redbaron007 Posted October 26, 2016 Share Posted October 26, 2016 So last week I was at a Starbucks and see a beautiful woman sitting by herself studying. Not only is she beautiful (by my standards that includes pretty face, long hair, tall, slim/athletic) , but she looks like in the 27-32 age bracket, which is very, very rare in my area with it's lousy demographics (usually high-schoolers and community college goers aged 20 and under). So of course I have to approach. I noticed the language of the book was completely unknown to me, so I walked up to her, smiled, gestured for her to take off her headphones and asked her what she was studying. Turns out it was Greek and she was a linguistics student at a Bay Area university. Turns out she's from London and has lived in NYC previously (I've lived in both cities before), so we introduced ourselves had a great time reminiscing. She mentions she has a 3 yo daughter, I mention my son. She mentioned she worked at a wine bar on weekends. She then said she had a test the next day, so I excused myself and went back to my table. Just minutes later, a guy shows up with the most adorable little girl who runs into her arms. I watch them closely. The guy does not kiss/touch her and they seem very formal, but the three of them leave together. I ponder on what just happened and decide I just have to take a chance and see her at the wine bar. I go Saturday night about an hour before close and it's really busy since it's top rated for its wine and cuisine. She is super-busy and does not acknowledge me for 30 minutes while she is running around with food platters and wine. Finally 20 minutes before close, it gets emptier, and she walks straight up to me, smiles broadly and says "Hi RedBaron!" and puts an arm around me. We make some small talk and I invite her to share a wine bottle with me after close. She says it's complicated and will explain shortly after she's done with her last table. She returns after about 5 minutes and tells me that she's literally just ended her marriage 3 weeks ago and that guy the other day was her ex. She really likes me but she does not want to jump into a relationship this early. I said, fine, let's do coffee instead during the day, she says fine, and gives me her email, which I tease her about. By now, I understand it's over. But I still send her an email and ask her to go bowling with me, which is light-hearted and fun. She responded with a lovely email that I will share with you all below. This was a bitter-sweet encounter for me. Though she absolutely made the right decision, I do feel disappointed that I met such a classy woman and the timing was so terrible. So here goes her email... Hi RedBaron It was quite a surprise to see you at <Wine bar>. I have my daughter full time right now so it's hard to get out and be a grown up. To be honest I'm just not in a place that I can consider dating right now, even if it's lighthearted. I'm sure you are a really fun person. But as I mentioned I am right in the middle of quite a messy split. I am flattered that you want to hang out but the timing is terrible. I just couldn't have that conversation with you at my workplace. I hope you understand. Take good care and perhaps I'll see you around town. Best, <Classy woman> Hats off to you classy lady! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 Sometimes we meet people at the wrong time, but who reinforce ideals we are seeking. This was a fun story about how life isn't always linear, Grumps Link to post Share on other sites
zouz71 Posted October 27, 2016 Share Posted October 27, 2016 If all what you want is fun sex and materialistic issues , the lady is not available for you right now . If I were you I would still stand by her side , because she needs good ppl around , and seem to be a gd person . I usually have the tendancy to become friend with people who are in a hard situation ; at the end , even helping changing diapers is fun Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 She's in the middle of divorce and really it's best both spouses refrain from dating during that time until all the divorce and child custody issues are settled, because someone going out partying who has a child can influence the family court. Plus, of course, she's in too much emotional turmoil to want to date right now. She has your contact info. Leave her alone and maybe in a year or two she will contact you. Link to post Share on other sites
BDJ_1 Posted October 30, 2016 Share Posted October 30, 2016 I'm interested in why when she said she wasn't interested in serious dating and you suggested coffee that you ended up emailing her and proposing bowling. That suggests dating rather than friends and was unlikely to ever get a positive response. If you were ok with friends you should have stuck with coffee. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 So last week I was at a Starbucks and see a beautiful woman sitting by herself studying. Not only is she beautiful (by my standards that includes pretty face, long hair, tall, slim/athletic) , but she looks like in the 27-32 age bracket, which is very, very rare in my area with it's lousy demographics (usually high-schoolers and community college goers aged 20 and under). So of course I have to approach. I noticed the language of the book was completely unknown to me, so I walked up to her, smiled, gestured for her to take off her headphones and asked her what she was studying. Turns out it was Greek and she was a linguistics student at a Bay Area university. Turns out she's from London and has lived in NYC previously (I've lived in both cities before), so we introduced ourselves had a great time reminiscing. She mentions she has a 3 yo daughter, I mention my son. She mentioned she worked at a wine bar on weekends. She then said she had a test the next day, so I excused myself and went back to my table. Just minutes later, a guy shows up with the most adorable little girl who runs into her arms. I watch them closely. The guy does not kiss/touch her and they seem very formal, but the three of them leave together. I ponder on what just happened and decide I just have to take a chance and see her at the wine bar. I go Saturday night about an hour before close and it's really busy since it's top rated for its wine and cuisine. She is super-busy and does not acknowledge me for 30 minutes while she is running around with food platters and wine. Finally 20 minutes before close, it gets emptier, and she walks straight up to me, smiles broadly and says "Hi RedBaron!" and puts an arm around me. We make some small talk and I invite her to share a wine bottle with me after close. She says it's complicated and will explain shortly after she's done with her last table. She returns after about 5 minutes and tells me that she's literally just ended her marriage 3 weeks ago and that guy the other day was her ex. She really likes me but she does not want to jump into a relationship this early. I said, fine, let's do coffee instead during the day, she says fine, and gives me her email, which I tease her about. By now, I understand it's over. But I still send her an email and ask her to go bowling with me, which is light-hearted and fun. She responded with a lovely email that I will share with you all below. This was a bitter-sweet encounter for me. Though she absolutely made the right decision, I do feel disappointed that I met such a classy woman and the timing was so terrible. So here goes her email... Hi RedBaron It was quite a surprise to see you at <Wine bar>. I have my daughter full time right now so it's hard to get out and be a grown up. To be honest I'm just not in a place that I can consider dating right now, even if it's lighthearted. I'm sure you are a really fun person. But as I mentioned I am right in the middle of quite a messy split. I am flattered that you want to hang out but the timing is terrible. I just couldn't have that conversation with you at my workplace. I hope you understand. Take good care and perhaps I'll see you around town. Best, <Classy woman> Hats off to you classy lady! Sounds like a pretty good encounter, sounds like it sucks that you can't go out with her due to her situation. What sucks as an AVAILABLE single guy, you see unattached women at the tail end of divorces that aren't "ready to date yet". But yet, you have to slip in between the cracks or find the right timing before some other guy snatches her away. By the way, how did you know where she worked? maybe in a year or two she will contact you. Year or two? Don't hold your breath. lol Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 I'm interested in why when she said she wasn't interested in serious dating and you suggested coffee that you ended up emailing her and proposing bowling. That suggests dating rather than friends and was unlikely to ever get a positive response. If you were ok with friends you should have stuck with coffee. Guess he was so attracted to her, he figured he'd switch gears. Link to post Share on other sites
EveryWomanJ2911 Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Its good to see that there are people with healthy boundaries in the world who are honest and considerate. In the future I hope that you can carry on the honesty with kindness, or classiness, in your personal life to keep the good forward momentum going in the dating world. Setting clear limits and being considerate about them is always a positive. Blessings Friend! Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Sounds creepy to hang around a persons workplace... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TheArtist Posted October 31, 2016 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Sounds creepy to hang around a persons workplace... Unless it's a stakeout. It might have been a stakeout. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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