He's Not Cheating on Her...But Where Do I Stand?

[LiterallyMyLife]

So, I kind of put an end to it.

 

I told him I wasn't going to do that anymore and I think at first he thought maybe I was joking, then when he realized I wasn't, he apologized and said he did know what he was doing and he's not saying he did nothing wrong, and that if I want him to give me space, he will. He also said, he'd support me in trying to find a good partner if I'd like.

[ChickiePops]

So, I kind of put an end to it.

 

I told him I wasn't going to do that anymore and I think at first he thought maybe I was joking, then when he realized I wasn't, he apologized and said he did know what he was doing and he's not saying he did nothing wrong, and that if I want him to give me space, he will. He also said, he'd support me in trying to find a good partner if I'd like.

 

All good until the last sentence. Him offering to help you find a partner is a VERY VERY bad idea. There's no possible way that will go well.

 

Just walk away.

[Space Ritual]

He also said, he'd support me in trying to find a good partner if I'd like.

 

Why leave the door open?

 

You are either in or out. You cannot half ass thee types of things of the simple reason you have stated...that you started having feelings for him.

 

The road to hell is paved with good intentions. This is neither good nor intentioned. It will just be hell.

 

Please do yourself a favor and end any and all communication with this guy now.

[Try]

So, I kind of put an end to it.

 

I told him I wasn't going to do that anymore and I think at first he thought maybe I was joking, then when he realized I wasn't, he apologized and said he did know what he was doing and he's not saying he did nothing wrong, and that if I want him to give me space, he will. He also said, he'd support me in trying to find a good partner if I'd like.

First, him saying that "he'd support me in trying to find a good partner" means that based on your relationship with him, him being OK with you finding "a good partner" (i.e. someone else) was in doubt until you broke up with him. Thus the two of you were more than just friends and in an emotional affair. Second, this offer is him try to stay in contact with you rather than letting you really end it. There is no "kind of put an end" to an emotional affair. To end an emotional affair you need to go 100% full no contact

[LiterallyMyLife]

A few things happened lately.

 

I feel like a bad soap opera. I have no doubt that any of this is me overreacting and loving the attention, but here I am. Sad...again over someone who isn't thinking about me.

 

So, we needed up hanging out. Nothing inappropriate. We walked around our campus a bit, had lunch, then he walked me to my class and gave me a hug. It was nice, and again nothing inappropriate was said or done.

 

We kept talking (not as much) and the other night, there was this drawing on a blog that I saw that I thought was great, so I messaged the person who was using it as their icon to tell them and the response I got was basically saying thank you and oh, btw you're the one that's been talking to my boyfriend a lot. I didn't realize. I had already even told him when he asked me what I was up to that I was talking to this person and then later when he messaged me asking how my chat was going, I said oh with your girlfriend? And he just sent three of these ";p".

 

His girlfriend is sweet. She suffers from a lot of health an mental problems (but I do too) and we even talked about getting lunch together.

 

I ended up hanging out with another guy friend. I told the main guy and his response was weird. Supportive, but almost too interested. He asked me questions about how things went, what we did. If I was going to have him over again.

And for someone who mentioned his gf almost everyday, he hasn't mentioned her since I mentioned talking to her. He's actually been less talkative to me.

 

Today, he didn't talk to me at all and when I asked him how his day was he said it was a much needed relaxing day and he was about to go drink with a friend.

 

He also asked me again if I planned on having the guy over again and when I said no, he simply said aw and that I just need to find someone better.

 

Me, being dumb, assumed he meant a guy friend and he corrected me saying that it wasn't a guy.

 

At this point, I know the responses are going to make me hate myself and I understand. He's hanging out with another girl. Could be just a friend or could be his girlfriend and he's just not telling me because he thinks I might "spill the beans". Either way, I'm up at 4am.....typing this. Instead of moving on. Like I should have to begin with.

[Space Ritual]

Don't beat yourself up about it.

 

This guy seems to be just as willing to thrive on drama. I understand that can be upsetting. And not very becoming of a guy

 

I urge you to just go no contact with him. He seems like he would love to have 2 girls fighting over him for some sort of ego boost, and that does no one any good.

[LiterallyMyLife]

I know it shouldn't bother me as much as it does. I felt special for a little while because someone was giving me attention and I knew it wouldn't last, but I wanted to hold onto it.

 

And now I feel like crap.