Don't know if he called. Should I talk to him?

[crazy_grl]

4 or 5 weeks ago, I was at a club, and I thought this cute bartender might be flirting with me. It caught me by surprise, and I'm not very good at flirting, so I didn't really flirt back. I also figured he was just doing it to get a bigger tip.

 

I went to the same club last week. My friends and I went to the bar and he was working again. When he went to make our drinks, I said to my friend, "It's the hot bartender again." Then she shouts out, "My girl friend thinks you're hot." I'm instantly mortified and feel like I'm in 7th grade. Then my other friend says, "Blow him a kiss." I just shake my head in embarrassment and the bartender says, "You can come back and do it later when you're alone."

 

So later, I go back to talk to him, but unfortunately, I'm still flustered. I don't remember exactly what I said to him, but I asked for his number. He said he doesn't give out his, but he'll take mine. I recognize this as what my friends do when they're not interested in a guy, so I say I'll give him my number but he should only take it if he's going to call. He says he'll call.

 

Later on, I realize that I never asked his name. *face - palm* You think I'd never talked to a guy before.

 

So anyway, 2 days later, I get a call that says 'Restricted'. There's a guy who's a bit creepy that I don't want to talk to, so I had my friend answer, but instead of finding out who is was, my friend just acts like an idiot and tells the guy he's got the wrong number.

 

So now, I don't know if nameless bartender guy called me & now thinks I gave him the wrong number to get a free drink or if he just didn't call. So my question is: when I go to that club again, should I talk to him? Obviously I won't mention him calling or not calling. I thought maybe I could find out his name and have a convo like I should have the first time. Any thoughts?

 

And no lectures on how meeting guys in clubs and bartenders are bad, please. I'm not looking for a relationship. I just wanna get out and meet people right now.

[blue16]

This is an interesting situation, hehe.

 

Well, I think honesty is the best policy. Go up to the bar and just explain it like "I got a call that said restricted, and I've been avoiding this creep and I thought it might be him so I got my friend to answer blah blah blah...was it you that called?" If he says yes, well you can take it from there. If he says like "No actually that wasn't me blah blah blah." then just move on and have a good time with your friends. I think the only way to get anything positive with him is just to be upfront and honest with him. If he's interested he'll look past what happened in a heartbeat.

[crazy_grl]

Thanks for the response, blue. And thanks for reading that. I tried to keep it short, but that never seems to happen.

 

So you think I should ask him if he called then? I guess I probably should. I just didn't want it to seem like I was making it up as an excuse to talk to him even though I knew he didn't call. But if he didn't call, I guess it really doesn't matter, huh? I just hope he can hear me over the music when I try to explain that.

[elijahBailey]

next time you meet him, just put a big grin on your face and say ' oh hey, thanks for not calling' His response will then tell you whether he called That's a lot better than to go straight into the topic head-on. Humor's the best way to neutralize a potentially embarassing situation.

 

If it ends up embarassing, the heck with it. We've all been in embarassing situations, it really shouldn't be a big deal

 

but, hmm, I was just wondering a little about the 'restricted' call. If it's really him, it'll creep me out a little.

[crazy_grl]

Originally posted by elijahBailey

but, hmm, I was just wondering a little about the 'restricted' call. If it's really him, it'll creep me out a little.

 

It wouldn't concern me, because my house phone shows up as restricted no matter what. You can choose to have your number unlisted and restricted. I've done it just for the sake of privacy.

 

next time you meet him, just put a big grin on your face and say ' oh hey, thanks for not calling' His response will then tell you whether he called That's a lot better than to go straight into the topic head-on. Humor's the best way to neutralize a potentially embarassing situation.

 

Thanks for the advice. I agree humor is the best way to go, but to me, walking up and saying "thanks for not calling" right off could seem a bit desperate and a bit too confrontational. After all, I don't mind if he didn't call. I'd just feel bad and seriously disappointed if he had and my friend said he had the wrong number. Maybe somebody else could pull it off, but I'd be too afraid to do that.

 

I did talk to him Saturday though. I walked up and said hi. Then I said I felt stupid. He asked why, and I said because I forgot to ask his name. He told me. Then I asked if he remembered me, and he pulled the napkin I'd written my number on out of his shirt pocket. I smiled and did a little "Ahh" thing. Then I asked if he'd called, because I'd gotten one that my friend answered and I didn't know who it was. He said it wasn't him. He hadn't called because he'd left his shirt at the club, and had forgot to take my number.

 

I acted hurt and said, "You forgot?" He answered, "At least I didn't throw it away. And it's the only number in here."

 

We talked for a little while more until some people came up and he had to get them drinks. It was a fun convo. He hasn't called yet. I hope he does, because he's very cute and seems like an interesting person. But even if he doesn't call, I'm glad I talked to him again. Me forgetting to ask his name actually turned out to be a pretty good excuse to talk to him again.

