Inter-racial Dating

[jen1447]

I would add, that there are many people that still think of interracial dating as a sexual 'fetish', or just a 'phase'. I've actually heard people make comments like, "these relationships are only about the sex, and can't possibly involve 'LOVE', or be lasting relationships."

 

To be fair, when it's driven by curiosity or fascination, it is more a sexual impulse than a nesting exercise. I've gone thru these phases myself and it's never about the lovey-dovey, at least initially.

 

Opposites are often seen as novelty items (think the stereotypical black man's desire for blonde haired white women), and that's not necessarily some shameful impulse in itself. ppl are generally curious - nothing wrong w that IMO.

[S_A]

S_A, I think you're judging the whole country based on your personal observations out west.

 

On the East Coast, white women/ black guys are by far the most common interracial couple. Jen seems to have observed the same in the Chicago area.

 

Maryland is about 58% white, 30% black and 8% Hispanic. There are just not many people of hispanic ethnicity around here, regardless of what race you want to consider them. Many big east coast cities like DC, Baltimore, Philly have significantly smaller Hispanic populations than LA. The exception to this would be NYC, but even when I'm there I see white/black couples as the most prevalent mix.

 

Being married to a black guy, I've gotten quite a few comments over the years from white women who say they're attracted to black men but felt that they couldn't seriously date or marry black guys due to family pressure. So I think this mix would be even more common if it weren't for the stigma often associated with it.

 

I think I acknowledged that in most areas of the U.S., there would be more white women with black men than there would be white men with Hispanic women. But I also went on to say that on the balance (as an aggregate), in the U.S.A., WW/BM don't come anywhere near WM/HW. I just did a google search just to sort of get a feeler, but according to something published by the United States Census Bureau, White & Hispanic marriages made up 37.6% of all interracial households as of 2014. White & black marriages made up only 7.9%. Now obviously these numbers were not broken down by the bureau to show what the concentrations are for WW/BM and WM/HW, but even if you estimated WM/HW to be half of the 37.6% (which would be a VERY conservative estimate), the aggregate of White and Black marriages (7.9%) still does not come close to WM/HW.

 

Also keep in mind that Maryland's population is 6 million. Los Angeles County by itself has a population of 10 million (LA County includes "the valley," or Northern LA, which is the part of LA where people like me like to say "dude" lol). So what you see in your state is a relatively small sample size, especially given Maryland's lack of diversity.

 

The other thing I'd say is that white people on the west coast, in a number of areas, can be very scarce. Here in Los Angeles, if you're white, you're a minority. That does make the white guy more of a novelty and thus, more desirable. In a lot of areas of the East Coast, the Midwest, and the South, when you go outside you probably see nothing but white people (this does not sound fun when I think about it lol). When I go outside I see everything but white. Obviously there are pockets in LA County where there are high concentrations of whites, but in general, I see everything but white people (I think this is a testament to how diverse LA is).

 

Personally, if I lived in an area where you or Jen lived I'd probably have less of an interest in white girls myself.

[stillafool]

You are correct S A. That was what I experienced while living in L.A. as well but now that I am back in VA the only interracial couples I see are black and white with the majority being BM/WW. L.A. is like it's own country.

[S_A]

You are correct S A. That was what I experienced while living in L.A. as well but now that I am back in VA the only interracial couples I see are black and white with the majority being BM/WW. L.A. is like it's own country.

 

Yea but the statistics provided for the Bureau were for the whole country.

[Madame_Noire]

Interesting post by the way...

 

I am a black woman with a white man. I have always been attracted to white men when I was in my teens but because of the area I grew up in, it was predominently populated by black males. I thought I would have a cat in hells chance of finding a white guy that that would be into black women. Thank goodness for online dating and social media. :love:

 

I am by no means saying that men of my own race and others are not attractive. You like/prefer what you prefer.

