DoubleForNothing Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 (edited) Hey guys, this is my first time creating a thread in a forum, usually i'm not interested in that kind of stuff. Anyway, i've been curious lately about womans behaviour in a relationship. I'm a 21 year old guy dating a 24 year old ( almost posted with 14 writen insteead of 24, boy that would've been awfull o.o). We're being separated by 146 miles between us. it's kind of a new relationship, we've been like this for around 7 months now. We're planing on finally meeting on December this year, to spend the new year together. Right to the topic. Her an I have been in a sticky position since the very day we decided to start a relationship. We've been arguing nonstop (i mean like almost ripping eachothers throats arguing ) but we've kinda started getting better lately. so that doesn't bother me as much anymore. The thing is she is a virgin, or at least she says so and i believe her honestly. Regardlessly she's super sexually frustrated, we get alot of sexual talks that she starts. I as a man am not all sexual as she is i look at internal values (no, no bull, sex is the least i care about in a descent relationship). We've gotten pretty comfortable to eachother and all. I buy her things she really wants, sometimes she sends m,e these cute letters and all. Note: She is 24 years old but her personality reflects a behaviour of an 18 yro. She's really lazy, she's living with her mother. Her mother is really mad about the way she's dealing with her life, she's not trying to find a job, not trying to find a place to live, she's afraid of responsibilities. Anyway i've been motivating her to take responsibility for her life, i even told her that if she came to live with me i would do everything in my power to get us started for a life together as lojng as she is willing to try and keep up with me. but she doesn't want that it's like she's saying that she doesn't like the place i'm living in and blah bl;ah blah excuses over excuses, the thing she desperatelly want to get out of her mothers hands but she's not even trying. Anyway i keep offering her all that i can give. her response ? well.... ''u will get it in December'' ''it's woth more than you'' which killed smething inside me.... i don't know how to act towards her anymore.... she litterally has nothing to offer to me except sex..... :(:( How should i act in this situation ? I need and outsight from you guys, give me advices please. Thank you all for reading. Double for Nothing out... Could it be that i'm too mature for her ? and rushing things too fast or maybe pushing her too much ? Edited October 15, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Changed title to something more gender neutral Link to post Share on other sites
Nowty V Posted October 15, 2016 Share Posted October 15, 2016 We're planing on finally meeting on December this year, to spend the new year together. So, you've never met this alleged person, could be a Giraffe, could be a Man. We've been arguing nonstop, i mean like almost ripping eachothers throats arguing This is so unhealthy and just the kind of atmosphere an abuser likes to foster, who's the abuser, you or him? The thing is she is a virgin, or at least she says so and i believe her honestly. It could tell you it was The Man in the Moon and you couldn't prove squat! I buy her things she really wants, Now we're getting down to it, you're blowing your money on something you have never met .. Does that really sound like the actions of an intelligent person? You're being rolled until December. Anyway i keep offering her all that i can give. This gets better, you're unwise actions know no bounds. ''u will get it in December'' If it's a man you could be trussed up and squealing like a pig. How should i act in this situation ? Shut down all contact with this figure and save your money. Take some 'awareness' classes. Try and figure out why you behave in such an illogical way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DoubleForNothing Posted October 15, 2016 Author Share Posted October 15, 2016 (edited) Uhm i guess i should have mentioned this haha. She's a woman . We've been chatting on skype , whatsapp, steam, phone talks and phone messaging for this whole time so i'm certain she's not a man nor she is a ''giraffe''. We talk every day, she has opened up to me quite a majority of her life and so have i. it's not an annonymous relationship as you think. Edited October 15, 2016 by DoubleForNothing Link to post Share on other sites
Nowty V Posted October 16, 2016 Share Posted October 16, 2016 Just be careful. There are so many red flags flying due to her behaviour and Impression that sex is something she brings to the relationship. You could get there and find she is as mad as a box of frogs in RL, leaving you looking for the nearest exit. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 What do you do? You go find a more suitable GF that fulfills your expectations. You can paint a turd gold...it's still a turd. Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovelifeforwhatcome Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 Hey guys, this is my first time creating a thread in a forum, usually i'm not interested in that kind of stuff. Anyway, i've been curious lately about womans behaviour in a relationship. I'm a 21 year old guy dating a 24 year old ( almost posted with 14 writen insteead of 24, boy that would've been awfull o.o). We're being separated by 146 miles between us. it's kind of a new relationship, we've been like this for around 7 months now. We're planing on finally meeting on December this year, to spend the new year together. Right to the topic. Her an I have been in a sticky position since the very day we decided to start a relationship. We've been arguing nonstop (i mean like almost ripping eachothers throats arguing ) but we've kinda started getting better lately. so that doesn't bother me as much anymore. The thing is she is a virgin, or at least she says so and i believe her honestly. Regardlessly she's super sexually frustrated, we get alot of sexual talks that she starts. I as a man am not all sexual as she is i look at internal values (no, no bull, sex is the least i care about in a descent relationship). We've gotten pretty comfortable to eachother and all. I buy her things she really wants, sometimes she sends m,e these cute letters and all. Note: She is 24 years old but her personality reflects a behaviour of an 18 yro. She's really lazy, she's living with her mother. Her mother is really mad about the way she's dealing with her life, she's not trying to find a job, not trying to find a place to live, she's afraid of responsibilities. Anyway i've been motivating her to take responsibility for her life, i even told her that if she came to live with me i would do everything in my power to get us started for a life together as lojng as she is willing to try and keep up with me. but she doesn't want that it's like she's saying that she doesn't like the place i'm living in and blah bl;ah blah excuses over excuses, the thing she desperatelly want to get out of her mothers hands but she's not even trying. Anyway i keep offering her all that i can give. her response ? well.... ''u will get it in December'' ''it's