Anyone else The Girl Everyone Has a Crush On?

[august14]

I don't mean literally EVERYONE has a crush on me, but I know several people (some of whom are friends with each other) have had a crush on me for sometime and I'm not sure how to feel about this.

 

Questions:

1. What do guys generally want from the girl everyone has a crush on? Just someone to look at? Someone to flirt with? Someone to actually have a relationship with?

2. Is there any way for you to go out with someone without a handful of people suddenly knowing all about it?

[JewelD]

Well pin a rose on your nose.

 

I'd like to point out there's a difference between wanting to bone and genuinely liking a person.

 

Are you in high school? If not, I doubt anyone cares enough to have long conversations about your dating life.

[august14]

Well pin a rose on your nose.

 

I'd like to point out there's a difference between wanting to bone and genuinely liking a person.

 

Are you in high school? If not, I doubt anyone cares enough to have long conversations about your dating life.

 

Well that was rude. Are YOU in high school?

 

We're on a dating website. Having long conversations about our dating lives is all we do.

[JewelD]

Well that was rude. Are YOU in high school?

 

We're on a dating website. Having long conversations about our dating lives is all we do.

 

No, I legit was asking because there are high schoolers who post on this site and I thought you might be one. I would give them different advice than I would an adult.

 

And this is a dating advice site. We're not shooting the breeze about people's relationship for the hell of it. Basically the point I was making is that I doubt anyone cares enough to be discussing who you went out with like you're Kim K or something. Most people tend to focus on themselves and their own problems.

 

And there is a difference between men who want to sleep with you and men who genuinely like you. That would determine what these men who have 'crushes' on you actually want from you.

[Imajerk17]

I agree w JewelD. This is such a bizarre question for anyone past the age of (say) 18 to be asking. From this (and your other) threads OP, you seem to be putting an awful lot of energy towards how others see you. Most people outgrow this by say 20.

 

To answer your specific question, A) how are we supposed to know, guys don't have a hive mind, we're all individuals, and B) why so focused on what random others think of you.

Edited October 23, 2016 by Imajerk17

[august14]

I agree w JewelD. This is such a bizarre question for anyone past the age of (say) 18 to be asking. From this (and your other) threads august, you seem to be putting an awful lot of energy towards how others see you. Most people outgrow this by say 20.

 

No, most people don't. For most people, the brain doesn't finish developing until about age 25 and people aged 18-24 are generally grouped together because they have the mindset and are still in the same stages of their lives. Further, it is well-documented that millennials are adulting slower that the previous generations and have a tendency to act and behave like teenagers and younger people. Not only is your claim that "most people" stop caring about how they are perceived by others by say 20, but your claim shows an unawareness of what the general population is truly like and, worse, is designed to make another person feel bad about him/herself. That is just not nice.

 

I don't think anyone know what any specific individual thinks, but a group of people living in a certain place at a certain time is likely to have similar thoughts about a certain subject. I'm interested in knowing what these thoughts are.

[ChickiePops]

My thoughts are that if you deflate your ego a bit then some of these guys might actually ask you out instead of just having a crush on you.

 

And if you don't want people to know when you're going out then don't post about it on social media.

[Imajerk17]

No, most people don't. For most people, the brain doesn't finish developing until about age 25 and people aged 18-24 are generally grouped together because they have the mindset and are still in the same stages of their lives. Further, it is well-documented that millennials are adulting slower that the previous generations and have a tendency to act and behave like teenagers and younger people. Not only is your claim that "most people" stop caring about how they are perceived by others by say 20, but your claim shows an unawareness of what the general population is truly like and, worse, is designed to make another person feel bad about him/herself. That is just not nice.

 

I don't think anyone know what any specific individual thinks, but a group of people living in a certain place at a certain time is likely to have similar thoughts about a certain subject. I'm interested in knowing what these thoughts are.

