Just confused...feel free to help and ask questions...

[Iluvsiamese]

Weirder and weirder. She is certainly giving you the impression that she wants more, but is not coming through for you. Personally, I think that you should be glad that she is not. Trying to have a relationship with someone who is constantly playing head games and isn't honest with you is nightmarish. For whatever reason, she needs your attention and this is how she is getting it. She also doesn't want you to "get over it." If you do, she loses her power to get what she wants. She is also using your flatmate to get to you, but I doubt if he would appreciate a warning. Let him find out on his own.

 

She will continue to play her game as long as you will let her. If you think that you can handle the resulting escalation, ignore her as much as possible and be busy doing other things. If not, then life will continue with you being uncomfortable in your own home. You have the right to more than that.

 

The weekend was a blast, though not as much fun as the last shoot we were on. This shoot was a bit disorganized. Still, we met old friends and made new friends and enjoyed the time. There was a bonfire each night and music etc. One of the guys brought oysters--a favorite of mine. Some people didn't get to bed until the sun was coming up. How they managed to shoot the morning round was beyond me. We had the kids with us this weekend and they thought it was grand. They are now going to take up the sport so we are in the market for bows for them and for me. We were all pretty toasted when we got home last night--even the dog!

[Iluvsiamese]

Btw, her concept of maturity is a little off. Mature people who are reasonably well balanced do not feel the need to torture others with head games.

[youjustconfuseme]

Originally posted by Iluvsiamese

Weirder and weirder. She is certainly giving you the impression that she wants more, but is not coming through for you. Personally, I think that you should be glad that she is not. Trying to have a relationship with someone who is constantly playing head games and isn't honest with you is nightmarish. For whatever reason, she needs your attention and this is how she is getting it. She also doesn't want you to "get over it." If you do, she loses her power to get what she wants. She is also using your flatmate to get to you, but I doubt if he would appreciate a warning. Let him find out on his own.

 

She will continue to play her game as long as you will let her. If you think that you can handle the resulting escalation, ignore her as much as possible and be busy doing other things. If not, then life will continue with you being uncomfortable in your own home. You have the right to more than that.

 

The weekend was a blast, though not as much fun as the last shoot we were on. This shoot was a bit disorganized. Still, we met old friends and made new friends and enjoyed the time. There was a bonfire each night and music etc. One of the guys brought oysters--a favorite of mine. Some people didn't get to bed until the sun was coming up. How they managed to shoot the morning round was beyond me. We had the kids with us this weekend and they thought it was grand. They are now going to take up the sport so we are in the market for bows for them and for me. We were all pretty toasted when we got home last night--even the dog!

 

welcome back and it's really cool to hear the trip was really great (oysters are yummy) and again thanks so much for your advice and comments...as for her we can get on, and when we do we get on really well...she obviously does want to stay and I can handle her, we talked and I said to her cut the **** and don't be a bitch to me...it's her body langauge and the way that she looks at me that tells me things you know...I know what she is up too but I am just going let her think that she has power over me when in fact she actually doesn't because I can read her like a book now, it's quite entertaining and a lot of fun most of the time...I guess time will tell as to what happens.

 

And Yes she does love my attention and company I know that much.

[youjustconfuseme]

Originally posted by Iluvsiamese

Btw, her concept of maturity is a little off. Mature people who are reasonably well balanced do not feel the need to torture others with head games.

 

I'm guessing this is why she hasn't had a guy since she lived here, she told me that I need to grow up and I said NO I think it's you that needs to grow (did I mention that?) and also she told me that I sulk and I said I don't sulk I just don't talk to you when you piss me off...

 

I am curious about the knocking on my door thing?, why would she care if I was talking to her or not and why did she give me that sad look and say "Oh I was just wondering"...yeah she knows EXACTLY what she is doing, see this has been the confusing thing for me, not being able to figure her out but I am starting too and too be honest I think it's very sad.

[Iluvsiamese]

So you would be using her own game against her. Hmmmmm. As long as you can remain detached and just enjoy beating her at her own game, then go ahead. It might teach her something in the long run. Not many people enjoy being the target of that kind of manipulation--she needs to learn that.