woth more than you'' which killed smething inside me.... i don't know how to act towards her anymore.... she litterally has nothing to offer to me except sex..... :(:( How should i act in this situation ? I need and outsight from you guys, give me advices please. Thank you all for reading. Double for Nothing out... Could it be that i'm too mature for her ? and rushing things too fast or maybe pushing her too much ? Overall she doesn't sound like a desirable person to date. I'm not being mean, I'm telling the truth. I was in a CD relationship w/a guy that had no goals, no ambition etc. I thought I could put up w/this, but in the end I ended up frustrated and extremely heartbroken. You do not want a lazy partner, believe me, my ex had a job, but he was lazy. Do you want to be supporting her your whole life (if you get married/move in together)? No amount of talk from your end will encourage her to get a job and much less motivation if you are supporting her. If sex is the only thing she can offer you, that will get old quick. Sexual and physical attraction only account for a part of the relationship and you cannot sustain a connection purely on that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I'm a 21 year old guy dating a 24 year old Well, you've never met her, so I can't see how you could have possibly dated her. You TALK to her, that's all you're doing, for the time being. Words are important. Let's call a spade a spade. We're being separated by 146 miles Maybe you can try and explain to us how you can be 146 miles from each other, aka like a 4-hour drive from your potential date and you've never met up in 7 months, with summer inbetween too (let's say March to October). We're planing on finally meeting on December this year, to spend the new year together. I'm not sure that's a good idea. New year's eve usually is a looong night, often till the early morning hours (6 am?) and if it weren't so, it potentially is. And you're going to bind yourself to spend it with someone you don't really know. Who knows if things will click in person? You don't really know. There have been many cases on here of people who didn't click, and sad or angry because afterwards because of that. Some didn't even have a clue that things didn't click and had to face it once the other person was distant again, but this time the distance was also at heart. Her an I have been in a sticky position since the very day we decided to start a relationship. Which is when? I mean how soon after or long after virtually meeting her online did you decide to start a relationship? And how do you decide to start a relationship with someone you don't know and have never met in the flesh? It's not just about looks, it's about smell, chemistry, how the others carry themselves, behavior towards others in social contexts... you fall in love with the person, you don't fall in love with the idea of someone. The latter will bring nothing good. We've been arguing nonstop (i mean like almost ripping eachothers throats arguing) Well, I think that can happen in very tense situations, when someone's going through a lot in their life, etc. But you have the honeymoon phase first, then it can go downhill, and anyway, it should be a transition time, not permanent or ongoing. And if it's ongoing, it shouldn't last too long. In your case, it looks like it was fighting to kill since the start, and it doesn't look good for neither of you. Why would you pursue such a relationship? What's good to be saved? Is she giving? Altruistic? She shows her love in ways you would have never imagined possible? Does she go out of her way for you? Because if nothing of that applies to her, then I'm not sure what draws you to her exactly. The thing is she is a virgin, or at least she says so and i believe her honestly. Regardlessly she's super sexually frustrated, we get alot of sexual talks that she starts. That means she's using you to relieve her sexual tension. You're currently covering a pretty well-defined role in her life. Are you sure that's what you want to be? I as a man am not all sexual as she is So that might be a clue that you're not really compatible with one another. Just think of such a mismatch long term (decades), and you get the picture. I buy her things she really wants, sometimes she sends m,e these cute letters and all. Is she asking for stuff? Or sending subliminal messages your way? And anyway, she responds to your material gifts with just cute letters? I mean cute letters are nice, but she's even older than you, and she doesn't send you any gifts? From my point of view, that's not very promising. I can't see potential worth developing, so far. She's really lazy, she's living with her mother. Her mother is really mad about the way she's dealing with her life, she's not trying to find a job, not trying to find a place to live, she's afraid of responsibilities. There might be issues causing all that. Chances are she'll go from her parents' house to her husband's home seamlessly. Now, she's OK with pocket money from mommy, later she might be more demanding with hubby's piggy bank. Especially if she's always been used to a certain lifestyle (where her own work is not involved). You tried to encourage her, but she doesn't want to be prompted. She wants to live her life her own way. So you should definitely stop being her counsellor. She proved to you she doesn't want that. And you're forcing your way into someone else's life uselessly. She doesn't like where you live either, and doesn't seem that interested in living with you. You'd be fooling yourself thinking otherwise. I couldn't detect any excitement either, thinking ahead, or thinking about the future. she desperatelly want to get out of her mothers hands She will need to do that by herself. Or have a friend or best friend help her do so. Not you. If she doesn't have friends, that's another clue that she might not be the ideal girl for you to date. she litterally has nothing to offer to me except sex..... Kind of sad, isn't it? How should i act in this situation ? Move on and look elsewhere? Could it be that i'm too mature for her ? No. Mature men wouldn't make the decisions you made, that is being in a relationship with someone you've never met, and offering her to live with you, when she doesn't have a job, nor is willing to find one, and we don't even know if she has any skills or training for any job whatsoever? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chris516 Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Horror of horrors!!! She sounds like my (ex)wife!!!! My (ex)wife screamed at me about not letting her do things that required responsibility. But when I gave her the opportunity, she called it a 'heavy issue'. Then turned around and refused to do it!! Don't be her parent, because that is not your place. Her mother should be making her take responsibility!!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Looks like a "I don't like what I hear" OP is gone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Looks like a "I don't like what I hear" OP is gone. Maybe she can't find the forum, or her password... or she's simply trying to process all the information given. Link to post Share on other sites
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