 

One trend I have noticed about WM/BW pairings is quite of few of the BW wear long weaves... not sure why that is. I however, rock my natural hair/afro with pride! My man also does not go on like he is 'black' either, he is very humble, quiet, geeky and mild-mannered. I have often said he does not look the sort that would be with or attracted to a black woman.

[SammySammy]

In the end, there's only one race - the human race. We obviously can and will love each other ... if given a chance.

Edited October 27, 2016 by MidKnightDreams

[Quiet Storm]

I think I acknowledged that in most areas of the U.S., there would be more white women with black men than there would be white men with Hispanic women. But I also went on to say that on the balance (as an aggregate), in the U.S.A., WW/BM don't come anywhere near WM/HW. I just did a google search just to sort of get a feeler, but according to something published by the United States Census Bureau, White & Hispanic marriages made up 37.6% of all interracial households as of 2014. White & black marriages made up only 7.9%. Now obviously these numbers were not broken down by the bureau to show what the concentrations are for WW/BM and WM/HW, but even if you estimated WM/HW to be half of the 37.6% (which would be a VERY conservative estimate), the aggregate of White and Black marriages (7.9%) still does not come close to WM/HW.

 

Also keep in mind that Maryland's population is 6 million. Los Angeles County by itself has a population of 10 million (LA County includes "the valley," or Northern LA, which is the part of LA where people like me like to say "dude" lol). So what you see in your state is a relatively small sample size, especially given Maryland's lack of diversity.

 

The other thing I'd say is that white people on the west coast, in a number of areas, can be very scarce. Here in Los Angeles, if you're white, you're a minority. That does make the white guy more of a novelty and thus, more desirable. In a lot of areas of the East Coast, the Midwest, and the South, when you go outside you probably see nothing but white people (this does not sound fun when I think about it lol). When I go outside I see everything but white. Obviously there are pockets in LA County where there are high concentrations of whites, but in general, I see everything but white people (I think this is a testament to how diverse LA is).

 

Personally, if I lived in an area where you or Jen lived I'd probably have less of an interest in white girls myself.

 

My observations aren't based on a small sample size at all. Maybe living in vast California it's hard to understand. I may live in little Maryland, but it's part of the "Northeast Megalopolis", the most densely populated area in America, with over 50 million people living along 400 miles of the I95 corridor (Northern VA, DC, Baltimore, Philly, NJ, NYC, Boston). 17% of this country's population living on only 2% of this country's land area. I can easily travel to various major cities within a few hours, DC in 45 minutes, Philly in 2 hours, NYC in 3.5 hours. So that is what my observations are based on. And I definitely don't live around all white people.

 

Also, I thought we were discussing interracial dating, but your stats are based on marriages. It makes perfect sense that there are more black/ white couples but less black/ white marriages. Unfortunately there is more of a social stigma with black/ white couples and many don't end up married. Hispanic/ white is more socially acceptable, which naturally would result in more marriages.

 

.

Edited October 27, 2016 by Quiet Storm

[S_A]

My observations aren't based on a small sample size at all. Maybe living in vast California it's hard to understand. I may live in little Maryland, but it's part of the "Northeast Megalopolis", the most densely populated area in America, with over 50 million people living along 400 miles of the I95 corridor (Northern VA, DC, Baltimore, Philly, NJ, NYC, Boston). 17% of this country's population living on only 2% of this country's land area. I can easily travel to various major cities within a few hours, DC in 45 minutes, Philly in 2 hours, NYC in 3.5 hours. So that is what my observations are based on. And I definitely don't live around all white people.

 

I definitely don't doubt any of that. And I am sure that you have seen what you say you have seen with regard to WW/BM relationships.

 

Also, I thought we were discussing interracial dating, but your stats are based on marriages. It makes perfect sense that there are more black/ white couples but less black/ white marriages. Unfortunately there is more of a social stigma with black/ white couples and many don't end up married. Hispanic/ white is more socially acceptable, which naturally would result in more marriages.

