Has any other female here been rejected a lot? I'm starting to feel bitter

[spiderowl]

Dating is not easy. We meet people and sometimes it just doesn't work out. I think you put too much pressure on yourself to be something you are not. I know what the books say - I've read them too. I think real connections tend to happen when a guy gets to know you, your real self, your hopes and dreams, your fears and worries, your sadnesses. I know this is not what the dating books say but amazingly it is understandable and makes you a person not a 'model'. Doing the fun, positive, not-put-a-foot-wrong things probably does not come across as real. The guy may have nothing he can pinpoint where he feels you two can connect as human beings not perfect people. He knows he is not perfect and has insecurities that he is trying to keep hidden. Despite appearances, people do seek real connections, someone they can trust with their feelings and heart. Perhaps you are not giving guys a chance to connect.

[Fishfingersareyummy]

 

Not a double standard at all. Your advice is not to have sex and to enjoy your sexuality even if a man has, because as soon as you do, you won't get a serious boyfriend. Even if you ( which you have admitted Sir) have been sexually free in the past.

 

Yuck. I hate these sexist double standards. Do not listen to this advice.

 

It is a double standard but then it's just one double standard of many in the dating game. Also it's not always a double standard with all men. I am a religious man and I don't engage in casual sex and while I have no issues with women having casual sex I will never knowingly enter a relationship with a woman that has casual sex. We have two different belief systems in regards to sex and that renders me and the woman incompatible in what is a very important aspect of any relationship.

 

Women have to accept that many men like me who do not engage in casual sex do not want relationships with women who have or do. That's why it's better if women who do engage in casual sex and rack up numerous partners find like minded men who don't have the double standard.

[Dark Horse]

I'm like you, i'm a 21 year old male who's never had a girlfriend before, never had sex, never even kissed a girl. I get super depressed sometimes about it, like why me? It hurts to feel rejected, it hurts to not be wanted, you feel bad and you feel like a loser because you're not good with dating at all.

 

So I know where you're coming from, when all of your friends are getting into relationships and having sex like it's nothing and you struggle to even find anybody. That's hard.

 

I try to dress nice, I try to look good, but it isn't enough. :'(

[Moves Like Jagger]

I have completely no idea what the OP looks like. The OP refused to rate herself because looks are "subjective". I'm sorry, but a woman who is a 9 is generally going to date different kinds of guys than women who are only a 6.

 

Yes, looks do matter. Hate to say it, but guys are actually more rigid about looks than girls are. Having a wonderful, charming personality doesn't mean anything if he doesn't find you physically attractive.

 

Without knowing your looks, personality, and how you are interact with other people, we can only speculate what's going on.

[Shining One]

I'm going to take a different approach and say you haven't been rejected enough. I say this because you're clearly not desensitized to it. Once you've experienced a sufficient amount of rejection, it no longer bothers you. I was once rejected 15 times in one night! I took home number 16 though.

[Fishfingersareyummy]

I'm going to take a different approach and say you haven't been rejected enough. I say this because you're clearly not desensitized to it. Once you've experienced a sufficient amount of rejection, it no longer bothers you. I was once rejected 15 times in one night! I took home number 16 though.

 

I don't agree with that. I have been rejected over a hundred times and each time it hurts and it leaves me feeling dejected. Some people may become desensitized to rejection but I certainly have not.

[darkmoon]

do your boyfs always pay for dates? is that it? must be some pattern

[Dark Horse]

I'm not a girl but yes iv'e been rejected a lot. I'm sorry it has to happen to you as well, like it definitely hurts to feel ignored.

 

I don't know if you feel the same way as I do but I want more than just sex, I want to be in a committed relationship. Sometimes I dream about it, just knowing what it's like to be loved in return. It's something in life I have yet to experience.

 

I hope that you do find your special guy. But you should find somebody whom you're compatible with and has similar interests to yours.

 

OP I don't know if you do this but have you ever considered approaching men? Because there's a lot of shy guys out there that you would never know how awesome they were but since they never approach, nobody ever gets to see it. It always makes my day when a girl comes up and talks to me, always makes me feel better and this is coming from a shy guy.

[JelatineDessert]

I have completely no idea what the OP looks like. The OP refused to rate herself because looks are "subjective". I'm sorry, but a woman who is a 9 is generally going to date different kinds of guys than women who are only a 6.

 

Yes, looks do matter. Hate to say it, but guys are actually more rigid about looks than girls are. Having a wonderful, charming personality doesn't mean anything if he doesn't find you physically attractive.

 

Without knowing your looks, personality, and how you are interact with other people, we can only speculate what's going on.

 

Well, of course I can't rate myself as looks ARE subjective. i consider myself a 7, like I mentioned in a previous post. I am not saying 8 because I don't know what people consider to be 8's, so I'm just gonna say 7 or 7.5.

[JelatineDessert]

do your boyfs always pay for dates? is that it? must be some pattern

 

No, I don't let them always pay. First date is different, as men typically dont let the girl pay, but after that, I always offer and contribute

[thecrucible]

OP, I know you feel. I only started getting lots more attention when I lost weight and was about at 20% body fat; and wore lots of make-up on nights out as well as sexier outfits. Sometimes changing helps you stand out a bit. But hey even though I got approached when I was slimmer it didn't translate into me getting a boyfriend and I think that was partly the vibe I was giving off where I couldn't forge a real connection with a guy. I may have been confident in my appearance but not in other ways.

 

Also based on what's been said above, I know for a fact that you can't always rely on men to approach you. I mean I've had relationships from being approached but I've also dated men who were interested in me but didn't approach me and it was only when I started talking to them for some reason that I realised they were interested in me. I think a lot of guys like women who come across confidently because they like to feel like a stud. I think when you're flirting you have to put it on a bit and it is kind of like a game. You might act in ways you might not normally act and it might feel a little unnatural but then subtlety isn't enough.

[JelatineDessert]

 

I think when you're flirting you have to put it on a bit and it is kind of like a game. You might act in ways you might not normally act and it might feel a little unnatural but then subtlety isn't enough.

 

Hey girl! I think that's awesome that you worked hard to drop all that weight.

And you're right, confidence and flirting are definitely factors, however, I do flirt with guys and express interest to them through my body language and non-verbal communication for sure. Or I'll slip suggestive language in there that I am receptive to his moves.

I don't know anymore honestly...maybe it's just that I havent met guys that are for me

[hotpotato]

I can relate. I think i have adhd and or aspergers. Im very similar to some of the stories ive read abt people with adhd.

 

I hate dating, and i hate struggling. I want to have it easy like other women. I can get a relationship every couple of years then i get dumped.

 

Hugs for the op.