Is MM playing a game with me?

[jjackie]

So, in your opinion, he should've dumped me because....?! I guess I'm the lucky one. I am pretty sure there's more women in my situation. My sister cheated on her husband (I know, maybe there is something wrong with my fam, whatever) and filled for divorce THE SAME DAY he found out. Strange? My best friend was cheated on and her fiancee "dumped" her at the same day she found out about his affair. And now they're married with two kids. And he kept his affair quiet for a year! So why are you surprised by him making decision about leaving his wife.

[ladydesigner]

So, in your opinion, he should've dumped me because....?! I guess I'm the lucky one. I am pretty sure there's more women in my situation. My sister cheated on her husband (I know, maybe there is something wrong with my fam, whatever) and filled for divorce THE SAME DAY he found out. Strange? My best friend was cheated on and her fiancee "dumped" her at the same day she found out about his affair. And now they're married with two kids. And he kept his affair quiet for a year! So why are you surprised by him making decision about leaving his wife.

 

I think there are many in your situation. Honestly I think the one's who do work out don't post here very often. There are a few insightful women here who are now M'd to their MM. It does happen.

[jjackie]

^^^^^

 

From someone who was prepared to be the lifetime OW to giving an ultimatum and now he's left and divorcing .... it's kinda like Cinderella ending up with Prince Charming after the ball.

 

After he reassured you there'd be days like that, why the ultimatum. You were on cloud 9 when he came over and told you he didn't want another OW to replace you.

 

You said you weren't jealous of his wife, but all of a sudden you issue an ultimatum.

 

Mr. Man with enough dosh for 10 apartments couldn't use his common sense or his resources to find you once you changed your number back then.

 

Then the comment from your mum about getting over the pain!!

 

At this rate his divorce will be through and you'll be married to him in no time.

 

When you get an offer that seems too good to be true ..... it usually is in my experience.

 

 

I gave him an ultimatum because y'all suggested me to...?! Don't remember? I didn't have it in my plans. But it looks like it was a good decision (for me). Oh wait, you wanted him to DUMP me. Really, sorry for disappointing you guys.... It all starting to be hilarious. For me, the thread is closed. Thanks for your advices, all of them. You helped me to make a decision that turned beneficial to me. Thank you.

[JewelD]

Nah, nah, nah, nah..... Don't twist my words. I didn't say she was happy. I am not gonna tell you exactly how their conversation went but OVERALLY she at least tries to understand his situation. Get it?? Maybe you would kick your son's ass but not every person is the same.

 

 

 

Yup, that's why I said I was in quite shock that she said what she said. But seriously, why are you trying to put words in my mouth I didn't say. "We both TOTALLY love the same guy" - we just love the same guy I guess, totally? Never said that. Honey, YOUR reality isn't MY reality.

 

 

 

Tell me, why, in your opinion, he could not make a decision about getting a divorce??

 

No one's putting words in your mouth, but you are clearly portraying this to be a situation with little to no conflict. If it was so easy, why didn't he do it before?

 

You have said time and time again on this thread that you can't let him go. You even said you were willing to be his mistress. I'm sure he knows just how infatuated you are with him, so why would he leave his wife when he could have the both of you? He might have to be a bit more manipulative, but he's been doing it for awhile, so why would he stop? If a man knows he can play you like a fiddle once, he's going to keep doing it as long as you allow him to.

 

There are rare cases where MM get divorces to be with their AP, but in your case, doesn't seem like he cares about you that much. You already dated him when he was single and he basically ghosted you. He's even dickish for an affair partner, leaving as soon as he's been pleasured and ignoring you for days afterwards. But now he's willing to end his marriage for you?

 

I imagine a man like that would have listened to your ultimatum and called your bluff because he knows he has you right in his pocket. If he told you he was getting a divorce, he is clearly lying.

 

If he chooses to follow through with this fabrication (which I doubt he will do for long, because you're causing a lot of extra stress on him and he just wants on-call sex and someone to not nag him) it will be exactly like your affair. He might take you to his 'apartment', once or twice. But he'll disappear for days, show up for sex, disappear again, you'll ask questions, he'll keep lying, until he finds a new AP that's easier to maintain.

 

and the fact that at no point do you recognize that his behavior towards you is unacceptable. You don't care because you don't want anyone but him. So it seems you are severely lacking in common sense when it comes to men and relationships. Not only would you not be able to convince him to leave his wife, I imagine it will take you a long time to realize that he hasn't done it.

[jjackie]

^^^^^

 

From someone who was prepared to be the lifetime OW to giving an ultimatum and now he's left and divorcing .... it's kinda like Cinderella ending up with Prince Charming after the ball.

 

After he reassured you there'd be days like that, why the ultimatum. You were on cloud 9 when he came over and told you he didn't want another OW to replace you.

 

You said you weren't jealous of his wife, but all of a sudden you issue an ultimatum.

 

Mr. Man with enough dosh for 10 apartments couldn't use his common sense or his resources to find you once you changed your number back then.

 

Then the comment from your mum about getting over the pain!!

 

At this rate his divorce will be through and you'll be married to him in no time.

 

When you get an offer that seems too good to be true ..... it usually is in my experience.

 

It was a sarcasm about him getting 10 appartments, Jesus.

What the heck is wrong with my mum's comment!!!

And honestly, I never mentioned anything about getting married. Maybe we will be together, maybe we won't! If you asked me, you'd knew I don't want to get married, ever. WHY YOU GUYS TWIST MY WORDS???

[jjackie]

I'm done. Good night.

[Hummingbird17]

I think this is one of those situations that you are damned if you do and damned if you don't on here.

 

I will say from someone has been through it, be careful. It won't be easy in the beginning no matter what. And not all relationships last once they leave. Mine has and we are really happy, there are no trust issues and it's just like any other relationship. We still have lots of fun together but there are the normal every day issues you have with anyone you have a long term relationship with. You won't always feel for him what you are feeling now. But if it lasts it gets deeper and better and there are still lots of times you do feel like you first felt.

 

Good luck.