Sincerly-KK Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 ?? so I posted in a previous post about my husband going to his friends babyshower the same day of my birthday I really wasnt that upset until the day came for him to go to the baby shower that I found out that the girl babyshower that he was attending was his ex girlfriend ? Which I had no idea about he told me years ago that they were only good friends, I'm friends with his bestfriend girl friend and she told me that he told his best friend that he use to date the girl that's having the babyshower....when I asked him about it he denied everything and got mad.... This is not the only time that I found things out about him. It's like he is a whole different person when I'm not around him, it feels like when he goes out with his best friend he acts single, as far as getting other woman numbers going to strip clubs staying out till 5:00am, every time me and his best friend girlfriend hangs out she always have a story for me about something that my husband did... I'm so Frustrated with all the lies. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 18, 2016 Share Posted October 18, 2016 What is this new thing with men attending baby and bridal showers? I hate having men there because it used to be so much fun with just us women. Now it's just another damn party with the men being there. Sorry, rant over. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 Why would any man want to go to a freaking baby shower. No offense but that is girl stuff. Men should not go to that type of stuff. Also, OP, how long have you been married? I think hubby has some issues. And you may want to look into whether or not he is cheating. But going to a baby shower of his ex on your birthday, that is just so wrong I don't even know where to start. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 Wow. That is seriously sad. Are you sure it's not his baby? I'd never put up with my man going out without me regularly, and he'd never want to anyway. It sounds to me like you haven't got much of a relationship happening there. Go out with your girlfriends on your birthday and enjoy yourself- perhaps start eyeing up some replacements for your dud husband. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 He's probably not even bringing her a gift! And why weren't you invited? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 He's probably not even bringing her a gift! And why weren't you invited? It would totally be appropriate for you to attend with him. My husband would have no interest in attending anyone's baby shower. He would view it as some sort of punishment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sincerly-KK Posted October 19, 2016 Author Share Posted October 19, 2016 He actually brought her a gift, she did invite me but he didn't want me to go ? Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 He actually brought her a gift, she did invite me but he didn't want me to go ? Why didn't he want you to go? Was he afraid you would hear something?? Like another poster has said, are you sure it isn't his kid? This is a huge red flag... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Whoknew30 Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 My dad had a ex girlfriend from college that had passed away...he was a mess when he found out. My mom couldn't understand why he was crying for a woman he hadn't seen since college...turns out he had seen her many times over the years. They did not have an affair but definitely a friendship. Do to my dad's cheating, he never brought her around my mom bc he was scared that my mom would freak out & he didn't want to lose the friendship. He had the opportunity to be with her if he wanted, years before but he said he loved as a friend, not as a lover. Maybe it's something like that? Doesn't make it right but men sometimes don't think properly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 He actually brought her a gift, she did invite me but he didn't want me to go ? Oh hell no! So he ditched your birthday to go to another woman's baby shower and told you that you couldn't go with him even though you had been invited. On top of that he still goes to strip clubs and collects women's phone numbers? You have got big problems. How long have you been married? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sincerly-KK Posted October 19, 2016 Author Share Posted October 19, 2016 We've been married for ten years Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 We've been married for ten years Me too. So you know he's an idiot. I don't know how to say this, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but ONE DAY he will make you feel so unloved and unwanted that you finally won't care anymore You'll spend all of this time worrying about that day. Then when it actually comes, it will be a HUGE RELIEF and you WON'T feel like crap anymore. You'll just be done and ready to live your life. You won't be waiting on an idiot. I promise. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 He actually brought her a gift, she did invite me but he didn't want me to go ? Why are you sad? You should me MAD AS HELL. If I had a husband doing this to me he'd find the locks on the house changed on his return and his stuff on the front lawn. What's wrong with you that you're not mad and kicking him the in groin right now? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Why are you sad? You should me MAD AS HELL. If I had a husband doing this to me he'd find the locks on the house changed on his return and his stuff on the front lawn. What's wrong with you that you're not mad and kicking him the in groin right now? She doesn't want to lose him, so she just puts up with it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 She doesn't want to lose him, so she just puts up with it. She thinks that he's awesome. And special. Like most of us think about our spouses. And that maybe she deserves it. Or that being without him would be lonely, sad and boring. And she only sees the sad part about dumping him. Because when you feel sad in a lonely relationship like this, sometimes it just clouds out everything else and hurts your heart. So when the betrayal comes, you are already sad, and you just crumple. Because it feels like it's been forever since you last felt happy anyway. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lion Heart Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 ?? so I posted in a previous post about my husband going to his friends babyshower the same day of my birthday I really wasnt that upset until the day came for him to go to the baby shower that I found out that the girl babyshower that he was attending was his ex girlfriend ? Which I had no idea about he told me years ago that they were only good friends, I'm friends with his bestfriend girl friend and she told me that he told his best friend that he use to date the girl that's having the babyshower....when I asked him about it he denied everything and got mad.... This is not the only time that I found things out about him. It's like he is a whole different person when I'm not around him, it feels like when he goes out with his best friend he acts single, as far as getting other woman numbers going to strip clubs staying out till 5:00am, every time me and his best friend girlfriend hangs out she always have a story for me about something that my husband did... I'm so Frustrated with all the lies. First thing I thought of was THIS IS HIS BABY. NO. The first thing was why on earth would a MAN go to a baby shower. Of not even his baby? This the first ever occurrence I've ever heard of Sincerly-KK. My cousin H came for 10 minutes lol they'd been on IVF for 10 years! His twin brother came for the same 10m. A DIFFERENT man? Hell no. Something hugely fishy there! And the fact H didn't WANT you there? HOW FREAKING RUDE. You put up with THIS?? I wouldn't have RUINED MY BIRTHDAY either. H would have SEEN me getting all dolled up for a HUGE GNO...INCLUDING gathering 100 men's numbers....why not? He does. So. You either get into a ridiculous Charade of "what's good for the goose...." Or end this M. The middle line is the charade WHILE you get your ducks in a row to get this p** of a man out of your life. NEVER have sex with him. Unless you want to. And he's wearing a condom. Sorry Sincerly-KK but there are HUGE red flags going on that H is cheating on you. Protect your sexual health. Immediately. Lion Heart 2 Link to post Share on other sites
demrea Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Why are you sad? You should me MAD AS HELL. If I had a husband doing this to me he'd find the locks on the house changed on his return and his stuff on the front lawn. What's wrong with you that you're not mad and kicking him the in groin right now? Perhaps I should refrain from going off topic but I can't help but notice this post had a few thanks too. Why is it ok to promote violence ? Would this board support domestic violence if the sexes were reversed? A poster asking why a cheating wife hasn't been kicked in her genitals for her transgressions would be ok? Even if it was just a figure of speech, we need to end the culture that it's ok to abuse anyone, woman or man, for any reason. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted October 28, 2016 Share Posted October 28, 2016 Besides this baby shower, how much time has he been spending with this "friend" (ex-gf) over the years ? Did you hang out with her as well over your 10 years ? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Hi Sincerely, you have'nt mentioned whether your husband's ex GF is married or is a single mother. If married would her husband be OK with your husband attending his child's baby shower? If single then what the other posters are alluding to may very well be true. He may be the father of that child. Do you have children with your husband? From all that you have written it seems your marriage is a lame duck one and your husband is just using you as an anchor at home for stability while behaving as a singleton when he is out with friends. You seem to have enough material on your husband's aberrant behaviour to act decisively on it. It is up to you to accept or not to accept behaviour which in normal course should have been unacceptable to you. Warm wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
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