 

So you enjoy oysters too? I only eat them two ways--raw on the half shell or breaded and fried in butter. Excellent. Can't say I care for them smoked. While everyone else is going nuts for lobster, I would pass on it for oysters any day.

[sanne]

your both playing games and you both need to grow up. you want this all to end, move out or tell her to move out and don't ever contact here again. this is getting a little out of hand if you ask me....

[youjustconfuseme]

How am I playing games?, I actually want the girl for some odd reason

[youjustconfuseme]

actually No I don't and I'm telling her to move out tonight.

[Iluvsiamese]

Give the guy a break. Initially, he was not interested in game playing. He was interested in her. He approached her in an honest straightforward manner but she was the one who verbally said no, but kept giving him the come on. She was playing a game, the name of which is still pretty much a mystery. His flatmate doesn't get it and won't back him up. Personally, I would have just told her to find herself another place and given her a deadline. But he still wanted to try and wasn't ready for that. While I am not into playing games back, I can see how this was one way to make it into something that he could cope with. As I said before, she needs to understand that most people don't like to be manipulated. Some of her own game might be good medicine for her. Interestingly enough, people who are the most insensitive to others are often the most sensitive themselves and can't handle getting back what they are dishing out.

 

I'm glad that he has had enough of it and is telling her to move on. These things get really tiresome in a hurry.

[youjustconfuseme]

The past few days we seem to be getting on alright, although last night I was a little confused as to why she was telling me about a scary dream about her ex(funny thing is I thought she said sexual dream and told her so and she goes No I wouldn't tell you about my sexual dreams anyway and I said I wouldn't tell you about my sexual dreams and we both laughed) but yeah she went on to tell me about this dream and while she was doing she was twirling her hair in her fingers and looking directly at me.

 

I do think that we can live together but I am still quite wary of her and her actions and I have my eye on her, the thing is despite the game playing bull**** she is a great room mate, really clean, she cooks and generally enjoys living with us 2 Men, but I still don't understand a lot of her actions towards me, I guess it's possible I am reading the signs all wrong?.

 

I think though that I might ask her to not to talk about her exes around me, cause I don't like it, it almost seems like she is saying "they had me and you can't and I know you want me still"...meh...just thoughts, I'm not going to let this girl get to me anymore and I heard that not talking to a girl or just ingnoring her blatantly is a sign you are upset with her,because you are actively trying to push her away and if I get mad with her I am showing her that she still has power over me (thanks Jen you are a jewel)

 

Iluvsiamese you are wonderful too, thanks.

[youjustconfuseme]

Here is the latest, on Saturday Night, myself, my other room mate and her all went out to a fantastic show and I met up with this little cutie that I asked to come along and when she met the girl (from now on we will call her K) K looked at me and then did said Hi which seemed a little fake anyways we had to stand in line as the crowd was huge and we were all chatting and I noticed that K had something on her mind she wouldn't give me eye contact and if I talked to her it would be all little ahem or don't knows...so I just focused all of my attention on the girl I was with and we were in seperate spots for the show so she spent all the time there with my good friend who I have noticed has been a little over friendly to her, anyways the show was incredible and there was some akwardness after the show as we decided to go to a bar somewhere and I just said "nah I'm just going to go home" and K just gave me a look and I said my goodbyes and walked this girl back into town.

 

Said goodnight and we said to each other let's do something again and she said yeah cool, we had a really good time and I should mention that she is a lot younger than me but doesn't act it...so the next morning K comes into the lounge and said things like "what happened to your little friend, she was quite the cutie, really nice and really talkative, never a dull moment with her"(she laughed when she said this) which actually felt like she was having digs at me so I just walked off and then she came into my room and asked if I wanted to go for a drive with them (her and my best bud) and I said "not sure yet" so anyways I went back into the kitchen and saw those 2 laughing and K saw me and she touched him on the arm, I get the feeling that she knew I was there anyways I walked out and then said "Oh yeah no I'm not coming for a drive, have fun"...

 

I got this overwhelming sense that something was going on and it was really pissing me off, I mean if they hooked up I would be jealous but my buddie is actually leaving in a month for a new job in another city.

