guest Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 i picked up my girlfriend recently from work and she had taken off her work shirt before she walked out, to reveal a tank top underneath. we had previous issues with this same shirt, she and i were both uncomfortable with it after it showed her bra because she is small and the straps were too long. i told her it made me feel weird that she'd wear that shirt out of work when we had had a problem with it before. in my head, the insecure and paranoid side of me thought she might have been 'teasing' the other guys that worked there. i know she'd never cheat, but maybe she just wanted to show off a little while seeming modest. she got defensive towards me and told me i was making too big of a deal about it, which i wasn't. when she gets like that, it makes it seem like she is 'betraying' me for lack of a better word, and doesn't care what i think and wants to do what she wants to do. also, she never dresses skanky or anything, so this kind of stuff confuses me. what are your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Zaira Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 A shirt that showed her bra straps? Or her breasts? If her breats weren't showing I think you are over reacting. However, if it makes you BOTH uncomfortable, then why hasn't she thrown the shirt away (or at least at the back of her dresser)? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Well, obviously she's looking for attention if its a recent thing and she doesn't normally dress like that. The question is: is it a specific person or does she just want male attention in general? Notice anything else weird going on? Has she mentioned any 'friends' lately from work or anything like that? Is she primping a lot more than usual? Going out of her way to fix up more to go to work that she usually does? It could be nothing, or it could be something. Gut feelings are generally correct, but you'd have to have more information than what you have though to determine that. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 we have a really honest relationship, and i asked her and she told me she thought one of them was cute, but he wasn't working that night. and to the other person, i asked the same question. why does she still wear it? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 Maybe she just wants to feel sexy? Sometimes when something is missing in a relationship, people will look for it elsewhere. If she doesn't feel sexy or desirable with you, or if she just wants to know that she's objectively sexy and desirable she'll go out of her way to be that way: only not with you. How's the sex/affection/intimacy in your relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Treasa Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 If she hasn't actually given you a reason not to trust her, then just drop it. It's not a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 I think you have a huge problem with insecurity and jealousy. You can't order her how to dress, you simply have no right to do that. Plus she didn't do anything wrong. If she wore clothes that show her tits or half of her ass, you might think she needs other men's attention, but you really over-react. My BF loves it when I am dressed sexy and men stare at me. He feels like everyone wants me and he got me. He sleeps with me. She is not in your possession, just steer your brain in another direction - to not pay attention to stupid things like that! Link to post Share on other sites
ggallin13 Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 It seems to me that this post is from a time-tunnel connected to the 1950's.... Who cares if people can see her bra straps? 99% of males over 18 have seen girls with their shirts off before. I mean, I don't know anyone who gets a huge charge out of seeing a woman's bra through her shirt--unless he has a fetish for that sort of thing. Do you guys ever go to a beack or a pool? She has a bathing suit, right? I agree with RecordProducer. The fact that this bothers you belies a problem you have with insecurity. I like when my girlfriend dresses sexy. I get to see it, and if others do to so be it. I like that other men see I am with a sexy, beautiful woman and THEY get jealous of ME. It's great that you have an honest relationship, but I would never, ever ask my girlfriend what she thought of other men, i.e. if any of them are cute or whatever. You are just opening a can of worms and looking for ways to wig yourself out. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 9, 2005 Share Posted July 9, 2005 I don't think it an issue of dressing sexy. I think its an issue that its a recent thing for her - something different than she normally does. That's the possible red flag: not the sexy dressing itself. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 I don't see any red flags here unless the thread starter is in Afganistan. Link to post Share on other sites
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