muggins Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 So, I've been seeing this girl for around 4 months shes 40 and I'm 30 we met at work. All seemed to be going really well, we were even making plans for the weekend and Halloween. She even asked me if I wanted to move in last week..... Then boom, yesterday I get an essay of a break up text. She said she's ending it for me and that she's messed up and wants me to be with someone younger and get married and have kids. I have told her I want her!!!!! She also messaged me earlier today on work messager saying she was sad and feels like she has lost her best friend. I'm so confused. How can things go from making future plans and wanting me to move in to wanting to end things in a matter of days? Link to post Share on other sites
bettermistakes Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 I don't really have any words of wisdom for you, but I feel your pain. I'm going through a similar situation. My BF of three months just broke things off earlier this week. Everything was great - as far as I knew - and he had even bought a larger vehicle two weeks ago that seats us plus all of our kids. The only reason I've gotten is that he's emotionally overwhelmed and not emotionally ready to be in a relationship. Anyway, I'm sorry - it's baffling, isn't it? From what folks on here say, though, it seems it's also pretty common. :/ I hope your situation is fully resolved soon one way or the other so you can move on to whatever is next. Link to post Share on other sites
Author muggins Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 Sorry to hear that. I'm just absolutely baffled by it. She even got worried less than a week ago the I was bored of here and wanted to break up with her. I'm so confused. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 just send her a dozen red roses and everything will be ok Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 She's probably been talking to her friends who told her you would probably end up leaving her for someone younger because you will want kids one day. She's just insecure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 She's probably been talking to her friends who told her you would probably end up leaving her for someone younger because you will want kids one day. She's just insecure. they're all sisters Link to post Share on other sites
Author muggins Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 Maybe. I'm just so sad right now. I had to leave my desk earlier when she was messaging me and when I got back she had sent me 4 messages and started accusing me of ignoring her. What the hell! Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 I simply don't get why folks dip their pen in company ink. What a nightmare to have a relationship end and still have to work with them. Yuk.. Who knows what her true motivation is. I'd probably meet up with her and have a frank conversation. She may just be insecure that you will leave her and is doing these bs to chase her and assuage her insecurities. Pin her down and if this is the case, sooth her fragile ego and see if you can continue on. It is however a major red flag that she's acting like a 13 year old in how she's handling this. The other option is 4 months is a typical time when folks do a gut check to see if they want to continue on in a relationship. Maybe she isn't feeling it and thinks it's best to end it right now. Only your conversation with her will answer those questions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author muggins Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 I get that it may be a gut check and I'll be ok with that in time. I just don't get how she was so into me last week, asking me to move in with her and calling me up when She didn't hear from me because she was worried about me to breaking up with me out of nowhere. I've never been so confused. Link to post Share on other sites
jjackie Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Maybe. I'm just so sad right now. I had to leave my desk earlier when she was messaging me and when I got back she had sent me 4 messages and started accusing me of ignoring her. What the hell! She's just got issues, she's probably worried that you'll leave her eventually, for someone younger. She just wanted to prevent it by breaking up but that's clearly not what she wants. Just talk to her and try to reassure her. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 I'm sorry:( did she explain why? I hope you guys can work It out. Link to post Share on other sites
jjackie Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 I simply don't get why folks dip their pen in company ink. What a nightmare to have a relationship end and still have to work with them. Yuk.. It happened to me, it happened to a lot of people that I know - it's not so difficult to go through it because you care more about your job than him/her. And not all the time the breakup is harsh. Work place is a usual place when people meet their partner, ultimately, we spend there almost half of our lives. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 I get that it may be a gut check and I'll be ok with that in time. I just don't get how she was so into me last week, asking me to move in with her and calling me up when She didn't hear from me because she was worried about me to breaking up with me out of nowhere. I've never been so confused. This my friend is a blinking, flashing, yelling red flag. That's NOT normal behavior for anyone to do. That's why you're so confused. It could speak to her having some emotional or mental health issues like a personality disorder. I'm not saying she does but it's VERY odd indeed. I'd proceed cautiously with your eyes WIDE OPEN. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Nothing ever happens all of the sudden trust me on that. If I had to bet I would say someone else has entered the picture. You don't go from I want you to move in to I don't want to date for no reason. I would be really careful going forward. And acting like that at her age is a HUGE red flag. Link to post Share on other sites
Stercrazy Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 It's definitely a test......which is so unnecessary. She is most likely insecure and is looking for reassurement. Your probably going to have to process this with her. I hate game playing but it sure sounds like it. What is important is that she is giving you the opportunity to re-evaluate the relationship. Instead of impulsively going back to her I would take some time for assessment. Link to post Share on other sites
LastAcorn99 Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 I’m sorry about your breakup. I hope you and your girlfriend get to sit down and talk over what caused this sudden change to happen. Take care! Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 I echo a lot of the sentiments expressed so far. Her comment about kids has me interested. Do you want kids one day? Link to post Share on other sites
Author muggins Posted October 21, 2016 Author Share Posted October 21, 2016 I said maybe one day and I think that's about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author muggins Posted October 21, 2016 Author Share Posted October 21, 2016 Pfft. She messaged me at the end of work. Saying, have a good weekend. I'm feeling lousy so will probably have a lousy weekend. I'll text you as soon as I get my phone sorted. Your awesome I mean that. Xx what the f!?!? Link to post Share on other sites
Author muggins Posted October 21, 2016 Author Share Posted October 21, 2016 Holy crap! She has just send me ten texts in 7 minutes! Feeling heartbroken, wish I was younger, had a great time with you, hope you meet someone younger and have kids, you probably hate me but I will always love you! Ffs! I'm even more confused. Link to post Share on other sites
SoThatHappened Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 Run. (10 characters) 3 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 Holy crap! She has just send me ten texts in 7 minutes! Feeling heartbroken, wish I was younger, had a great time with you, hope you meet someone younger and have kids, you probably hate me but I will always love you! Ffs! I'm even more confused. WTF is she's NOT hitting on 8 cylinders. Holy smokes.. If there was EEVVEERR a time to change your phone number and vanish from someone's life... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey born raised Posted October 21, 2016 Share Posted October 21, 2016 Yea I get the ten years older is a big deal for her. Decades are an easy way to review our lived and they always reveal large unnoticed changes. She is looking into the future and seeing reality. Breaking up with you is the rational choice for her. I have known several couples where the age difference hit home and caused divorced with the younger husband taking up with a younger woman than them. As to her present behavior, she actually means what she says about loving you i.e. The heart wants what the heart wants. Thousand to one odds if you show up at her place say the right words you will not leave her bed for a week. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Well, do you want to have kids someday? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I don't get why ppl make such a huge deal about someone sending x number of texts unless it's s lot of content. Her 10 texts put together isn't even as long as 1/2 of op's op. She just broke her thoughts into several short lines. Excuse her for not being able to express her feelings over a breakup in terse, 5 word text. Link to post Share on other sites
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