 

So I texted K and said "Honesty is always the best policy" and when she came home she said "having a little text session are we"? and I said no not really I just want you tell me if you have something on your mind or to be honest if there is something you want to say to me and she said "well like what?" and I said the last thing I want to do is have a fight with you K so I am going to ask you something...and I asked her is there something going on with you and my bud? and she just shook her head and said "no, we just get on really well and we are good friends and i sense that can sometimes create bad vibes between you 2, (which to me says she knows exactly what she is doing) and then she said "so it's probably best that he is leaving" and then she said "and the other thing was I was thinking of moving out because of the expense ...and she also told me that I take things to personally(well wouldn't you if she laughs hard when you get the piss taken out of you by your best friend that is clearly out it impress?) and that I read too much into things...so I told just told her if you guys did hook up and kept if from me that would really hurt me and she said "it's not going to happen"...I also told her that I had never met anyone like her before and she said back to me "what does that mean?" (which is something I say to her!) and I said it means what it means and I told her that she was a puzzle and she just let out this big sigh and then walked off.

 

She went out after that, anyways a friend of hers came around and when K came back this girl and I were kind of flirting and K gave me this look and started humming and then focused all her attention on her friend and was quite loud while talking to her and mentioned the girl I went with to the show.

 

Later in the night we were just sitting around watching TV and we were talking about the night and she was asking me questions about the girl I went with and kept referring to her as your girl and said "I hope things work out for you, she's really nice"...hmmmmm...I also asked her when she would give me notice about moving out and she said "oh it was just a thought, I was just working out my finances"...also later in the night while we were watching a movie (all 3 of us) I noticed that we would mirror each other by playing with our hair, I would do it first and then she would do it there were a few looks between us last night too.

 

The odd thing is here is I know I could never have a relationship with this girl as she would do my head in but I am still strangely drawn to her and just can't figure her out but at the same time I am learning things as well.

 

Thanks if you read this, it is quite therapeutic for me.

[youjustconfuseme]

wow I just noticed that my random thoughts make for good writing well I am one (music) but in general I think I can write a good story...anyways there might be some of you out there that follow this like a daytime soap I know I do

 

Here is the latest update:

 

Basically a lot of hair flirting and looks tonight with nothing said (not in angry way though) but the way this girl fondled her mane (she's a damn Leo) when I told her I could get her a ticket for a really great show was incredible...also of interest I heard her talking about me when I wasn't in the lounge (it was almost that she knew I would hear or something).

 

And when she did speak to me she would always say my name at the end of each sentence...It's an odd and strange scenario this whole K thing but it also fascinates and intrigues me, I feel like I am changing and becoming an even better person with the stuff I deal with.

[youjustconfuseme]

I have just decided that this girl is immature and trys to be someone she is not ,and is just not good for my head, she is NOT worth caring or even thinking about, I am going to keep things very civil between us because the attraction factor is lost now, she just annoys me more than anything...It kind of says to me why she has been single for over 4 months, I see guys checking her out but she gives out this "better than you" vibe sometimes.

 

It still puzzles me as to why she wants to stay living here you know, I guess she enjoys the games cos lately we don't say much at all...just look at each other.

 

I also feel that she is trying to come between myself and my best friend and I don't need people like that in my life.

[sanne]

man, please don't take this too harshly, but you are doing this all to yourself. you are putting yourself through this torture, not her. if you want it to stop, tell her to move the hell out, don't contact her, and move on with your life. you obviously still have feelings for this girl which is why your still sticking around.

[youjustconfuseme]

Originally posted by sanne

man, please don't take this too harshly, but you are doing this all to yourself. you are putting yourself through this torture, not her. if you want it to stop, tell her to move the hell out, don't contact her, and move on with your life. you obviously still have feelings for this girl which is why your still sticking around.

 

It's my place dude, I have been here for 2 years...and I think you are wrong to be honest, she knows what she is doing and did you not read the post where I said i just don't care anymore?

 

I don't have feelings for her anymore, I still think she is a beautiful girl but she doesn't have the personality too match in a way I will agree with you cos I do see that by the way I react to her bull**** allows her to have power over me.

 

So she is the ONE that is staying, my best friend leaves in a month and she wants to stay on, why?...I have no idea.