Religious differences

[divided]

My boyfriend and i have been dating for the past 6 months and is a serious relationship, he asked me where would i like to go for my honeymoon and he likes the same place. Also, he started counting the number of people who might attend etc. However, I'm catholic and he's baptist. He said he's not changing his beliefs and i understand that, but i don't want my family that means him and the future kids we may have to be divided in religion. if we married in both religions my kids will be catholics and i want my future husband and i to have one religion at home.I told him that if he doesn't want to convert then i'll do it and that i don't have a problem being baptist. He smiled and said we'll figure it out later on when we get there. How can we handle this differences?

[Ed]

Probably the best thing is for both of you to change to the same denomination. One suggestion is Methodist. The preacher gives a sermon every Sunday and they have communion once a month. You couldn't get a better mix than that!

 

I know a couple that did this. Their marriage lasted 17 years and the divorce had nothing to do with religion. On top of that, they are both still Methodist!

[Tony T]

If you have already agreed to convert to the Baptist religion (that you have no problem with doing that), it seems you have handled the matter. That leaves me without a clear understanding of exactly what you want here.

 

You have also agreed on the number of people to invited to the wedding and where to go on your honeymoon. It looks great to me.

 

I would like to offer you some other things which you should discuss before getting married. Some of these may present far more serious differences than religion.

 

1. Which city do you want to remain in? Will you be happy moving if your husband gets a job in another town away from your family?

 

2. Will you work? Will you have joint or separate checking and savings accounts? Who will decide on major purchases, like cars, homes, vacations, etc.? How much of the family earnings will be saved? Who will be in charge of finances, bill paying, etc.?

 

3. Do you like the same kinds of pets?

 

4. Will the two of you allow the other freedom to go out on certain nights with your friends?

 

5. Will either of you be required to terminate important friendships for the sake of the relationship?

 

6. Will either of you insist on taking in a parent should they become ill or diabled and need your care? Will the other object?

 

7. How will both of you feel if a relative is in urgent need of a large sum of money? Will you agree to "laon" his mother, father or siblings a few thousand dollars if he asks you to? Would you do the same for him?

 

8. Will you have one or two cars? Who will be the main driver?

 

9. How many children do each of you want? How far apart do you want them? Do you insist on your husband participating in their care, especially in infancy? Is he willing to do that?

 

10. Will you stay home once children are born? If you need the income, are you willing to put children in day care and go to work?

 

There are many more questions but this will certainly get your discussion started. There's a lot more to being married that being lovey dovey. It can be great but you must be prepared.

 

Best of luck to both of you!!!

[2ply]

First of all don't leave it to "HANDLE" later on...or when you get there. That's one thing you NEED to deal with before you get married. You'd be surprised how the little things cause the most stress and problems. If you have agreed that you have no problem converting to baptist then stick with that. But don't do it just cause he won't give in and that's the only solution.....make sure that's what you really want. Catholic and baptist are totally diferent worlds make sure you're comfortable with it. if he's open to finding your own church and a religion you take on togehter Try attending a few different churches for a few months and finding one you both love that you can start your new life together in. One issue I would recomend disscusing is childres....how many and disipline. I know my husband and I kinda left that to deal with when it came around......HUGE PROBLEMS. we have quite a different opinion about that and I can tell you it does cause allot of unneeded stress. Just makes sure you talk everything out. Never go to bed angry. Never leave anything unresolved or up in the air. Comunication is key and it really sounds like you're on the right track. God bless and good luck with everything! Marriage is a beautiful thing and a real blessing.