ShootingStarlet Posted October 9, 2016 Share Posted October 9, 2016 I had a very intense relationship from the age of 18 to 22, on and off, but not in the sense where the love ever died. When we were together, we were so in love, to the extent where we were both certain that we would never be able to live without each other, where every moment was filled with intense love and sexual passion or talking. Then we would fight like we were going to war, decide we couldn't be together, and try quit each other, date other people...only to both find our ways back to each other after a couple of months. I always felt like a reason we kept coming back to each other is because at our core, both of us feel insecure around other people, we are afraid to be ourselves with other people, but we felt ourselves true and true when we were together with each other. We both had our issues with our past though, which made us fight so badly, I was terrified of being abandoned and I think he was the same. But we were young, it was my first time feeling that way about someone. He left last year, started dating some girl from his work place and is still with her now. I don't think he planned on dating her, I feel she planned on dating him, and he was vulnerable and sad about the ending again of our relationship and how we could just not find a way to work ... I can't say I haven't moved on somewhat, I don't cry much over it all. I've slept with a few people and tried dating those men, who are guys I would go for, they were my type...but now, a couple of months over a year later, I feel the exact same love I did for my ex as when I was with him. My feelings never subsided? I know he is still with this girl, but he's young, just turning 24 and I'm 23, so there's a good chance he won't spend the rest of his life with her... Am I waiting for him? Not really, if by waiting means sitting around rejecting dates and not finding passions...I am open to those things. But my feelings are weirdly just not fading? I expected them to fade...but they haven't. I don't know about him, because he won't reply to my 'hey' messages I have sent every now and then... but I feel that his radio silence says something about how he's scared of going near me right now probably because of the feelings we had. I feel ok about the way I feel, like I'm not sad, I'm going about life, I'm meeting new guys....but I'm young, no pressure to find a boyfriend or anything.... I just would like to have that shot with my ex again...and I feel I will get it, something in my bones just says I will. Funny how when I was with him I thought that I could fall in love again and feel those happy weird crazy high total happiness easily enough with someone else...but it hasn't happened, it doesn't seem to happen so easily after all ! Do you guys think it might happen after he's finished with his relationship he may contact me again? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShootingStarlet Posted October 9, 2016 Author Share Posted October 9, 2016 forgot to mention it was also a very sexual relationship and the sex was always very exceptional, like every time we had sex it was like being in the honeymoon period, even though we had been having sex for a long time.... intellectually we are compatible, we even studied the same course in college even though we met before college....emotionally, we were just too highly strung, I was too insecure, and he was not able to deal with conflict well, so the fighting was why it ended really...and I was a bit clingy, but that didn't seem to be a very huge issue and it's gone now.. Link to post Share on other sites
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