redhotchili5 Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 This is really tough for me, I (31/f) was dating my current boyfriend (37/m) for two years when I found out he never stopped being with his supposed "ex" the whole time, she told me everything. Needless to say I was heartbroken and in shock, we were just talking about moving in, I've met his whole family and his small son from a previous marriage. This explains his weird behavior, him not moving in yet despite coming over everyday and his declaration that marriage is just a piece of paper. Long story short, I told him never to contact me and broke up with him but he wouldn't let it be. He called my phone 1,000 times, wouldn't leave my house, cried and begged and pleaded, and said she meant nothing that if he wanted her he would be at her house right now. He blocked her and hasn't contacted her since. He proposed two weeks later and told me he wanted nothing more than to get married, he's now moved in and we just came back from disney world with his son. I have everything I want, am I crazy to think that this will work and that he is sincere. Does anyone have successful second chance stories or in you opinion do you think this whole thing is doomed from the way it started? Is it possible he really has changed? I want this so badly but I don't want to regret giving him a second chance. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 8, 2016 Share Posted October 8, 2016 He has been cheating on you with his so called "ex", the whole time you have been together and you want to give him a second chance????? He will not want to give that up. If his ex will not play ball, he will be looking around for another woman to take her place. He is 37 not 17, the pattern of his behaviour will be well ingrained. Personally I think you would a fool to trust him. So many come on here and say "My husband is cheating we have two small kids and a huge mortgage, what can I do? and on further discussion he cheated when they were engaged, but she forgave him as she loved him and wanted to marry him, it is a common story. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” ~Maya Angelou 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Well, at least when you find out he cheated again you won't have to blame him. That one will be on you. If he couldn't get it right being your boyfriend, what makes you think marrying him will suddenly be a cure all?! Because you went on a trip together? Lol. I never understand cheating in general, but when women (I'm a guy) take back the cheater it boggles my mind. Like he disrespected you, lied to you, and you still want to make it work? Want to tie yourself legally to this person? A marriage license won't stop a cheater...only they can do that. Think before you're married, pregnant, and he walks out because he felt forced to marry you in order to keep you around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Chilli5, What you need now is not a b/f, it's some self-respect Let's look at the facts; For two whole years while he was planning a future with you he was cheating on you with an ex. And you want to give him another chance ?? He blocked her and hasn't contacted her since. And you know that because ......? am I crazy to think that this will work and that he is sincere. Yes. You've shown him that he can bust your boundaries, lie, cheat and you'll forgive him if he "love bombs" you enough. Shakes head.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sparta Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 OP are you serious... you can guarantee with this guy he will cheat again... first of all you didn't come to you and tell you to swear that he'd never do it again. Did he.? No right there's your first indicator that he is not remorseful, The only thing that he is sorry about is that he got caught. History repeats itself so your first indication on will he cheat again which is history he's a cheater. you've got all the answers here and you know it true... don't you.? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 Sorry but the other woman was not his ex if he and she were still getting it on the whole time. If you want to set yourself up for heartbreak or an open marriage stay with him. If you meant so much to him, why was he banging the other girlfriend. That's right she was suppose to have been the ex. Sorry to be so blunt. How could he have cared for you and have done what he did. Leave him and find someone that truly cares for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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