riane26 Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 Hi this is my first thread. Here is my story. I am not going to go into much detail) I live in England and my boyfriend is from Central America. I am a single 26 year old and i have a 6 year old daughter, he is 28 and has no children. We met in may on an language exchange app, we have talked everyday since then, in August i decided to go and visit him in his country and it was great (when we met, that is when he asked me to be his girl) he is due to come and visit me in London in less than 2 weeks..and we were planning on meeting up in febuary next year but i think i have to reschedule due to lack of finaces, I know my boyfriend loves me and i love him, but today he said to me that he wants to start a family with me but he does not know if it can become a reality and that sometimes he gets a bit discouraged..He wants to move to England to be with me and live as a normal couple but England is such a hard country to migrate to, and i do not know what we are going to do, i can not move to where he is because my daughters dad will not let me move country. (he sees her every weekend) i am positive and i know that one day we will find a way toget my boyfriend over here with me.. i am just scared that he might loose hope Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 It sounds like he is being realistic. He knows migrating isn't easy, even though he may want very much to do so. Can you speak with an immigration lawyer or consultant? I think it would be wise to know exactly what you are up against, and what the prospects are. I would do so before becoming more invested in the relationship. Your hearts might be in the right place, but the logistics could be very limiting. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted October 22, 2016 Share Posted October 22, 2016 I think it is reasonable for him to want to be with someone he can see, touch and do things with. You should also want those things for yourself. If it's not possible for either one of you to move to the others country then it might be be best for both of you to let this romance go. Of course it will hurt for a bit but you will recover and find happiness with someone else one day. Sometimes you just have to be realistic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chris516 Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Hi this is my first thread. Here is my story. I am not going to go into much detail) I live in England and my boyfriend is from Central America. I am a single 26 year old and i have a 6 year old daughter, he is 28 and has no children. We met in may on an language exchange app, we have talked everyday since then, in August i decided to go and visit him in his country and it was great (when we met, that is when he asked me to be his girl) he is due to come and visit me in London in less than 2 weeks..and we were planning on meeting up in February next year but i think i have to reschedule due to lack of finances, I know my boyfriend loves me and i love him, but today he said to me that he wants to start a family with me but he does not know if it can become a reality and that sometimes he gets a bit discouraged..He wants to move to England to be with me and live as a normal couple but England is such a hard country to migrate to, and i do not know what we are going to do, i can not move to where he is because my daughters dad will not let me move country. (he sees her every weekend) i am positive and i know that one day we will find a way toget my boyfriend over here with me.. i am just scared that he might loose hope������ First, I am glad your daughter's father will not let you move out of the country. I am glad that he has weekly visits. I am from the U.S.. When I was 9yrs.-old(1976), my mother had custody of my younger brother n' I. When she moved my younger brother n' I to England. I never wanted to move there. It was bad enough when my father lived 100s' of miles from where we lived in the U.S.. But now(then), my father lived 1,000s of miles away. The father always loses. Since 9/11, then the terrorism attacks in London, immigration has become much tougher, 'on both sides of the pond'. I was thinking of immigrating to Canada at one point. But the Canadian government has made it a lot harder to immigrate, unless you are escaping a war-torn nation. You didn't say what country in Central America he is from. So, I can only assume, he is originally from a country where drugs are the cash crop. If that is the case. I can sort of see why immigrating to the UK would be a problem. Even with him having no involvement in drugs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Sorry but it's not looking good, and I agree with the others, your BF is being realistic. Your emotions are clouding your better judgement, and you have been avoiding the reality since the beginning. These are the things you should have thought about before getting involved. LDR's are a serious and risky thing. I doubt he is going to wait the possible 5 years and spend the amount of money it's going to take hiring a lawyer, etc. Time to get your head out the clouds. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted October 23, 2016 Share Posted October 23, 2016 Well, he already knew about immigration problems before asking you to be his girlfriend. So... what does this mean? I feel this is his way to subtly pressure you into marrying him to ease the process... But look at this: https://www.gov.uk/becoming-a-british-citizen/if-your-spouse-is-a-british-citizen He needs to live in the UK for 3 years anyway, to be able to stay there. You need to be assisted to see how to go about it. But before anything, please make sure this is not just a scheme, that really started when he decided to learn or improve his English, which is getting into the UK. Though I'm not sure who would want to get in there right now... Link to post Share on other sites
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