I'm sorry to break this to you OP, but I have two younger cousins in their early 20s, and I could just not imagine them asking a question such as this. Maybe when they were in high school perhaps (or maybe not), but not now. They are both too busy w their lives AND w their significant others (one is a young man the other a young woman, BOTH get plenty of interest from the opposite gender).

 

And I think most people still think a lot differently at 24 than they did at 18. But if you still insist upon grouping 24 w 18 as if they are about the same, then your question opening this thread is still bizarre for even an 18-year-old.

 

Getting back on topic, your question as to why is unanswerable anyway. Relevant information not included is how you know these guys, their personalities, your personality, what made you you draw the conclusion they are so into you, ect.

Edited October 24, 2016 by Imajerk17

[Osmium13]

I don't mean literally EVERYONE has a crush on me, but I know several people (some of whom are friends with each other) have had a crush on me for sometime and I'm not sure how to feel about this.

 

Questions:

1. What do guys generally want from the girl everyone has a crush on? Just someone to look at? Someone to flirt with? Someone to actually have a relationship with?

2. Is there any way for you to go out with someone without a handful of people suddenly knowing all about it?

 

 

There's some harsh comments on here! I can't see anything wrong with an analytical approach rather than an emotional one.

 

Reading between the lines, I think you're wondering if one or more of these guys within a group are genuinely interested, or if they're trying to get one up on their friend(s), so to speak. I think you'd need to get them on their own to work that out - it'd be relatively easy to establish if you talk to him/them and observe the body language.

 

Your second question depends on the individual. Is he the type that runs to his mates and tells them everything? Is he a boaster? Or does he keep his relationships to himself? Again, talking to someone - perhaps dropping in uninteresting gossip that you'd know came from him if it spread around - is a good way of figuring it out.

 

I have a few friends that I mess about with, engage in "banter", but I'd never go into details about my relationships that I didn't want known! On the other hand, one of our group takes great pleasure in blabbing every sordid detail (though some of it is probably poetic licence) of his encounters.

[GunslingerRoland]

I'm not really sure you ever answered what age group you are in, as it may help. But I think for me, when I was young and I used to have crushes it was very superficial.

 

But if you are talking about guys who know you well and are enamored with you, you probably have a very engaging personality (along with looks) that is drawing them in, and yeah they probably want to date you.

[Gloria25]

There's some harsh comments on here! I can't see anything wrong with an analytical approach rather than an emotional one.

 

Reading between the lines, I think you're wondering if one or more of these guys within a group are genuinely interested, or if they're trying to get one up on their friend(s), so to speak. I think you'd need to get them on their own to work that out - it'd be relatively easy to establish if you talk to him/them and observe the body language.

 

Your second question depends on the individual. Is he the type that runs to his mates and tells them everything? Is he a boaster? Or does he keep his relationships to himself? Again, talking to someone - perhaps dropping in uninteresting gossip that you'd know came from him if it spread around - is a good way of figuring it out.

 

I have a few friends that I mess about with, engage in "banter", but I'd never go into details about my relationships that I didn't want known! On the other hand, one of our group takes great pleasure in blabbing every sordid detail (though some of it is probably poetic licence) of his encounters.

 

Exactly, geesh, lots of haters...

 

Anywho, if you're an uber hottie, you're gonna have all types after you..

 

Some will be shy orbiters..guys who idolize you, wish they could have a chick like you, but will never muster the courage to even have a full sentence between you without wetting their pants. You may already have friendzoned them. Now, becareful, some of them can get stalkerish/obsessive.

 

Others may be hotties too. But cuz they're hotties and know they know they got options and you're just another chick to them.

 

Now, the hotties and average guys (not orbiters mentioned above) may have something in common - the desire just to get with you and move on so they can high five their buddies and/or have a trophy wife. Look at Trump and rock stars, athletes...they have arm candy as their women, but they don't appreciate her for "her" (well a lot of hotties have no depth, brains) and who wants a man to treat her like that.

 

So yes, you gotta weed out the jerks - like any woman has to and hopefully meet Mr. Right.

