RecordProducer Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by FlutterBug Thanks to all who responded to my post. My husband and I have been discussing all the comments and have reached a conclusion. I am going to buy a mushy card and write a mushy note in it. I'm going to say I love him, miss him, miss the sex... it's been 2 weeks since he's been to Florida, when is he coming back? ... sign it from his girlfriend in Orlando and mail it to his wife. OMFG!!!!! I can't believe this! Now you're going to play games and cheat too!!!! Who's going to be the honest person to tell her that the two of you have been dishonest now? You have no courage to tell her the truth in her face, but you will use dirty tricks to break her heart. Besides, just one card won't make her divorce him. It doesn't seem like your motives about the whole thing are chaste. Do you want him out of the business or do you want his wife out of the picture? You're trying to play God here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FlutterBug Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 "OMFG!!!!! I can't believe this! Now you're going to play games and cheat too!!!! Who's going to be the honest person to tell her that the two of you have been dishonest now? You have no courage to tell her the truth in her face, but you will use dirty tricks to break her heart. Besides, just one card won't make her divorce him. . It doesn't seem like your motives about the whole thing are chaste. Do you want him out of the business or do you want his wife out of the picture? You're trying to play God here." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- RP I admitted to not wanting to tell her face to face. So??? You have no idea what my "purpose" is yet you presume to know and pass judgment. I don't [removed inappropriate comment] if he stays in the business as long as he doesn't cause harm to it by the legal ramifications of his actions with employees OR if she divorces him or not. She has a right to know. Period. He and all his girlfriends in all the different cities should be busted. I just might send her a hundred cards! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 I didn't make assumptions, I asked questions. You're planning on doing something dishonest and hurtful. You're twisting the truth, because as much as her husband is hurting her by cheating, at least she doesn't deal with humiliation like getting cards from his GFs where they say that the sex was great. It's completely your idea to destroy her emotionally by sending her fake messages. Her husband is a liar, That card is a lie. It's not just what you achieve, but also how you achieve it. Obviously you think that the goal justifies the means. If you were in her shoes, would you like to be told honestly that your husband is unfaithful or would you rather receive a false nasty card? What if she gets so upset and crashes her car in the stressful moments? Wouldn't you feel responsible? Link to post Share on other sites
passing by Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 I dont' think your plan to mail a card is a good one. I think it is too obvious. The trampo in FLA will deny mailing it of course, the cheater will become suspicious and your H will be the prime suspect since your H has expressed is disapproval of the cheater's behavior. YOur H will look like the bad guy buisiness partner trying to ruin things for Senor Pig. He can use this against your H, shifting blame on your H. What about hiring P.I. to take pics and sending them to the W? There's no denying pics. Link to post Share on other sites
Rosalind Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Originally posted by RecordProducer What if she gets so upset and crashes her car in the stressful moments? good point, RP Link to post Share on other sites
Leah Posted July 11, 2005 Share Posted July 11, 2005 Let's just get real... That woman has lived with this moron long enough to know what he's all about ... and it was so stated that she knew previously he had prior affairs and afterward sought council. I doubt seriously that after having learned about the first affair and having lived through it (without smashing her car into a tree ) that she's going to go off and commit suicide now ... please !! The only moral thing to do is let the woman know and then let HER make the decisions from there ... this shouldnt be such a big problem !! If you don't want to do it, I'll be happy to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FlutterBug Posted July 11, 2005 Author Share Posted July 11, 2005 Bought the card! It's real pretty, picture of a bed, pillow, rumpled covers. On the inside it reads " it's empty without you." !!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 The thrill this whole thing gives you makes it obvious that you're doing it for your own pleasure and not to help the woman. You're going to cheat and lie and use dirty tricks. I wonder why do you think you have the right to play with people's destinies. Get a life, woman! Link to post Share on other sites
Leah Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Obviously, you've gone to great lengths to consider the validity of your actions and how they will affect others. You've done well, Flutterbug. I just hope I have someone as thoughtful and caring as you and your husband in my life if I ever suffer this horrible experience. I'm sure this woman will be extremely greatful that you've chosen to help her empower herself. Bravo Flutterbug. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Something's really messed up here. In the name of honesty, you're planning to forge a filthy letter?? Sorry, I can't approve. BTW, are you SURE that they are really having an affair? Did you actually see them? Or is it possible that you are passing on an unsubstantiated rumor? Have you ever heard of the term "mind your own business"? Link to post Share on other sites
Rosalind Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 FlutterBug... I find this thread very disturbing. You're deriving far too much pleasure from this...I think what you are doing (sending a card) is extremely b*tchy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FlutterBug Posted July 12, 2005 Author Share Posted July 12, 2005 Sole - There have been many, many, many witnesses to his illicit behavior in Orlando, New Orleans, Las Vegas, Baltimore, Philly, the list goes on and on. If he doesn't have a girlfriend in his destination city he'll fly the slut from Orlando to meet him. They've been caught groping each other and share the same hotel room. I may be wrong, but I really don't think they are baking cookies in their Easy Bake Ovens. Leah - Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Leah Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 You're quite welcome. You and your husband are willing to help another who is in great need... you're both good and moral people. Link to post Share on other sites
Rosalind Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Originally posted by FlutterBug There have been many, many, many witnesses to his illicit behavior in Orlando, New Orleans, Las Vegas, Baltimore, Philly, the list goes on and on. If he doesn't have a girlfriend in his destination city he'll fly the slut from Orlando to meet him. They've been caught groping each other and share the same hotel room. I may be wrong, but I really don't think they are baking cookies in their Easy Bake Ovens. And this should be any of your business - why??? Link to post Share on other sites
