Do you think he's interested in me?

[Meg]

My Hungarian girlfriend gave my phone number to this male friend of hers from Hungary who was interested in applying for the college I went to. We met about a month ago for coffee and I told him about the program and everthing involved in it and then we talked about ourselves. He asked me questions about how he could get to know North American women because he found them distant and hard to approach without giving them the wrong idea.

 

I gave him some advice on how not to act too macho and stuff. After, he said he'd call me and we left it at that.

 

A few days ago I bumped into him jogging around a big park. He stopped and we walked together and sat down on a bench to chat. He sat really close to me and I felt aroused just talking to him. Then when we got up to walk some more, he held my hands to sheild me from some guys biking in the opposite direction. This turned me on again.

 

He told me he had been in a bad situation just less than a year ago because his wife had left him and he was lonely.

 

I told him I could be his friend if he needed someone to talk to then he asked what I was doing over the weekend. I said we would call each other and maybe do something. He didn't call and neither did I because I didn't want to seem obvious that I liked him.

 

Does it seem that he likes me, or could he just be a very physical person? How can you tell the difference?

[Tony T]

He is from a different culture so don't even try to understand him using American precepts. It's very likely that he is indeed lonely, just like you said.

 

It could be that he got to thinking and doesn't want you do things with him just because you feel sorry that he's lonely. He may have been waiting for you to call...because in his mind that would confirm that you really wanted to do something with him. Could be a very sensitive guy. He could also be a bit shy.

 

There's also a possibility that you may have stirred some memories of his ex and he was down and a bit depressed...too much so to do anything this weekend. He may be very attracted to you and, having more consideration than most, doesn't want to suck you in to some rebound situation.

 

There could be so many things. Don't read anything into his not calling. There are a million possible reasons. So give him a call. Ask him to do something fun...ask him what he enjoys. Or just ask him what he'd like to do. But take this very slow.

 

I promise you, this loneliness stems from the fact that he's not over his ex yet. Don't get yourself hurt here. Just be his friend until you see signs that you should move more forward.

 

Understand that while you were aroused by his actions, they were very normal for many guys from Europe who would consider those things to be gentlemanlike...stuff you don't see much of in the United States anymore.