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Passive men, passive me


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I tried making the first move with a decent-looking new guy in the office such as getting his attention and went to an after-work gathering but I don't see the guy recriprocating. He didn't text to ask about work, for lunch or even stop by at my desk saying hi. Is he too busy or simply uninterested? Am I still too passive or simply overthinking?

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The only thing you've said about him is that he's decent looking and that you made a move. You've said nothing about the conversations you've had with him or how well you get along - and it's through these things that we gauge interest.

 

Do you have a chat when you see him in the kitchen? At the work function, how long did you spend talking with him? If you did spend a while talking, does he seem your type and was there easy conversation? Is he single?

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You are right. To think of it, all the conversations were shallow such as "how was the training" and "how interesting is our company". he doesn't have a ring on it but yea maybe he's a married man who doesn't wear a ring! Goodness I must have embarrassed myself. I think I need to skip him.

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He might have a girlfriend, might not date people he works with, or like you said maybe not interested.

But at this point there's nothing to really think or worry about, you barely interacted with him.

Edited by Erik30
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Ya man, he's got stuff to do. Like collating paper work and stuff. Maybe even rearranging how he hangs his shirts in the closet.

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Men and women have vastly different ideas on what "making a move" is.

 

Women will think they are being over the top and brazen when making a move and other women will see it and be shocked at how forward and brazen another woman is....but men won't even see it or know that it was making a move.

 

To a woman, looking out of your left eye at a 27 degree angle and dipping your chin down 13.62 degrees and making a 3 millimeter grin out of left side of your lips for 2.7 seconds is making a brazen move.

 

Guys start to notice and think something is up when you reach into their pants, grab their junk and say, "I want some of this, I want it hard and I want it now!"

 

Anything less than that goes over most men's heads.

 

You may think you made a move, but to him you just said hi and were just making office chatter.

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Goodness I must have embarrassed myself. I think I need to skip him.

 

No reason for embarrassment.

 

And you don't need to skip him, you just need to bump up your girl-game.

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Men and women have vastly different ideas on what "making a move" is.

 

You may think you made a move, but to him you just said hi and were just making office chatter.

 

Where do you draw a line between being desperate and being sociable?

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Not sure that's the case here, that he's just dense, but my feeling is if a man is that dense or that fearful, you don't want him anyway.

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