millefiori Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Honestly, I don't understand people's attitude here. Does none of the critics feel some pity for the wife? You all would prefer to be in a situation where everyone except you knows that your partner is a male public whore? She's planning her life together with this man, she may want to have kids with him, not knowing how he really is. It's ok to watch this guy ruining his wife's life, because it's not your business?? And if you don't like the idea with the card, how many of you would have the courage to approach this woman that you barely know to tell her that her husband is cheating on her in every city where's he's doing business? Even if you were right and even if she appreciated the honesty, she would still feel incredibly humiliated by the mere fact that someone she barely knows has more information about her husbands affairs than his own wife. Sometimes people have a lot of pride and do not want to look as if they are in need of any generous acts of pity. RecordProducer, a lot of your posts are great, but with respect, sometimes you come up with the most absurd conclusions about people I see on this messageboard. Link to post Share on other sites
floatinglotus Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 I am uncomfortable with forging the card and agree that your husband may be the prime suspect. Do you really want to invite trouble? IMHO, the best solution would be to write an empathetic letter, outlining the dirty deeds of this poor woman's husband and leave it at that. Sending forged cards is a wee childish. I'm sure we're all above 18 here. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Originally posted by FlutterBug Here is my dilemma. I think the wife should be told. It's one thing to be a fool, it's an entirely different matter to be a public fool. I would want to know. Ever though that maybe she suspects but does not really want to know?? Maybe they have an "arrangement".... Mind you own business is my advice Link to post Share on other sites
Leah Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Well then... if they have an arrangement, it won't bother wife to be told about what she already knows FlutterBug, I think you've already reached the conclusion you sought haven't you and probably already taken action? So maybe any further rhetoric is just a moot point. Thanks again for being person enough to stand up and do for another what you'd surely want done for yourself if the tables were turned (and for not letting others "mind YOUR own business!") There should be more people like you in this world. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Originally posted by FlutterBug Okay, I know I'm going to get a lot of flack about this but here goes. My husband's married business partner is having multiple affairs with company employees. They do a lot of traveling and this man has at least one "girl friend" in each city they travel to. If he's going to a place where he doesn't have a girlfriend he'll make arrangements for one to meet him. His wife found out about one of them a couple of years ago but they reconciled, went to counseling, he promised that it would never happen again, etc. She took him back and is now thinking everything is peachy keen. My husband has talked to him about the infidelity first and foremost and secondarily about the legal ramifications of "dipping your pen in the company ink". Everyone from business associates, to all other employees, know except her. Here is my dilemma. I think the wife should be told. It's one thing to be a fool, it's an entirely different matter to be a public fool. I would want to know. I am also concerned for her because of all the diseases running rampant. I need advice on whether or not to tell her and if so, how to go about it. Should I send an anonymous note or letter telling her to "surprise" him on his next out of town trip, or one with names/dates/cities, a telephone call, or just mind my own business? I must admit that I am chicken/coward to do a face-to-face. We don't really know each other as we live in different states and our husband's offices are out of our homes. And one last thing. He has bragged publically that he stays with her because she makes a "huge" salary. Any suggestions? This IS a dilemma. On one hand you want to help a friend. On another, you should remain out of this. Are they Christians? This is the only sin for which God will allow for divorce. I have to wonder if the wife suspects or is even aware but is in denial. She may not want a divorce and is putting up with his outrageous behavior. I guess if you really want to get involved, send her an anonymous note telling her he is cheating. He will figure out who sent it but she will not. Good luck. Tough situation you have here. Link to post Share on other sites
millefiori Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Read too fast. Link to post Share on other sites
Jijomo Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Any news on how it turned out? Link to post Share on other sites
Leah Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 I'm curious to know how it is this man is going to know who told his wife via the letter but she will not know?. I'd say neither would possibly have any clue who told because he goes public with his affairs, as stated in the original post ... at conventions, etc. This man has no way in the world of knowing who sends the letter !! As for them being "Christians".... well, consider the following scripture then answer your own question: Matthew 12:46-50, Mark 3: 31-35, Luke 8:19 Jesus says, "Whosoever does the will of God is my brother, and my sister and mother." Luke 14:25-33 "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters--yes, even his own life--he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Link to post Share on other sites
New_Wife Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Here's my concern with the card plan. What if the wife doesn't open his mail? Then he gets this bogus card, and is alerted that someone's trying to unmask him. I don't open my husband's mail. He doesn't open mine. He could if he wanted, and I could open his too, I just don't. Seems invasive and disrespectful to me. Now, if he gets something I really want to see, I'll call him and ask if I can open it & he always says "go ahead". But I don't think I'm the only wife on the planet who is like this. You could be opening yourself up to a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedInOC Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Originally posted by Leah I'm curious to know how it is this man is going to know who told his wife via the letter but she will not know?. I'd say neither would possibly have any clue who told because he goes public with his affairs, as stated in the original post ... at conventions, etc. This man has no way in the world of knowing who sends the letter !! IMHO, if his Business Partner is discussing his infidelity and all the sudden his wife gets a letter, it won't take Sherlock Holmes to figure that one out. As for them being "Christians".... well, consider the following scripture then answer your own question: Matthew 12:46-50, Mark 3: 31-35, Luke 8:19 Jesus says, "Whosoever does the will of God is my brother, and my sister and mother." How do we know what God's will is in regards to their relationship? Are these brothers and sisters in Christ? If so, then yes, I believe we are obligated to help them. If not, I believe it's better to stay out of it. Luke 14:25-33 "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters--yes, even his own life--he cannot be my disciple. And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. I sort of understand this verse, but how does it apply in this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts