AMarriedMan Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 (edited) I wrote on the Separation and Divorce forum about problems in my marriage this January. Since then, things have improved clearly. My wife has not been verbally/emotionally abusing me by starting fights seemingly out of nowhere and threatening me with divorce every couple of weeks for about three months now. My wife had to leave my daughter and me to take care of her seriously ill mother (cancer treatments) for three weeks last summer. During that time, our eight-year-old daughter started to behave toward me in ways that reminded me of the way things were between my wife and I at the very worst. When I told my wife what our daughter had said to me in anger, and that his was the damage witnessing the verbal/emotional abuse between us was doing to her, I could see in my wife's face that she was shocked to the core. I have really enjoyed the peace. During the last week or two, our daughter has brought up her desire to have a sibling. My wife is cautiously in favor of the idea. My mind is set against it and I would not buckle under any amount of pressure. There are medical, social, and financial reasons why we should not have another child. We are both over 40 years of age. My wife has a near-tachycardia level resting heart rate, about 50 pounds of excess body fat, and a history of mood instability (the latter not diagnosed by any mental health professional, though). Our parents are all too old and living too far to provide us with any respite. I'm in a dead-end job in an industry with a high level of age discrimination. I have, at best, a decade left of earning a decent upper middle-class salary. My wife's career is in a much better shape but she is often so tired that I have difficulty seeing how she could cope with her workload and a toddler demanding her care and attention after returning from maternity leave. The sleep deprivation alone would be certain to push her over the edge. AM Edited October 14, 2016 by AMarriedMan Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 Tell your wife you don't want another child for the reasons stated a nd you can both let your daughter know (in a nice way) that there not be another sibling. If you never want another child, it might be best to permanently sort it out. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted October 14, 2016 Share Posted October 14, 2016 I would be scheduling a vasectomy if I were you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 I would be scheduling a vasectomy if I were you! Amen. After each of our first two kids, my wife and I had ongoing discussions about more kids. And while we were discussing, she got pregnant. After child #3, I had a vasectomy... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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