 

Geesh, I was watching Nancy Grace her last week on air (HLN...plllleeeeze bring her back I hate that show and woman you replaced her with!!!)...and this Hispanic hottie, military got killed. They suspect it was her husband and/or some woman he's messing with. And, gosh darn, you'd think this guy would be kissing the sky for an intelligent beauty like her. Their baby is so beautifully too. But nope, looks like he wasn't serious about her, they were kinda LDR, she got knocked up, and two weeks after marrying her (they married after baby was a few months old) she's murdered. So you can tell that he didn't wanna marry and/or have a kid....no matter how hot she was. But he seemed like a douche too. He was handsome, fit, and even had that white teeth thing going on .

[RecentChange]

Further, it is well-documented that millennials are adulting slower that the previous generations and have a tendency to act and behave like teenagers and younger people. Not only is your claim that "most people" stop caring about how they are perceived by others by say 20, but your claim shows an unawareness of what the general population is truly like and, worse, is designed to make another person feel bad about him/herself. That is just not nice.

 

Oh gees... you certainly are a millennial aren't you! I don't know if this whole stunted "adulting" (I hate that term) thing really applies to relationships. I always associated it with the rise of the helicopter parent, and their offspring's subsequent inability to wipe their own a**.

 

And yes, us old people (I am about 2 years too old to be considered a millennial) can be big meanies - blame that on the self esteem movement. We were taught to buck up butter cup, the world doesn't revolve around you, rather than "be nice!" self esteem comes from success rather than being told you are great.

 

Back to your questions:

 

Questions:

1. What do guys generally want from the girl everyone has a crush on? Just someone to look at? Someone to flirt with? Someone to actually have a relationship with? I have never been aware of a particular girl "everyone" had a crush on. As for crushes in general - I don't think we can make sweeping generalizations. Sometimes its really just fantasy, fun to think about, infatuation, often ignoring negatives to stick to the fantasy. Sometimes its a genuine interest. I "crushed hard" on my high-school BF for a whole year before we ever got together.

 

2. Is there any way for you to go out with someone without a handful of people suddenly knowing all about it? Be discreet? Don't post on social media? Get an idea if this is the kinda guy to brag to all of his friends before you go on the date? - this is where knowing if you are in high school is relevant. Its much easier to not have all your business known if you at a college with 30,000 students, verses a high school with 2,000.

 

How do you know that "everyone" is crushing on you? What is it about you that has so many enamored?

[Springsummer]

but I know several people (some of whom are friends with each other) have had a crush on me for sometime and I'm not sure how to feel about this.

 

Several?

 

most single guys if not all will have a crush on a single girl, if she is decent looking and if there are not a lots of girls around.

[S_A]

I dated a girl that every guy in the city had a crush on (a city within in LA county). It was fun even though we weren't too compatible. I did not mind the attention she got. Was not her fault (or the guys' fault for that matter, they have eyes too y'know).

 

Edit: mis-interpreted the OP's post, so that makes my post sort of irrelevant.

Edited October 26, 2016 by S_A

[Sunkissedpatio]

I've often wondered this too. I assumed it was sex...?

[Just a Guy]

Hi August, you could be emanating some very strong pheromones which young guys with high levels of testosterone just cannot resist. Otherwise it seems you have an inflated sense of your own attractiveness that you think so many guys are crushing on you. At the same time you seem to be a bit of a touch me not, a bit overly sensitive for your own good.

 

I would think that you would be better served by not being so conscious about who thinks what of you, develop a bit of a thick skin and just go out and enjoy yourself. If you want to sow your wild oats by all means go ahead and do so and stop worrying about what others think and who knows what you are doing. You are lucky because you are a young person living in the 21st century. Folks like us lived in medieval times compared to you when we were young. Just have fun and enjoy your youth whatever be the definition of fun for you. Don't be so conscious of what others are thinking about you that you are given to analysing in detail the various nuances of others thought precedes. There is an ad line a car company uses where I am from which goes like this" Live young live free"! I suggest you make it your motto! Warm wished.

Edited October 27, 2016 by Just a Guy