9Lives Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 We get a long great but he is not as giving to me as I would like. He is always buying himself something. Nice expensive things. I clearly have some needs and I wonder why he has not offered to help out. How do I get him to want to do more for me without sounding b/itchy or nagging or jealous. He has alot of money and I think he should spend more on me. What say you? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 I clearly have some needs and I wonder why he has not offered to help out. Because he may not see those needs as clearly as you do - he could just be oblivious to them. Whether or not he is oblivious by choice will determine how forthcoming he will be with his giftgiving. How do I get him to want to do more for me without sounding b/itchy or nagging or jealous. You mean getting him to give you gifts, or give you a loan? If you have stuff that needs to be paid off, let him know that you are strapped for cash and would he mind floating you a loan? If it is gifts and a lavish showering of monetary goodness you want: generosity and giftgiving are things that can't be coerced. If you try to, then giftgiving becomes obligational and therefore pointless. He has to want to give you things. Have you talked to him about this at all? Or hinted about stuff you would like to have for birthday/Xmas/etc to see his reaction? He has alot of money and I think he should spend more on me. Unless he sees it that way, it won't happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted July 10, 2005 Author Share Posted July 10, 2005 I think I am going to ask like you said. Do you think I can say something like I seen these gym shoes I like, would you buy them for me. Or what should I say Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 Take him with you shopping. 'Discover' the shoes, and then say "Oh my gosh! I can't believe this - I've been looking for some like these forever!" Then, look sad and say wistfully: "I wish I had the money in my account to get these. I can't believe I found them at a time where I can't afford them." I can't think of any less subtle hint to see if he will offer to buy them for you. If he does, then its just a matter of dropping hints, I guess. If he doesn't offer, and says nothing, ask him if he would mind lending you the money to buy them, and offer to pay him back. If he says no, then you can smile, put them down and continue on with your day. Act like it doesn't bother you!! If it happens this way a couple of times, then you'll know what you have to deal with. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted July 10, 2005 Author Share Posted July 10, 2005 How about this approach I am going to say. i was wondering if you would give me 100 so I can buy some things for myself. I need some shoes and some "girl stuff" Is this too forward? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 Yeah, the 'give me' part seems presumptuous. I don't know his general manner, but I would think that he would be put off by that approach. How about something more gentle like... "I was wanting to get some things for myself but don't have the money right now. Would you mind helping me out?" (fluttering eyelashes optional) That way you are establishing a need for money that you don't have, and that you would like his help in buying you some things. Establishing a 'need' gives a better justification than establishing a 'want' based only on you wanting him to share the wealth. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted July 10, 2005 Author Share Posted July 10, 2005 okay we see if that works Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted July 10, 2005 Author Share Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia Yeah, the 'give me' part seems presumptuous. I don't know his general manner, but I would think that he would be put off by that approach. How about something more gentle like... "I was wanting to get some things for myself but don't have the money right now. Would you mind helping me out?" (fluttering eyelashes optional) That way you are establishing a need for money that you don't have, and that you would like his help in buying you some things. Establishing a 'need' gives a better justification than establishing a 'want' based only on you wanting him to share the wealth. okay how about this way "I was wanting to get some things for myself that I dont have the money for right now. Would you mind helping me out? I need some "girl stuff" and shoes. about $100 Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 Sounds like it would be ok. Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 Maybe instead of focusing your attention on your own financial independence and success. Link to post Share on other sites
Rosalind Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 jvjrose and LucreziaBorgia..you are both too funny But hey, sounds like a good plan Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted July 10, 2005 Author Share Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by InmannRoshi Maybe instead of focusing your attention on your own financial independence and success. Well that is a good point. I should do that too and I do but hey....he is my man..what is wrong with him doing things for me. I get tired of hearing that he brought this and that. P/ssy aint free. When a man is willing to invest his time, his body, his mind, and his money into you....he is really interested....take out one of those elements and there could be some problems i think Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted July 10, 2005 Author Share Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by Rosalind jvjrose and LucreziaBorgia..you are both too funny But hey, sounds like a good plan yeah girl I mean I aint trying to take him to the bank or anything but I want him to spend money on me too. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 start withholding sex and then his wallet may open up Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 Hey alpha, some of us have spouses, gf's, fiance's that read this posts. Don't give them any ideas! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted July 10, 2005 Author Share Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by VirginiaBob Hey alpha, some of us have spouses, gf's, fiance's that read this posts. Don't give them any ideas! That is funny. Why you dont want to do anything for your woman? Link to post Share on other sites
