BeStrong2 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 I know B for almost 1 year. We were colleagues until he left in Feb this year. We met regularly for lunch and I confide in him. He is a guy friend I go to when I have issues with guys. In essence I know he likes me..and I am tempted to ask him for some physical comfort(hug n kisses) I am in a loveless marriage..staying on because of the financial stability and my daughter.. but I did not do that until recently.. we shared a kiss ..he try to contact me the next day.. but I was cold because I dont know if i really wanted to start something with a married man. He leave me alone for 3 wks.. then we recontact again. We went out share more kisses. He told me he always wanted to have another partner. Maybe is his family background. His father has 2 wives. A wife who takes care of his family..children.. Another partner who will run his business tog with him. He said he is in love with me..he will tell his wife about me.. in short he will not hide me.. His wife most likely will divorce him but he dont care. He wants me. I thinks he is twisted .. but yet at the same time I was touched..I was in a relationship with a MM b4.. n the thing i wanted most then is to be out in the open.. To help in his biz.. So is like a deja vu thing..even though it sound childish to me..but it still touches me I rejected him and told him I wanted in no way to be involve with his relationship with his wife..essentially to f off. Almost 1 wk passed by..I was feeling abit guilty coz I feel that I kinda lead him on when i kissed him bck then.. and then rejected him So we went out.. i was stressed bcoz of work and I let my guard down. We kissed again.. then i started havin deeper feelings for him. We dated for 2 wks.... then we chatted and he started his awful dream of havin 2 partners..i told him.I will never be. I dont need to be. He kept talkin about how his wife will divorce him if we are really together n how he love me..and is willing to accept the consquences. I told him i cnt.. esp when i know he do love his wife. He just love me too. I mean this is bloody twisted.. I told him..i wanted out...n he replied me 1 day later that I didnt spare a thought for his feelings.. So i told him .. then He tell me wat i should do . I just want to hear from him I just want to give him a fair chance..because i do feel myself falling He contacted me few days later. Didnt mention about the plans.. until i confronted him We met and kiss again. He was telling me how much he fall for me and how telling his wife will b a nuclear bomb but he is willing to do that.. So silly me thought he is ready to divorce.. until today when I qns him abt his relationship w his wife.. Thats when ..is back to sq 1...he is still in love w his wife..he just want to have 2 partner..is back to sq 1 I blocked him from all contacts..feeling miserable yet strangely at peace..even though Im feel right at the pit.. Do tell me your thoughts.. Should I just go ahead n b with him. Lets see if he told his wife..and will she really kick him out.... Or.. just cut this selfish jerk off my life I am already on the latter.. .. Im just wonderin.. Im just being silly here..pls... Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 I am in a loveless marriage..staying on because of the financial stability and my daughter.. but I did not do that until recently. Discuss this with your husband. Ask him what you should do. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 So you want him to tell his wife but you don't plan to tell your husband? You expect him to go public about you with everyone in his life while you are continuing to hide him and protect your marriage. Doesn't that sound highly hypocritical to you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 (edited) Figure out your marriage first. [Then y]ou can decide what to do with the second man. Edited October 24, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeStrong2 Posted October 24, 2016 Author Share Posted October 24, 2016 No. I am ready to divorce and be with him. But I cannot accept that he still loves his wife. It is just so twisted.. how can he loves his wife and loves me. Why is he willing to openly declare me..as the other woman Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 I don't think he is ready to have an out in the open relationship with you. He said he was but you've got to separate things he says from things he does. It looks like he grooming you. He use the push/pull to keep you off kilter and keep your desire up. He really just wants to have an affair. It's up to you to decide if that's all you want from him. Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 No. I am ready to divorce and be with him. But I cannot accept that he still loves his wife. It is just so twisted.. how can he loves his wife and loves me. Why is he willing to openly declare me..as the other woman The real question is are you ready to divorce and be alone. Because that is what you will be. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 so - you will be able to phone him at home? spend the whole night with him? pop round to see him? and be careful of his wife, who will hate you, imo Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Or.. just cut this selfish jerk off my life I am already on the latter.. .. Im just wonderin.. Im just being silly here..pls... ^^^ This^^^ You know exactly what to do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 So you and the MM are both cheaters. You're both lying to your spouses. But HE is a selfish jerk and you are...what? A victim? Honey no. If he's a selfish jerk then you are too. Make up your mind and stop lying to everyone. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Forever broken Posted October 24, 2016 Share Posted October 24, 2016 Unfortunately, he's a cake eater. He wants a stable home and a fling outside. You deserve better. Seek marriage or individual counseling. You deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BeStrong2 Posted October 26, 2016 Author Share Posted October 26, 2016 It has been almost 3 days since Mon. I had blocked him on whatapps but I dont think he did even attempt to contact me. Yesterday night. I send him this msg and blocked him again. I said " I would like to have a proper closure. I will never be happy being the other woman. Wish you well. I been down these few days but functional. I intend to unblock him and delete his no entirely. I know is still a very short time of NC.. I still have a long way to go. But with this epsiode. It is clear as light that he didnt love me or care the way he claimed to be. A man will never ever let the woman he love go without a real fight. To keep her by his side. It hurts that well it is gd to know the truth..no matter how much it hurts Link to post Share on other sites
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