Need -- he took off in the car in a panic and wouldn't let me out

[hellorhighwater22]

I don't think he will physically harm me it's emotional abuse.

 

The other thing is he holds all the money. I work and do well I would have to empty our bank account and move out stat. But if I take the money. It will be permanent. We have a joint account but he has text alerts the moment something happens on the account. He will know ASAP.

 

So when I go. I have got to GO and not look back. That is what scares me. Not being able to go back.

[hellorhighwater22]

I need to have the strength go wake up in the morning...go to work and take money out of our joint account and disappear. Please give me words of encouraging. I have tried Befkre. I have failed many times. How do I get the strength?

[dreamingoftigers]

Why?

 

.......

 

Abusive relationships are both addictive and traumatic.

 

Like being stuck permanently in 'fight or flight.'

 

Unfortunately, there is a third alternative to 'fight or flight' that staggers some people. I know because I have it too. It is "Freeze."

 

I Freeze in terror. I can talk about it. But basically I just can't do sht when I'm terrified.

 

I think in this thread that we need to be VERY careful to not shame the OP, thus cutting off a support lifeline to her.

 

Right now (trust me I know) her mind will be generating worst case scenarios about what can / will happen to both her and her husband if she tries to leave. Especially with him so paranoid.

 

OP, you need to make a call to a distress hotline. Don't let them pressure you, BUT DO use them as a support.

 

You ARE NOT betraying your husband. He is terrorizing you.

 

When people can't control their emotions, they start controlling the people around them in any way they can.

 

If you read The Verbally Abusive Relationship, you'll get a clearer picture.

 

You NEED to make an emergency plan NOW. You need somewhere to go, some money set aside, SOMETHING.