Lost The Will To Eat

[Dark Horse]

YES I STILL EAT, I just don't eat as much because of depression. It won't let me change the title of the thread, no need to be worried.

 

What's the point in trying? What's the point in dressing nice, and looking good? Girls don't like me, girls don't give me a chance.

 

You know what angers me and is so frustrating for me? How so many people, especially girls have it easy getting dates, getting sex, and I can't even get a single date! Girls wont go out with me.

 

I have a problem. I get too emotionally attached to a girl to soon, but if I see her out with another guy, it angers me. The thought of her with another guy and them having sex, it makes me super angry!

 

I have 0 success with women and it upsets me! It hurts knowing that no one else is my family had this issue. My mom went from boyfriend to boyfriend and probably had a ton of partners. My dad was the same, he was a ladies man in high school and went on many dates. All of my aunts, uncles, cousins, were in relationships in their teens and probably lost their virginity then as well. My female cousins and my sister went from boyfriend to boyfriend, my sister was a party girl in her twenties and probably fked dozens of guys.

 

My friends get dates on Tinder, they know how to smooth talk a lady. Meanwhile, I match with hardly anyone even when I swipe yes to everybody and my pictures arne't bad. I have a picture of me playing a guitar, me with a dog, even in a dress up shirt with my buddy. I STILL hardly get any matches. I feel like sht!

 

It feels like everybody is having success but me, I feel like there's something wrong with me because I can't get dates, I don't get the opportunity to meet girls. Meanwhile they're out dating and hooking up and it makes me super angry and jealous!

 

Sometimes I wish I was born a woman because then I woudn't have any struggles with attracting people. I'd be 10x more attractive if I were a girl, i'm short and scrawny and look younger for my age. I don't think some of you realize this but women my age have it easier attracting men and going on dates.

 

I don't eat as much anymore because of the depression, because of the need and desire to be loved in return and i'm already fairly skinny. I just don't see the point in trying because girls will NEVER like me for who I am. It sucks to be 21 years old and still a kissless, dateless, virgin! I'm turning 22 in December. It was just another ***ing year wasted!

 

 

When will it be my time? When will I get the opportunity to love? That's something I never conquered, and I want to so bad! But i'm an emotionally piece of sht.

 

 

Please, send someone to love me! Too bad it feels like it will never come!

Edited October 25, 2016 by Dark Horse

[MsJayne]

Wow, you sound very down on yourself. Girls don't go for looks really, it's all about confidence and personality. If you come across as sad and needy it drives people away. Maybe you need to do some work on yourself? Possibly a trip to a doctor to discuss your depression, because it sounds serious. A lot of anti-depressant meds increase your appetite, so maybe you should start with that and while you bulk up perhaps go to a gym, or take up running, whatever, and turn the weight into muscle. This would achieve two things, one it would make you feel better about your appearance, and two it would give you some confidence. Then look at other aspects of your appearance, things like your choice of hairstyle, your teeth, the way you choose to dress, even the way you stand. All these things send out messages to other people, ie; if you're always dressed in black and have hair hanging over your eyes, and round shoulders, it gives the impression you're a downer and sends out bad vibes. On the other hand if you're getting around in yellow track pants and a purple shirt that also sends out a bad message. On a deeper level appearances aren't important, but in the first instance they are, people do judge a book by it's cover. And it's really important that you take action to deal with your depression, because depression colours your whole world and makes you behave a certain way, other people do sense it and it makes them uncomfortable because they don't know what to do to help, so they back away. You don't have to tell anyone that you've been to a doctor for help, keep it to yourself, just start a plan of becoming the person you would like to be and try to stick to it. It's very difficult to take positive action when you feel so down, but the alternative is far, far worse.

[Dark Horse]

It doesn't help that I live in a culture that is exposed to love and sex constantly. I come here and everybody's talking about the people they've been having sex with, the dates they've gone on, it just really pisses me off and I don't even know why. I guess it's because I want to know what that's like so bad!

 

And yes I do actually dress nice. I have a nice looking sweater I wear, good pants, boots, people have even told me that I dress nice. A girl pretty much told me, I really love your boots, actually I love your whole outfit. It made me feel good about myself. I want to dress nice, I want to look good for women.

 

I'm actually friends with some girls now, the first time iv'e actually been friends with a girl but they both have boyfriends. They were the ones that approached me when I was sitting alone at a lunch table. They have a friend who's single, I think she's cute but I know she's seeing multiple guys plus we're not really each others type.

[preraph]

You have all kinds of issues making you like this. You are very insecure, which to work on that, you need to make an appointment with a psychologist and keep going for awhile to get to the bottom of it. Jealousy is just part of your insecurity and has nothing to do with the other person at all.

 

The reason you fall in love too soon is because you have a script in your head that is the "ideal woman," and you start projecting this onto every woman you're attracted to and assume she is going to be like the ideal woman. Then if you do start getting to know her, you will always be disappointed because that dream woman doesn't exist. You're in love with an ideal because that's all you can handle being in love with due to your insecurities. You can envision great love with the ideal woman but under very specific conditions in which she is and behaves a certain way and dispels your fears. But truth is there is no magic person who can fix you. A therapist has to do that.

 

I strongly recommend that you begin seeing one immediately so that you do not have to struggle with this the rest of your life. It's usually stuff from childhood, so it takes some work to understand the root of it and begin working on it. But it's not like you're crazy or anything. It's just a problem that needs a professional to help fix it.

 

Good luck.

[Satu]

I strongly recommend that you find a therapist and get to work on your feelings about yourself.

 

All our interactions with other people are influenced by our feelings about ourselves.

 

Don't delay, because no magic person will come along and make you feel good about yourself. You have to do it.

 

 

Take care.