shygurl Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by jvjrose We get a long great but he is not as giving to me as I would like. He is always buying himself something. Nice expensive things. I clearly have some needs and I wonder why he has not offered to help out. How do I get him to want to do more for me without sounding b/itchy or nagging or jealous. He has alot of money and I think he should spend more on me. What say you? He works for his money, he can spend whatever the h*ll he pleases on himself and who are you to have a problem with this? Since when does he have any obligation to buy you things or help you out? He's not your Dad or husband, right? God woman - get off your duff and make your own money to spend on yourself - you sound like such a whiny golddigger. Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 Why you dont want to do anything for your woman? huh? Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 He works for his money, he can spend whatever the h*ll he pleases on himself and who are you to have a problem with this? Since when does he have any obligation to buy you things or help you out? He's not your Dad or husband, right? God woman - get off your duff and make your own money to spend on yourself - you sound like such a whiny golddigger. Absolutely true!! If he is not your husband, he has absolutely no financial obligation to you. Well that is a good point. I should do that too and I do but hey....he is my man..what is wrong with him doing things for me. I get tired of hearing that he brought this and that. P/ssy aint free. When a man is willing to invest his time, his body, his mind, and his money into you....he is really interested....take out one of those elements and there could be some problems i think I can't believe I'm reading this crap. P/ssy aint free. OMG! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted July 10, 2005 Author Share Posted July 10, 2005 I dont know if he is cheap or he just does not think about it or what. But I need some suggestions on how to ask for money from him when I want some or need some. Normally, I have been with guys who were free with their resources but he is not. I just need to find ways to get past that without it turning into a big ordeal. I am very generous with him. It's not a big deal right now but it could turn into one if I dont start thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
VirginiaBob Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 Are you married to him? If not, he has no responsibility to give you any money. You sound like a gold-digger and don't really care about him. Link to post Share on other sites
shygurl Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by VirginiaBob Are you married to him? If not, he has no responsibility to give you any money. You sound like a gold-digger and don't really care about him. She's not married to him because he's already married - to his WIFE. What's this world coming to when a mistress/golddigger can't muster up the gold?! (note sarcasm). I'm sure he's spending his cold, hard cash on his wife - as it should be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted July 10, 2005 Author Share Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by shygurl He works for his money, he can spend whatever the h*ll he pleases on himself and who are you to have a problem with this? Since when does he have any obligation to buy you things or help you out? He's not your Dad or husband, right? God woman - get off your duff and make your own money to spend on yourself - you sound like such a whiny golddigger. I work 7 days a week so I am by no means lazy. It is not that I am after his money. That is not what the relationship is built on. But I feel like we should share everything including his money. I use to make his lunch for him everyday during the week saving him lots of money. I have purchase a mini pod for him. I have brought his lunch sometimes. I have purchased drinks for us, food, etc. I know you think I dont have anything to complain about but really I would like him to be more generous. He does stuff for me too but it is not enough. Link to post Share on other sites
millefiori Posted July 10, 2005 Share Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by jvjrose P/ssy aint free. What???? That sounds like a Jerry Springer personality. Some people's attitude really leave me baffled. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 9Lives Posted July 10, 2005 Author Share Posted July 10, 2005 Originally posted by millefiori What???? That sounds like a Jerry Springer personality. Some people's attitude really leave me baffled. ha, ha Not all all....not at all. Hey I am being straight up. Women like money...Men like sex. It is true. It is not that I dont love my man or vice versa...he is just a little cheat man. I am not used to that. I want it to change because I a very generous. Link to post Share on other sites
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