to that varies on a spectrum (just as any other preference does), but my point is that it isn't that they 'don't want' a professional woman. It's just that they don't want to do 50% of the housework/childcare. If the woman can be a professional while doing the bulk of that, I'm sure they'll be all good with it. Thing is, it's usually not doable for the long term - not without a huge amount of resentment that will take its toll on the relationship. It's fairly rare that two people manage to start a family while both giving 100% to their career, unless they have an extraordinary amount of help with the kids and the house. Someone's career needs to take a hit. Some couples prefer that to be one person's (usually the woman's). Some couples share the hit. It all depends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Me personally, I am studying a specialised medical field at college that is notoriously only a part time role. Much to young grads dismay I am wanting to work only part time while raising our hypothetical child. Even if he earnt enough to support a family of 3 (which he likely would seeing as his field aquires masses of overtime and is a decent wage) I will simply be happier as a professional woman. It is a pride thing. I have yet to meet a man who has not agreed with my view 110%. I know of men who are into providing and spoiling their girls rotten. They feel an innate desire to pay for small get aways, dates and small vacations. Yet these same men ALSO want women that work. They are very impressed by professional women, yet still prefer to hold onto their provider mentalities; their fiances wives and girlfriends tend to be pampered snd s bit spoilt while still managing a professional role prior to kids. So yeah. Even men I know who prefer the provider role, want a professional woman. Even though they still enjoy paying for all the dates and want the woman to do the bulk of the child rearing. It is 2016! Women need a profession and skills so that they can at least have a fair shot at getting back into the workforce once the child is school aged! Most families need 2 incomes! Not MANY men have high paying fancy white collar jobs or highly paid trades to be able to support a family! Get real! Link to post Share on other sites
indianapolisjones Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Unless you really LOVE your job or have the old school mentality of 'men provide and women cook, clean and give great blowjobs, I would think most men would want somebody to bring home some bacon. Taking care of the kids is fair enough, but after they are school age ... Professional guy here. If I could have my way, yes, I would love the male provider, female domestic dynamic. In the US and with how bad the divorce laws are, this wouldn't make sense. So I target professional women. I am learning to adapt to their schedules. However, quite frankly, it is certainly not particularly attractive that they don't specifically cater to my needs as a man. Just being honest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Professional guy here. If I could have my way, yes, I would love the male provider, female domestic dynamic. In the US and with how bad the divorce laws are, this wouldn't make sense. So I target professional women. I am learning to adapt to their schedules. However, quite frankly, it is certainly not particularly attractive that they don't specifically cater to my needs as a man. Just being honest. Gotta love honesty. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Peach Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 I mostly date professional men but there have been some exceptions. Out of my relationships, only my XH felt threatened by my career since I became the bread winner. I have found a lot of guys are insecure with the potential of me making more. But some men are OK with it since I'm not the type to flaunt it. I know my XBF liked I was self sufficient but he didn't need someone who made what he made. It was a plus to him though as he didn't want to support a woman fully. I know a few other men who look favorable on women with careers. What I find to be a bigger deal is that men want to feel like they are with a woman on a date; not in a business meeting. I've noticed there are a lot of women who can't bring out their girly side once they leave the office. What I find the bigger problem (and this works with both genders) is that men and women need to make enough time for each other. It's not going to happen if both are working 80 hours in the office. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 I actually don't think some guys are aware of how damn sexy some of us women find it when he is up for and just will go ahead and do his share of household chores. I remember my guy coming out to find me in the garden after he had finished unloading the car. I'd already grabbed the new garden fork from the boot of the car and was already setting about the garden making holes with it - the toughest part of laying grass seeds. He kinda melted in a er..hot way! Lol! I melted too in the same hot way each time he did his share of indoors/household type chores (washing up, hanging the clothes out to dry, cooking) when I saw him in action. I suspect all of this kind of stuff contributed to a very healthy sex life that lasted all of the 14 years we were together - and once or twice after we split. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted October 14, 2016 Author Share Posted October 14, 2016 I actually don't think some guys are aware of how damn sexy some of us women find it when he is up for and just will go ahead and do his share of household chores. I remember my guy coming out to find me in the garden after he had finished unloading the car. I'd already grabbed the new garden fork from the boot of the car and was already setting about the garden making holes with it - the toughest part of laying grass seeds. He kinda melted in a er..hot way! Lol! I melted too in the same hot way each time he did his share of indoors/household type chores (washing up, hanging the clothes out to dry, cooking) when I saw him in action. I suspect all of this kind of stuff contributed to a very healthy sex life that lasted all of the 14 years we were together - and once or twice after we split. People still hang clothes to dry? ;-) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 People still hang clothes to dry? ;-) We sure do! Outdoors and indoors too! Common practice in the UK! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 People still hang clothes to dry? ;-) Go to Europe and you will still see it. It's adorable!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted February 7, 2017 Author Share Posted February 7, 2017 I have noticed certain professions where men and women match up well when it comes to the same industry. I have a female friend in the legal field and she tells me she's mostly focusing on men also in a legal field. Apparently, they are so career focused in their discipline that people in more traditional jobs/careers that are open to dating anyone who is any profession is okay with them. But the time dedicated to a certain field, is what some people may have in common. Thought on this? Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted February 7, 2017 Share Posted February 7, 2017 For most people IMO it's less about focusing on particular careers ahead of time and more about whom you mesh and end up with because of mindset and common background/ life experiences. People are drawn into specific careers (science, engineering, legal, to name a few) because their minds work in particular ways. When in relationships, it's not that they necessarily agree on any/everything, but that their minds work in similar ways to get to their opinions. This leads to a greater understanding of each other which in turn can lead to deeper connections. And of course you are more likely than not to wind up with the type of people to whom you have the most access. I am a (retired) research scientist and over the course of my education and career these are the people with whom I've had the most interactions and the most relationships. The old numbers game again... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Men have a desire to provide... Point blank and if he cannot provide he can be less attracted to her or if another women needs him he can be more attracted to her. Its not about insecurity... its that men have a tendacy to give. Think this is B.S. get into a fight with your man and watch as he will come back with roses or try to take you out to dinner. This is how men show love. What happens to a man if he loses his job or gets a pay cut... it doesnt hit women as hard as it hits men Its in his DNA to provide... so professional women tend to not peak mens interest as much. While a man says they don't mind having a women with equal earnings he will still be willing to pay for dinner or parking or etc. Its not about insecurity... its part of attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 I would say it just depends on the man. Many are happy to have a professional successful wife. Others who don't want to take on any domestic responsibility or always want every decision to go their way, rail against it. A friend of mine's husband told her to stop working because he simply didn't want to share kid responsibilities. She did so, even after taking classes to become a teacher, and then some years later, she took a job regardless of his attitude, but she's doing everything, I can assure you. I'd never stay married to someone like that. There's plenty of men who just want the woman to do crap for them and the kids and don't have any deeper love or respect for her other than that. I think there are plenty of men who would never marry if they didn't think it would get them out of some of the housework and errands. It's pathetic. The good news is successful professional women don't need men if they can't find a good one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 Generally speaking,men want to date good looking. feminine, and sexy women...but there's a catch.. Even the most accomplished and wealthy men will not necessarily all require the same in their mates as far as accomplishments, wealth, status..etc...As we all know that isn't necessarily true of women,,,,Generally they don't like it if a guy has a lower paying job, a shyttier career, etc...So there is that dynamic.. I personally see absolutely nothing negative about professional women..I guess the only part that chafes me are the "I can do anything a man can do and better" types...Those women come off as cold, insecure, and unfeminine...Sorry., just my experience...And no, don;t bother with the "They can't handle us" garbage...Its nonsense...They can handle you just fine....they don't want to.. I guess my advise to women is that if you want to attract an accomplished and good looking professional(or even blue collar),guy, then earn all you want, and go after all you can, just don't be so caught up in it that you lose that which is what attracts men to women in the first place.. TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LookAtThisPOst Posted February 9, 2017 Author Share Posted February 9, 2017 I personally see absolutely nothing negative about professional women..I guess the only part that chafes me are the "I can do anything a man can do and better" types...Those women come off as cold, insecure, and unfeminine...Sorry., just my experience...And no, don;t bother with the "They can't handle us" garbage...Its nonsense...They can handle you just fine....they don't want to.. Yeah, I've seen a few of them online dating that actually express this dialogue in some fashion in their profiles. It's like they have an axe to grind. That they are under the notion that men are intimidated by their independence. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 I pretty much agree with the above. I can speak from experience when I say that in my dream career, I had to learn to be really tough and play hard ball. Before that, I was industrious and tenacious, but I spent a fair amount of time giddy on champagne and having painful crushes. Then I got my dream job and I had to learn to -- well, be like a man, because that's who I was working with and competing against. I had to learn to play hard ball. It did change who I was. It was hard to decompress from that at the end of a day. So having a power job can really change a woman. From that point, I longed for something I'd never really longed for, having been content with broke musicians and not so broke musicians, and often being the dependable one in the relationship. Now, for the first time, really, I longed or someone as strong as me, someone who wouldn't be intimidated by me (even when I was younger and giddy, I still had an intimidation factor, wearing all black, kind of street tough, but I was very romantic), someone who would help handle life's daily grind problems, take some pressure off me. So me being successful did change me and my needs in a man -- and I never found that man who was as strong in the right way and not daunted by my job and me and my lifestyle. But I don't regret it. I followed my dream, and that was more important to me. I wouldn't have given it up for anyone. Still, Bette Davis's back-of-the-limo monologue in "All About Eve" resonated with me at the time. (though not the part about her evil young nemesis, Eve, who she was right to try to squash) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jj66 Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 A few years ago I was dating two women and it was starting to get a little physical with both of them. Sex hadn't happened yet but was around the next corner and I felt I had to decide which one to pursue. Should I choose a busy executive who liked me or an entry level administrator who liked me? I chose the administrator. Why? Because the administrator was available to me whenever I wanted her to be. She didn't have to go to board meetings and wasn't going on yoga retreats in Asia. I was a busy man and I liked the fact that she was almost always available when I was available. With the executive it was hard to see her 6 times in 3 months. Either she had something going on or I did almost every time we tried to get together. Looking back on my relationships and sexual involvements in the 7 years since my divorce, I made between 2.5 and 6 times what my partner did until my most recent relationship. My current gf has historically made much more than me, although currently I make 10-15% more. Why did my current gf make it past my (apparent) professional filter when the others didn't? It wasn't her availability. She is extremely busy. I think the difference is that when we are together she lets herself be a woman. She makes me feel wanted and appreciated. Or maybe it's just the strong pheromones. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 A few years ago I was dating two women and it was starting to get a little physical with both of them. Sex hadn't happened yet but was around the next corner and I felt I had to decide which one to pursue. Should I choose a busy executive who liked me or an entry level administrator who liked me? I chose the administrator. Why? Because the administrator was available to me whenever I wanted her to be. She didn't have to go to board meetings and wasn't going on yoga retreats in Asia. I was a busy man and I liked the fact that she was almost always available when I was available. With the executive it was hard to see her 6 times in 3 months. Either she had something going on or I did almost every time we tried to get together. Looking back on my relationships and sexual involvements in the 7 years since my divorce, I made between 2.5 and 6 times what my partner did until my most recent relationship. My current gf has historically made much more than me, although currently I make 10-15% more. Why did my current gf make it past my (apparent) professional filter when the others didn't? It wasn't her availability. She is extremely busy. I think the difference is that when we are together she lets herself be a woman. She makes me feel wanted and appreciated. Or maybe it's just the strong pheromones. Just goes to show that we can all think we know what we want and what we don't, but then there will be that one exception that just makes you throw caution to the wind because something is just right. Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Millennial here. All my coupled up or married friends are career focused so none want kids. My boyfriend and I have decided not to have kids for the same reason. Guys wanting their wives to not work, sound old skool. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 Millennial here. All my coupled up or married friends are career focused so none want kids. You better believe that's going to change ... Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted February 10, 2017 Share Posted February 10, 2017 I have only had long-term relationships with career-minded women, simply because I either met them at school, work, or other social events that attract that kind of crowd. Aside from the many pluses, such as the money being right, and that they are often more understanding of your own career and the time you spend on it, aligning two careers is simply not easy. Most of my long-term relationships ended because she got a new job elsewhere, I couldn't sustain my career where she lived, or she accepted a teaching position at a college on the left coast. There are simpky very many mundane yet challenging aspects of these relationships, even before considering clashes of stereotypes and personalities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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