Date someone with less formal education?

[quadroon]

Assuming you have a college education, are you okay with dating someone "working class" that does not have a degree?

 

A guy was recently interested in me and was saying, "I don't have a college degree, but I think we're on the same level intellectually." He was aware that my most recent boyfriends were a lawyer and a college professor. He said something like, "I know I'm not lawyer, but..."

 

It just seemed like he was very concerned about it, and I didn't even bring it up.

 

In any case, I wasn't interested in him in particular, but I can see myself liking other men who don't have a formal education.

 

Does it matter to you?

[Osmium13]

Having a degree doesn't automatically infer intelligence or a better grasp of the world around you. It means you can absorb information from text books - and work on a paper long after it would have bored me to death.

 

My wife is living proof of that.

[RecentChange]

Yes and no (simple right?!)

 

I have a college education and my husband does not (attended some, but did not finish). He is bright, well read, and worked his way into position where he was the only one on the team without an engineering degree. He works with people that are educated and of the same social echelon as we are.

 

For us, it hasn’t really been an issue beyond the fact I am the primary bread winner (and even that isn’t an issue, but I know some couples are uncomfortable with the role reversal).

 

Now, we also met way back when I was in college, and grew into adulthood, we built our lives together. Its not like I was earning six figures then met a guy who digs ditches for a living.

 

Also – I point out that he works in a professional environment, because to me, that stuff does matter. I have friends in construction, electricians, plumbers etc., and I consider my friends the intelligent, progressive sort. Oh boy do they have stories, and complain about the idiots and meat heads they work with. While I (I work with attorneys primarily) never have the same kind of complaints. Neither did my husband when he was working with team of engineers.

 

For me, its not so much if they received a diploma for an upper level education – but how they earn their living today. Its it all brute strength, or do they get to use their minds? Are they surrounded by “locker room banter” 10 hours a day, or do they work with educated, considerate people?

[JewelD]

As long as they're able to support themselves and hold a stimulating conversation, I wouldn't care much.

 

I think college is a great experience that benefited me in almost every aspect of my life, but there are plenty of tools in college as well.

[ses]

I think it depends on the individual. For some a lack of formal education would be a deal breaker; for others, there are more important attributes to consider. Honestly, as someone who's still working towards their degree, I would and have felt intimidated. A basic degree doesn't tell you much about someone. There's some individuals out there with multiple letters after their name who are corrupt and unable to use their intellect.

 

My significant other has an advanced degree but knows there are multiple forms of intelligence. His background is in science, and I'm more obsessed with trivia and vocab, so we take turns teaching each other all the time.

[carhill]

What age range OP? 20's?

 

I ask because I would have answered the question different in my 20's and out of college versus now decades down the road.

 

Now:

 

Assuming you have a college education, are you okay with dating someone "working class" that does not have a degree?

No problem, women are far down the road to their life goals and have shown to learn a lot, or not, in their life journey. If they exhibit aptitude and curiosity about life and willingness to try new things, TBH, I don't even consider education. They could be a high school dropout.

 

I was lucky enough to be parented by a credentialed professional and a farm girl. Guess who taught me more about the nuts and bolts of life? The eighth grade graduate who built airplanes in WW2. And that professional guy? He worshiped her and died in her care. That's what life is all about.

 

Hope your research goes well. Good luck!

[strawberryshortstack]

I'm on the other side of this. I have no degree, but I've attended college and am close to an AS degree in Accounting.

 

Both of the men I'm dating have advanced college degrees and neither one of them has an issue with me not having one.

[carhill]

Experience varies but my experience over, eh, nearly four decades since entering college is that men, in general, don't mind a less educated women (my parents are a glaring example of that) but women do mind a less educated man. This pertains to marriage more than casual associations or dating. When I look around at all examples in my demographic and social circle, they're either equal or the man is more educated or has more advanced professional credentials.

 

However, I did date one lady who was far more advanced, being a doctor for 20 years when I dated her, and she didn't seem to mind my lesser education. We got along pretty well because, to my eye, she left the doctoring stuff at the hospital and we were just two people dating. I always admired that about her.

[Gaeta]

I am a professional and many times I have been on dates with men without college degree that were articulate, interesting, hard working, and well traveled.

 

I actually prefer being with men that work with their hands like electricians, welders, plumbers than with white collars. There is just something about a man with a good trade job that makes me feel safe. They are usually hard workers, reliable, and aren't afraid to get dirty. I wouldn't trade my electrician for any lawyers or doctors out there. He beats me at trivial pursuit every time so being cultivated is a choice. Many college graduates aren't cultivated at all.

Edited October 12, 2016 by Gaeta

[Toodaloo]

There are far too many men (and women) in the Whos Who rich list that do not have degrees or formal education to put so much stock on it.

 

Personally I look for drive in a man.

 

Does he want to be the best man he can be or is he just doing it because he can't work as anything else?

 

Does he have a passion for what he does?

 

Does he enjoy what he does?

 

Is he driven to go to work and do what he does, improve what he does?

 

Those things make a heck of a lot of difference.

 

Oh and I know many men who live in much larger houses and have far more in the bank than lawyers and accountants, men who have been bright and successful in very "brutish" jobs, waste control, construction etc... Snobbery is not attractive nor will it buy you a Bentley... Being highly driven and enthusiastic will.

[wmacbride]

Just because someone has a higher education, that doesn't make them any better relationship materials than someone who doesn't.

 

I have a much higher level of education than my husband, but he is a good, kind and very hardworking man, and is just as intelligent as I am, and in some ways, more so.

 

 

If I had to pick between someone who had an extensive education but who was a snobby jackass or someone who had less education but was happy, fun to be with and who makes me happy, I'd pick the second guy every time.

[sandylee1]

Though married now, I would have dated a guy with a less formal education, but he'd have to have a certain level of intellect. He' would have also needed to have a decent job too.

 

He wouldn't have fitted in with my family or circle of friends if he wasn't intelligent sounding.

[lucy_in_disguise]

Intelligence and education are not the same thing. Nor does either guarantee financial success.

 

I'd have no problem dating someone without a degree, but intelligence is non-negotiable. The years I spent earning, and using, my advanced professional credentials have made me jaded with regards to the value of a formal education, especially in fields like business and finance. These degrees provide financial value to the recipients, but I question the value to society. Someone working with their hands is at least producing something. The highly-educated, highly-paid douchebags I work with produce advice on complex financial instruments- not really something that makes the world a better place.

[Sunkissedpatio]

I've known some super dynamic, intellectually stimulating well-rounded guys who only finished high-school. My ex was one of those men, he had an executive-level corporate job and was super good at what he did and we never ran out of interesting things to talk about, debate, or catch up on and he was witty to boot.

 

For me that's where it's at.

 

Are they/do they:

• read the news?
  
• stay abreast of what is happening world-wide?
  
• have a deep meaningful conversations and are they interested in learning if they don't know something?
  
• ambitious enough to make things happen with the little educational resources they acquired along the way?
  

 

That's far more attractive to me than an MBA.

[l8estnews]

As long as the person is a hard-working guy, wise in handling money, has a sense of direction in life, and healthy outlook in life as well. Intelligence is not measured by School Certificates at all.

[mikeylo]

No size fits all. For some it's a deal breaker , for some it doesn't matter at all. There isn't a specific reply. It's a personal choice.