 

The one bad thing is that my friend shouted out, "She's stalking you." from behind me while were were talking. But hopefully that was overshadowed by my sparkling personality. Or at least just me not seeming like a stalker.

[crazy_grl]

Well, mr. hot bartender man didn't call me. (His loss.) I talked to him tonight though. I'm not really sure he remembered me. I ordered a drink. Then I ordered water for my friend. At some point I asked him why he cut all his hair off. I can't remember when though. Then, he told me he wanted to buy me a shot. Ignoring the fact that technically, he wasn't buying me anything, I told him ok as long as it wasn't yager (however it's spelled -- vile liquid that it is). Talked to him a bit between him helping customers and asked him questions about stuff he'd told me before, like how his acting was going. Didn't mention him calling or anything or try to leave him my number again. If he doesn't stll have it, that's his problem. I've got enough prospects without him... One of which I talked to earlier today who could fill an entire post of his own. I don't know what's up with that guy...

 

Anyway, if bartender guy's not gonna call me, the least he could do is not have such a sexy smile. *sigh* That's just unfair.

 

Not particularly interesting, but I've been drinking and it's an update none the less... I'm goin to sleep now cause I've got work in the morning. Way too early in the morning... Night all.

[erika2610]

Originally posted by crazy_grl

Well, mr. hot bartender man didn't call me. (His loss.) I talked to him tonight though. I'm not really sure he remembered me. I ordered a drink. Then I ordered water for my friend. At some point I asked him why he cut all his hair off. I can't remember when though. Then, he told me he wanted to buy me a shot. Ignoring the fact that technically, he wasn't buying me anything, I told him ok as long as it wasn't yager (however it's spelled -- vile liquid that it is). Talked to him a bit between him helping customers and asked him questions about stuff he'd told me before, like how his acting was going. Didn't mention him calling or anything or try to leave him my number again. If he doesn't stll have it, that's his problem. I've got enough prospects without him... One of which I talked to earlier today who could fill an entire post of his own. I don't know what's up with that guy...

 

Anyway, if bartender guy's not gonna call me, the least he could do is not have such a sexy smile. *sigh* That's just unfair.

 

Not particularly interesting, but I've been drinking and it's an update none the less... I'm goin to sleep now cause I've got work in the morning. Way too early in the morning... Night all.

 

Oh well.. meeting guys in clubs and bartenders are bad anyways

[crazy_grl]

Originally posted by erika2610

Oh well.. meeting guys in clubs and bartenders are bad anyways

 

Trust me, girl, I know. I just wanted to hang out, nothing serious. Shame. We could've had some fun.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by crazy_grl

Trust me, girl, I know. I just wanted to hang out, nothing serious. Shame. We could've had some fun.

 

He may not date women that hang out at the bar.. Kinda like fishing from the company pier kinda thing..

 

Or maybe he has a girl friend and was being nice..

 

Being nice is a bartenders job and lively hood.. so even if he wasn't interested you most likely would never know.

 

It got ya out though.. twice...

[crazy_grl]

Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall

He may not date women that hang out at the bar.. Kinda like fishing from the company pier kinda thing..

 

Well, if that's the problem, it's not like there aren't other clubs I could go to. There's plenty of them here. I actually don't like that one very much, and whenever I actually care enough to make the effort, I'm going to find some different ones.

 

Or maybe he has a girl friend and was being nice..

 

Being nice is a bartenders job and lively hood.. so even if he wasn't interested you most likely would never know.

 

I know, but he did hit on me first. He didn't have to. Maybe he hits on a lot of girls, but I know he's never hit on any of my friends, even when he didn't know they were my friends. And he did tell me he was going to call. While I'm not at all shocked he didn't, he could very easily have not taken my number and told me he had a girlfriend or something... Oh well. He's missing out.

 

Of course, if he does have a gf and took my number anyway, then I'm glad he didn't call.

 

It got ya out though.. twice...

 

Well, that's not what got me out. We were going there anyway. We definitely don't need an excuse to get out. My friends love clubs. They wanna go all the time. Sometimes 3 times in a weekend. Now, I think clubs are all right, but that's a bit excessive to me. And I of course, I have no free will of my own, so I must go along. But really, sometimes I just don't go, because I get sick of it. I'm trying to get them to do other things, like salsa dancing lessons. They'd still get to dance, but it's a change of environment. And I get to check out salsa dancers... I have such a weakness for salsa dancers.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by crazy_grl

He's missing out.

 

Somehow I don't have any trouble believing that...

[crazy_grl]

Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall

Somehow I don't have any trouble believing that...

 

Awwww... Thanks.