Live in boyfriend seems uninterested in sex lately

[startinganew777]

I have been with my wonderful boyfriend for almost a year and a half. He moved in with me back in June. Things have been great until recently. He has stopped initiating sex and he has turned me down more than once saying he is too tired. I bring it up to him and he says he doesn't need sex everyday and that he is perfectly content just laying with me and cuddling. He says I'm beautiful and that he loves me very much.

 

 

Another issue we have, which I have talked to him repeatedly is that he never performs oral sex on me. It has been like 4 months. I mentioned it again last week saying I always make sure he is taken care of no matter what, even if I'm not in the mood and he said he promises to try harder and that I deserve it. That there is nothing wrong with me, that he just needs to be reminded sometimes. Since then, he still hasn't even tried once to pleasure me that way. He is all talk and no action but swears there is nothing wrong with me. Of course my self esteem is suffering and I feel like he doesn't want me anymore and that I'm disgusting to him.

I hate to nag and nag him but I don't know what else to do! It is killing me!

We have talked of marriage and kids but this is important to me and makes me second guess our relationship. I find myself going off to watch porn to take care of myself. I had to last night so I know this is getting bad. I just love him so much and want him so bad and all other aspects of the relationship is great. He really is good to me in every way but this. Should I sit him down for a long talk? After I have already mentioned my issues? I don't know what else to do. I feel like he knows I get upset but doesn't do much about it.

[l8estnews]

Is your sex life with him great before this? What changed? Did you notice any other changes in behavior?

[startinganew777]

Yes it was good. We seemed like on the same wavelength. We had sex often, maybe sometimes skipping a couple days but sometimes having sex like 3 times a day on the weekend but he was always ready. Last week we had sex twice, I initiated, then nothing all weekend until yesterday morning where I initiated again. He seems into after we get into it but for like 3 or 4 nights last week, he said he was too tired and rejected me. Same thing Friday and Saturday night.

The whole oral thing was brought up too like I said. He even told me how good I am to him because I take care of him even if I know I'm not going to cum. So then I was like well I would like oral, I take care of you everytime, he said he promises to do better and that I deserve it but he hasn't even tried.

 

 

He did get a new busy, sometimes stressful job with my uncle and he just bought a new car a week ago and worried about finances. But it just seems to me like he just doesn't want me as much anymore. :-(

[Els]

Sex twice a week doesn't sound terrible for a long term couple IMO, but that's just me. I'm more of a quality over quantity type of person - I'd rather just save it all up for a time when we're both energetic and have 1-2 hours free to really do what we want, than have multiple quickies.

 

Him not caring about bringing you to orgasm for 4 months though? That would be a COMPLETE dealbreaker for me. If you've told him over and over and nothing changes, I would reconsider the R if I were you. Perhaps you can tell him that you are reconsidering it, to see if the last ditch attempt works.

[smackie9]

It could be a medical condition like low Testosterone. Tho not common in young men, it can happen in some cases. If he has no real explanation, suggest he go get a physical......get things checked out.

 

He keeps saying he is tired.....well that is one of the symptoms of low T, also lack of sex drive, trouble getting an erection, hair loss, low sperm count, depression, loss of muscle mass, weight gain......

[startinganew777]

"Him not caring about bringing you to orgasm for 4 months though?"

 

 

I do have orgasms almost everytime we have sex though. It isn't that he doesn't care about that but hasn't tried to go down on me in the last 4months.

[startinganew777]

We talked last night and he said he had no idea about the way I felt and he has been putting his new job as his number one priority. Said he is so worried about getting enough sleep and getting to work on time. He also said he has gotten super comfortable with me and that he will try harder. That in past relationships his girlfriends gave him crap about wanting sex too much so he said with me he was more concentrated on taking care of me in other aspects other than sex.

 

 

He said he would put sex as a higher priority and that all he cares about is making me happy. We had amazing sex last night, he REALLY took care of me so lets hope that talk did it for us. I guess I just have to wait and see.