 

I believe that the spread between WM/HW and WW/BM pairings should be even larger if we include boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. Keep in mind that a lot of Latino parents don't always approve of their daughters hooking up with white guys either. We often think of this approval stuff as coming from the white side only.

 

I'd actually say that non-American parents are far more likely to use race or ethnicity as one of the reasons for not approving of a marriage. My non-American white parents would try to discourage me from marrying even a white American (this is the case even though they love the U.S.A.).

[SammySammy]

The Loving Legacy: Mixed-race couples tell their stories

Most Americans have never heard of Mildred and Richard Loving. But next week, a Hollywood movie will introduce the country to a time and place — 58 years ago in Virginia — when a sheriff could burst into a couple’s bedroom and arrest them for being married.

 

“Loving,” which opens in theaters Nov. 4, tells the story of Mildred and Richard, young romantics who became felons when they dared to wed in 1958. She was black, he was white, and that was a crime in Virginia and 23 other states. They were arrested, convicted and banished from their home state. But their legal fight led to the 1967 landmark Supreme Court ruling in the 16 states where they were still on the books.

 

The pair returned to Virginia and, slowly,

Virginia began to look more like them

. Black hands joined with white hands at altars from Hampton Roads to Herndon as the state that once served as the capital of the Confederacy grew more populous, more diverse and more tolerant. By 2010, Virginia led the nation in the rate of black-white marriages, according to the Pew Research Center. And while racism hasn’t disappeared, the state’s marital melting pot now includes people from all over the world. Few heads turn at the sight of a Venezuelan-Indian couple or a Korean bride with her white groom or, since same-sex marriage became legal two years ago, lesbians of different colors exchanging vows.

 

Today, Virginia is for Lovings, as these portraits of five mixed-race marriages show.

[stillafool]

This movie and the documentary were done some time ago. As usual there will be remakes.

[kmack513]

The Loving Legacy: Mixed-race couples tell their stories

Most Americans have never heard of Mildred and Richard Loving. But next week, a Hollywood movie will introduce the country to a time and place — 58 years ago in Virginia — when a sheriff could burst into a couple’s bedroom and arrest them for being married.

 

“Loving,” which opens in theaters Nov. 4, tells the story of Mildred and Richard, young romantics who became felons when they dared to wed in 1958. She was black, he was white, and that was a crime in Virginia and 23 other states. They were arrested, convicted and banished from their home state. But their legal fight led to the 1967 landmark Supreme Court ruling in the 16 states where they were still on the books.

 

The pair returned to Virginia and, slowly,

Virginia began to look more like them

. Black hands joined with white hands at altars from Hampton Roads to Herndon as the state that once served as the capital of the Confederacy grew more populous, more diverse and more tolerant. By 2010, Virginia led the nation in the rate of black-white marriages, according to the Pew Research Center. And while racism hasn’t disappeared, the state’s marital melting pot now includes people from all over the world. Few heads turn at the sight of a Venezuelan-Indian couple or a Korean bride with her white groom or, since same-sex marriage became legal two years ago, lesbians of different colors exchanging vows.

 

Today, Virginia is for Lovings, as these portraits of five mixed-race marriages show.

Loving Movie Review & Film Summary (2016) | Roger Ebert

[SoulCat]

I would add, that there are many people that still think of interracial dating as a sexual 'fetish', or just a 'phase'. I've actually heard people make comments like, "these relationships are only about the sex, and can't possibly involve 'LOVE', or be lasting relationships."

 

This made me laugh.

I (wf) was married to a white guy. Post divorce I started dating a black man.

I was asked if this was some sort of post-divorce 'funny' phase I was going through.

 

Uhm no. My new man happens to be a fantastic guy who I am crazy about.

He also happens to be black.

 

ETA: My 'phase' and I have been very happily together for nearly 4 years now....

Edited October 28, 2016 by SoulCat

[surferchic]

Easy for white men, not so much for men of color.

 

Hey Jay. Can you explain what you mean by that?