Do professional men not want to date professional women?

[JustGettingBy]

I have never come across a physically attractive single professional women, where I am they get snapped up very quickly.

 

I know a few, and most of them are actually desperate for a guy. Although I've found with these women, a glance into their personality shows why they're single.

[anduina]

You better believe that's going to change ...

Perhaps with some but not me. Having helped my parents raise an autistic brother, I've done enough parenting for a lifetime.

[preraph]

Commenting on the having children portion of this thread, the trend the last few years is better educated women are increasingly choosing not to have children. I'm sure that has something to do with them being career minded.

[Miss Peach]

Why did my current gf make it past my (apparent) professional filter when the others didn't? It wasn't her availability. She is extremely busy. I think the difference is that when we are together she lets herself be a woman. She makes me feel wanted and appreciated. Or maybe it's just the strong pheromones.

 

This is what I was going to post. Men are not impressed by the same things women are. Women often lead with what impresses them. Same for men. However IME each gender looks for something different in a relationship so that approach doesn't work.

[WaitingForBardot]

This is what I was going to post. Men are not impressed by the same things women are. Women often lead with what impresses them. Same for men. However IME each gender looks for something different in a relationship so that approach doesn't work.

It does seem to be a common misconception amongst both sexes that people see us through our eyes as opposed to their own.

[Sweetfish]

I actually don't think some guys are aware of how damn sexy some of us women find it when he is up for and just will go ahead and do his share of household chores.

I remember my guy coming out to find me in the garden after he had finished unloading the car. I'd already grabbed the new garden fork from the boot of the car and was already setting about the garden making holes with it - the toughest part of laying grass seeds.

He kinda melted in a er..hot way! Lol!

 

I melted too in the same hot way each time he did his share of indoors/household type chores (washing up, hanging the clothes out to dry, cooking) when I saw him in action.

I suspect all of this kind of stuff contributed to a very healthy sex life that lasted all of the 14 years we were together - and once or twice after we split.

 

 

This is what many good men and good women seek...

 

But for these two to find each other... is like shooting a bullet with a bow and arrow. So what eventually happens in this new era is the guy is too nice or the girl is too boring and the spark is gone.

 

The good man never finds the good woman and eventally they become jaded as they only match up with not so good people.

[Els]

An interesting note: Many of the "power couples" I know (where both parties make 6 figures and above) have a pretty hard time out of it. Especially with the current wave of globalization, being very successful in career terms means going to where you have to be. More than half of them don't see each other most of the time due to conflicting schedules or traveling for work. Many are in LDRs because their careers led them to different places. One has been in a LDR for SEVEN years and no sight of an end. Some have divorced.

 

I think it's just one of those things that can work out for a few, but not for many. The cases where it does work out, the people involved are in their 40s or above, and have already 'paid their dues' for their careers, so they have more flexibility while retaining the 6-figure paycheck. It seems less likely to work for people in their 20s and 30s.

[CptInsano]

An interesting note: Many of the "power couples" I know (where both parties make 6 figures and above) have a pretty hard time out of it. Especially with the current wave of globalization, being very successful in career terms means going to where you have to be. More than half of them don't see each other most of the time due to conflicting schedules or traveling for work. Many are in LDRs because their careers led them to different places. One has been in a LDR for SEVEN years and no sight of an end. Some have divorced.

 

I think it's just one of those things that can work out for a few, but not for many. The cases where it does work out, the people involved are in their 40s or above, and have already 'paid their dues' for their careers, so they have more flexibility while retaining the 6-figure paycheck. It seems less likely to work for people in their 20s and 30s.

 

Agreed. I see couples in their 40s where one party doesn't have to pursue their career not as much as they used to, because their financial goals have been largely met. But that also doesn't work for everyone. LDRs or weekend relationships are indeed common.

 

When I talk to recent MBA graduates these days, it seems that a decent portion views a relationship as little more than a career risk.

[Taramere]

I am guessing professional men don't want their women to be career-minded since they figure, "We have one professional in this household that makes the amount of money for 2, so I would like for you to stay home and do my laundry and cook for me."

 

(Just a theory there.)

 

Or something to that effect? I am actually surprised men do have these expectations...still?!

 

Thoughts on this one-sided set-up?

 

The professional guys I know who are reasonably outgoing and attractive, but who aren't interested in going clubbing and trying to pick up young girls, are mainly married to fellow professionals. In some cases, women they met at uni. In a lot of cases, they met their partners through work. I think most guys would want a partner who is a friend, and with whom they can socialise without having to worry "does she feel a bit out of things?"

 

I know one or two guys who married their secretaries, but in our profession a great secretary is a often as not a woman (most are women) who needs a good brain and would be perfectly capable of being a lawyer if she wanted to go down that path. So I would tend to class the very good secretaries I've worked with as fellow professionals.

 

"Professional" doesn't just relate to job title in my book. It relates to how a person conducts themselves generally...and I think that more professional guys would be attracted than not to a woman who has the sort of temperament and character we tend to associate with professionalism.