brightdays Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 (edited) He and I were in a long term/distance relationship. I recently found out he was cheating on me. He owes me some money that is a big amount to me, so I had to contact him several times after a break-up. I've been asking him to pay me back for one month, He said he can't right now for some reason but he will. However, you know, there's no trust anymore between us. He never admitted that he was cheating and no apology. It was heartbreaking but I tried to understand his choice. However everything changed because he hasn't paid me back one month after our break up. A couple of days ago, I politely texted him that I really want money back, have things resolved, and move forward. He ignored my calls and texts. I warned him not to ignore my calls and he did. I couldn't put up with his inconsiderate behaviour anymore. So the next day, I contacted his family who I met once and his new girlfriend who he cheated on me with to explain the money related situation between me and him. I told them he was ignoring my calls and I can no longer believe that a cheater will give my money back. I was like "no offece to you, I just want my money back and move forward, please tell him to pay me back." His new gf saw my message and they broke up. After their break up, finally he called me and told me "fair play to you, revenge" He said he would pay me back at a certain date and I'm still waiting. I cursed him. I genuinely did over the phone. I literally wished him harm. I told him his life would be full of distrust and lies. Afterwards, his family saw my message a bit late and told him about it. He warned me not to **** with them and leave them out of the problem. If he hadn't cheated on me and paid me back right after a break up, I wouldn't have done it. If I can defend myself, I didn't have other choices back then. We ended up cursing each other. I feel so bad about myself. I never hurt someone on purpose and I did to him. I did because I was so dissapointed and angry at the way he was dealing with our money related problem and cheating. I feel so guilty of cursing my ex even though it was him who wronged me. How do I let go of anger and resentment about his cheating and my response on it? It's just so hard to forgive myself about cursing someone I truly and madly loved. Please don't judge me about cursing him and contacting others over our problem because I feel guilty enough myself. I'm so upset we ended up this way. Thanks for reading. Please give me some advice. Edited October 10, 2016 by brightdays Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 He warned me not to **** with them and leave them out of the problem. Aha, well I was getting ready to type "you need to forget the money and move on, you'll never get it back", but this is interesting. It seems that involving his parents is working, that's why he's telling you to leave them out of it. I would suggest you go back to them, tell them he said he would return it by XXX date, and still hasn't, and ask them to "remind" him again. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Just to add that you do not have anything to feel guilty about. You had every right to be mad. But now you need to be polite to his family to get your money back. Like Pete says, politely tell them he once again promised and has failed to get your money back to you. Tell them that you just want it back so that you can finally move on and have nothing more to do with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
piano1962 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 So sorry that you are going through this! Sometimes it's hard to control our emotions when we are wronged. The fact that you feel bad about cursing him is a sign that you are not who you are when you are upset. We all make mistakes and it doesn't help to look back. Forgiving is not easy but that's what you need right now. To forgive yourself for what you did and forgive him for what he has done to you. When you don't forgive, it's not him who's suffering but you. Having hatred towards someone will eat you up emotionally. Please do yourself a favor, "TRY' to let it go. When you have him in your thought, try to find something else to occupy your mind with. Go out with friends, read a book, watch a fun tv show......... Just anything to take your mind off him. Regarding the money, it's hard to ask anyone to repay when the relationship is bad. If he's a person with integrity, may be one day he'll pay you back. If he's not, regardless of how many times and what ways you use, it may not happen. As of now, the only thing that you can do is to LET GO. It's very hard, but hope you can do it. Tell yourself you deserve someone better than him and your life is good even without him. Move on and leave him behind. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Involving money in a LDR is a bad thing. never expect it back, and never expect faithfulness. You take huge risks with LDRs because you really don't know who you are dealing with. You could be catfished, conned, swindled, they are married, in another relationship, criminal background etc. Not worth it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Inspirational quote of the day "Upset about cursing him out, you should not be" -Yoda I wish I could have heard you curse him out. I bet it was hilarious. You shouldn't be upset. Sounds like he more than deserved it for being a POS. Take pride that you got what you needed off your chest and simultaneously made him look like an idiot to his now ex and his family. You hit like 4 birds with one stone...kudos to you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 10, 2016 Share Posted October 10, 2016 Are the two of you in the same country? Do you have evidence that you lent him the money? If so, take him to court for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted October 11, 2016 Share Posted October 11, 2016 He and I were in a long term/distance relationship. I recently found out he was cheating on me. He owes me some money that is a big amount to me, so I had to contact him several times after a break-up. I've been asking him to pay me back for one month, He said he can't right now for some reason but he will. However, you know, there's no trust anymore between us. He never admitted that he was cheating and no apology. It was heartbreaking but I tried to understand his choice. However everything changed because he hasn't paid me back one month after our break up. A couple of days ago, I politely texted him that I really want money back, have things resolved, and move forward. He ignored my calls and texts. I warned him not to ignore my calls and he did. I couldn't put up with his inconsiderate behaviour anymore. So the next day, I contacted his family who I met once and his new girlfriend who he cheated on me with to explain the money related situation between me and him. I told them he was ignoring my calls and I can no longer believe that a cheater will give my money back. I was like "no offece to you, I just want my money back and move forward, please tell him to pay me back." His new gf saw my message and they broke up. After their break up, finally he called me and told me "fair play to you, revenge" He said he would pay me back at a certain date and I'm still waiting. I cursed him. I genuinely did over the phone. I literally wished him harm. I told him his life would be full of distrust and lies. Afterwards, his family saw my message a bit late and told him about it. He warned me not to **** with them and leave them out of the problem. If he hadn't cheated on me and paid me back right after a break up, I wouldn't have done it. If I can defend myself, I didn't have other choices back then. We ended up cursing each other. I feel so bad about myself. I never hurt someone on purpose and I did to him. I did because I was so dissapointed and angry at the way he was dealing with our money related problem and cheating. I feel so guilty of cursing my ex even though it was him who wronged me. How do I let go of anger and resentment about his cheating and my response on it? It's just so hard to forgive myself about cursing someone I truly and madly loved. Please don't judge me about cursing him and contacting others over our problem because I feel guilty enough myself. I'm so upset we ended up this way. Thanks for reading. Please give me some advice. 3 words for you that is pretty much all you need Small Claims Court 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted October 11, 2016 Share Posted October 11, 2016 (edited) An actual witch here Ok, you did not curse him hun....you simply sent negative energy out into the universe is regards to him but you did not in anyway send that negative energy in his direction (thats what cursing is) Lets use this scenario as an example... While thinking about how much you'd like to smack your ex across the face you randomly take a swing at the air. Did you hit him? No, you didnt...far from it Cursing requires extensive training and practice at WITCHCRAFT not the art of negative thoughts I cursed my ex and was able to do so because I've been a witch for 12 years and know how to manifest my intentions in the very specific way required to curse someone. (Or any spell work, positive or negative) So pls pls stop saying you "cursed" your ex or that he "cursed" you. To an actual witch thats just laughable I also want to note that wishing ill upon an ex (or anyone) or actually causing sickness/pain to an ex is a very BAD idea. Trust me Do what you need to do to get your money back and....FORGIVE. You dont have to like him...you dont have to wish him well...but for your own peace of mind and happiness...let it go hun Edited October 11, 2016 by Disillusionment373 Link to post Share on other sites
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